Going through the pain of loss and grief can be difficult. We can find comfort, support, and peace by connecting with others, talking about our loss and grief, increasing our emotional resilience, and turning to our Heavenly Father and Savior.
As we read in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Connect with Church Leaders
When experiencing profound loss and grief, connecting with Church leaders—like the Relief Society president, elders quorum president, or your ministering brother or sister—can be a source of support and encouragement during this difficult period. If you need further assistance, talk with your bishop.
Leaders can be attentive listeners who can also guide you toward valuable resources and help available through the Church. Depending on the type of loss or grief you are experiencing, the following resources could be helpful:
- Compassionate service/help from your ward family
- Emotional Resilience course
- Counseling services from Family Services
- Bishop Storehouse Food Orders
- Employment Resources
- Financial Assistance and Self-Reliance Planning
- Finding Strength in the Lord: Addiction Recovery Program
If you are a bishop, Church leader, or ministering brother or sister helping someone go through loss and grief, see “Ministering to Others Facing Challenges.”
Counseling Services
Turn Towards the Savior
Sometimes, in times of sadness or uncertainty, it can feel as though nobody understands what you are going through. But you are never completely alone. The healing and strengthening power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement is for all of us who will ask. Our Savior knows exactly what you are going through. He suffered every pain. He knows your individual grief, and He can help you through it.
There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens.
You can experience the peace that comes from knowing the Savior understands your feelings by drawing closer to Him by doing the following:
- Study His teachings.
- Follow His example.
- Attend the temple.
- Speak to Him in prayer.
Jesus empathizes with your struggles and desires your happiness. He is aware of you and cares about you. Jesus Christ took upon Himself all suffering so He would know how to help you with yours. You are not alone. John 14:18 assures us that He “will not leave us comfortless.”
Join a Support Group
Support groups can connect you with people experiencing similar feelings about loss and grief, which can be helpful for individuals who feel that no one around them understands their situation or how they feel. They can offer understanding and connection, particularly for those who feel isolated in their circumstances, and offer a different avenue of hope and support.
Consider finding a grief support group through:
- Mental health professionals
- Family physicians
- Organization websites
- Local non-profit organizations
- Mortuaries
- Hospice organizations
- Social media
- Browser search
Support groups vary widely in structure and focus, so be selective and choose one that works well with your needs and comfort level.
Note: Consult with your local Family Services office (where available) to get references or recommendations on support groups or community resources available in your area.
How to Know If I Need Counseling
When dealing with loss, it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions such as sadness, confusion, anger, anxiety, or even exhaustion. However, if you feel overwhelmed or stuck in these emotions, or find these emotions are interfering with your normal life activities, you may need to talk with a mental health professional.
Seeing a counselor to talk about and process your feelings about your loss and grief may be helpful. They can share information and suggest coping strategies for navigating life’s struggles. “Members should carefully select reputable professional counselors who have applicable licensing. Counselors should respect the agency, values, and beliefs of those seeking help.” (General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ or Latter-day Saints, 31.3.6).
If you’re in a situation where you need added support or are in need of financial assistance for counseling, talk with your bishop to connect with Family Services counseling services, if available.
As Sister Reyna I. Aburto said, “When our minds are suffering, it is appropriate to seek help from God, from those around us, and from medical and mental health professionals” (“Thru Cloud and Sunshine, Lord, Abide with Me!” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2019, 57).
Additional Articles:
Coping with Different Types of Loss
As Elder Robert D. Hales said in his talk, “Suffering is universal; how we react to suffering is individual. Suffering can take us one of two ways. It can be a strengthening and purifying experience combined with faith or a destructive force in our lives if we do not have faith in the Lord’s atoning sacrifice. The purpose of suffering, however, is to build and strengthen us” (“Your Sorrow Shall Be Turned to Joy,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 1983, 65).
The Church offers a course called “Finding Strength in the Lord: Emotional Resilience” to help members develop skills in emotional resilience that help them endure challenges. Check with your bishop to see if your ward or stake offers group classes currently or to see how you can access the course online.