Marriage and Parenthood: Preparing Our Families for Eternal Life

The Lord has informed us that marriage is ordained of God unto man [see D&C 49:15]. The institution of marriage, in some communities of which we read, is falling almost into disrepute. It is alleged that there is a growing tendency in this direction among us. The cause is, doubtless, traceable to the increase of wealth and the disinclination of young men to take upon them the burdens of a wife and family. As we depart from the simplicity of early days, we may naturally expect that this tendency will increase as young men may be restrained from offering marriage to young ladies unless they can give them something like as comfortable a home as they enjoy under their parents’ roof. Extravagant or luxuriant habits of training on the part of the girls will also have the effect to deter young men from marrying. … The young of both sexes should be taught that it is not necessary to happiness in marriage to be in the possession of wealth.⁷

When the daughters of Zion are asked by the young men to join with them in marriage, instead of asking—“Has this man a fine brick house, a span of fine horses and a fine carriage?” they should ask—“Is he a man of God? Has he the Spirit of God with him? Is he a Latter-day Saint? Does he pray? Has he got the Spirit upon him to qualify him to build up the kingdom?” If he has that, never mind the carriage and brick house, take hold and unite yourselves together according to the law of God.⁸

It is the duty of these young men [in] Zion to take the daughters of Zion to wife, and prepare tabernacles [physical bodies] for the spirits of men, which are the children of our Father in Heaven. They are waiting for tabernacles, they are ordained to come here, and they ought to be born in the land of Zion instead of Babylon.⁹

I call upon parents throughout Zion to do what you can to induce your sons and daughters to walk in the paths of righteousness and truth and to improve the opportunities before them. Do not let your hearts be altogether upon the vanity and affairs of the world, but learn to appreciate the fact that faithful children are among the choicest and greatest of blessings.¹⁰

The blessing that God has revealed to us in the patriarchal order of marriage—being sealed for time and eternity—is not prized by us as it should be.¹¹

We should prize our families, and the associations we have together, remembering that if we are faithful we shall inherit glory, immortality and eternal life, and this is the greatest of all the gifts of God to man [see D&C 14:7].¹²

I have never had any doubts with regard to the truth and final triumph of this work. I have none today. I have no doubts about Zion becoming all that the prophets saw it, in its glory, its power, its dominion and strength, with the power of God resting upon it.

In view of all these things, the question which has arisen in my mind, and which has caused me a good deal of thought, is, who is going to take this kingdom and bear it off? Unto whom is the Lord going to look to take this kingdom in its final triumph and prepare it in its perfection and glory for the coming of the Son of Man? To our sons and daughters. … Upon their shoulders this kingdom has got to rest, when their fathers and elders have passed to the other side of the veil. This is before me just as plain as the light of the sun in the firmament of heaven. And when I consider this, I ask myself, what condition are our young men and women in? Are we, as parents, doing our duty towards them? Are they trying to qualify themselves and preparing for the great destiny and work which lie before them?¹³

None of us know what course our children will take. We set good examples before them, and we strive to teach them righteous principles; but when they come to years of accountability they have their agency and they act for themselves.¹⁴

In our zeal to preach the Gospel to the people of all nations, we should not forget the duties devolving upon us in regard to the proper bringing up of our own children, instilling in them, when young, a love for truth and virtue, and reverence for sacred things, and affording them a knowledge of the principles of the Gospel.¹⁵

Let us try and bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord [see Ephesians 6:4]. Let us set them good examples and teach them good principles while they are young. They are given to us by our heavenly Father; they are our kingdom, they are the foundation of our exaltation and glory; they are plants of renown [see D&C 124:61], and we should strive to bear them up before the Lord, and teach them to pray to and to have faith in the Lord as far as we can, that when we are passed and gone and they succeed us on this stage of action they may bear off the great latter-day work and kingdom of God upon the earth.¹⁶

Those who live under what is called civilized rule, are taught the moral law—the ten commandments—they are taught not to lie, not to swear, not to steal, in short, not to do those things that are counted ungodly, unholy and unrighteous in the midst of society. When parents teach their children these principles in early youth they make an impression upon their minds, and as quick as children arrive at years of accountability, early impressions will have an influence upon their actions, and throughout the rest of their lives. Children so impressed and so trained, are ever after shocked when they hear their associates swear, and take the name of God in vain, and if ever they learn so to swear it first requires a great effort to overcome their early impressions.¹⁷

It is … a great blessing to children to have parents who pray and teach their children good principles, and set a good example before them. Parents cannot properly reprove children for doing things which they practice themselves.¹⁸

If we set a good example before our children, and try to instruct them from their childhood to maturity; teach them to pray and to honor the Almighty; teach them those principles that will sustain them in the midst of all trials, that the Spirit of the Lord may rest upon them, … then they will not easily be led astray. Good impressions will follow them through life, and whatever principles may be presented, those good impressions will never leave them.¹⁹

I have long been satisfied that the devil was making great exertions to drive a wedge in between parents and children, trying to inspire and instil into the minds of the sons and daughters of the saints those corrupting notions that will prevent them from following the footsteps of their fathers and mothers. …

… How important it is that we should be wise fathers and mothers, and that we should act wisely in instilling into their youthful minds all those principles that will lead them to that which is just, and to carry out in their lives the principles of righteousness and truth. …

… It is a great thing to know how to act so as to gain the feelings and affections of our families, that will lead them in the path wherein they may be saved. This is a study and a work that should not be laid aside by parents. … Many times we may consider business so urgent that it must crowd these things out of our minds, but this should not be. Any man’s mind that is open, and who looks forward to the work that lies before us, will see and feel that the responsibility that rests upon him concerning his own family, and especially in the rearing up of his children, is very great.

We want to save our children, and to have them partake of all the blessings that encircle the sanctified, to have them receive the blessings of their parents who have been faithful to the fulness of the gospel.²⁰

Let us all look at home, and each one try to govern his own family and set his own house in order.²¹

When I was a boy and went to school, the schoolmaster used to come with a bundle of sticks about eight feet long, and one of the first things we expected was to get a whipping. For anything that was not pleasing to him we would get a terrible thrashing. What whipping I got then did not do me any good. … Kindness, gentleness and mercy are better every way. I would like this principle instilled into the minds of our young men, that they may carry it out in all their acts in life. Tyranny is not good, whether it be exercised by kings, by presidents, or by the servants of God. Kind words are far better than harsh words. If, when we have difficulties one with another, we would be kind and affable to each other, we would save ourselves a great deal of trouble.

… You go into a family where a man treats his wife and children kindly, and you will find that they will treat him in the same way. Complaints reach me of the treatment of men to their wives. They do not provide for them. They do not treat them kindly. All this pains me. These things should not be. … We should be kind to one another, do good to one another, and labor to promote the welfare, the interest and the happiness of each other, especially those of our own households.

The man stands at the head of the family. He is the patriarch of his household. … There is no more beautiful sight on earth than to see a man stand at the head of his family and teach them righteous principles and give them good counsel. These children honor their father, and they take consolation and joy in having a father who is a righteous man.²²

As a rule, we regard the mother as the one who gives shape to the character of the child. I consider that the mother has a greater influence over her posterity than any other person can have. And the question has arisen sometimes, “When does this education begin?” Our prophets have said, “When the spirit life from God enters into the tabernacle.” The condition of the mother at that time will have its effect upon the fruit of her womb; and from the birth of the child, and all through life, the teachings and the example of the mother govern and control, in a great measure, that child, and her influence is felt by it through time and eternity.²³

Upon the shoulders of you mothers rests, in a great measure, the responsibility of correctly developing the mental and moral powers of the rising generation, whether in infancy, childhood, or still riper years. … No mother in Israel should let a day pass over her head without teaching her children to pray. You should pray yourselves, and teach your children to do the same, and you should bring them up in this way, that when you have passed away, and they take your places in bearing off the great work of God, they may have principles instilled into their minds that will sustain them in time and in eternity. I have often said it is the mother who forms the mind of the child. …

… Show me a mother who prays, who has passed through the trials of life by prayer, who has trusted in the Lord God of Israel in her trials and difficulties, and her children will follow in the same path. These things will not forsake them when they come to act in the kingdom of God.²⁴

Our sisters … have their duties to perform to their husbands. They should consider his position and his circumstances. … Every wife should be kind to her husband. She should comfort him and do what good she can for him, under all circumstances in life. When all the family are united together, they enjoy a heavenly spirit here on the earth. This is how it should be; for when a man in this Church takes unto himself a wife he expects to remain with her through all time and eternity. In the morning of the first resurrection he expects to have that wife and his children with him in a family organization, to remain in that condition forever and forever. What a glorious thought that is!²⁵