Do you...
... ever second-guess going to an activity because you’re not sure if you’ll have a friend there?
... avoid conversations with the bishopric because you’re afraid they’ll ask you to give a talk?
... prefer to hang back and watch instead of interacting with others?
If this sounds familiar, you may consider yourself a shy person—and that’s OK! All kinds of people, from introverted to outgoing, are needed in God’s kingdom. The key is to not let shyness keep you from connecting with others and enjoying activities. Just like it’s good for talkative people to practice being quiet and listening, it’s helpful for shy people to practice being bold at times.
Here are 7 tips to try:
- Remember who you are and what you’re good at. You are a son or daughter of God! That knowledge can give you a confidence boost. Take time to think about specific talents God has given you.
- Think of things ahead of time to talk about. If you have trouble talking with others, think of some comments ahead of time that you could bring up. What do you find interesting? What might they be interested in?
- Pray for help. God wants you to be successful. He can help our weaknesses become strengths (see Ether 12:27).
- Try something new—without high expectations. There’s no growth in the comfort zone, and no comfort in the growth zone. Try something new and acknowledge that it’s OK if it doesn’t go perfectly at first. It’ll get better the more you practice!
- Breathe deeply. You might feel yourself tensing up physically around others. Try to relax. Smiling can help.
- Think about others. Chances are, you aren’t the only one feeling uncomfortable or searching for a friend. Focusing outward will help get your mind off your worries and give you opportunities to help others.
- Practice. Don’t give up! Keep going to church, activities, FSY conferences, and other places where you can practice being confident in a group of wholesome, supportive people. You got this!
Find a Confidence Mentor
PS—If you have any tips about gaining confidence, email us at youth@ChurchofJesusChrist.org and tell us about it! Maybe we will share your tips in a future post.