My dear young friends and members of the Church, how honored I am and delighted to be with you this evening in this CES fireside for young adults. We've gathered together tonight in a beautiful institute building here in Ogden, Utah. In my mind's eye I see you in hundreds of chapels and institutes throughout all of North America and in many parts of the world. I see you sitting together with your friends and your spouses, those of you who are married, anxious to know what the Lord may speak through me to you. I compliment you for your faith and your achievement. Never have we had such an enlightened group of young adults in the Church as we have today. We love you; we trust you. We know that you are the future leaders of the Church. I see you as students. Many of you are employed. I see many of you as single adults. Others are married. As you sit together tonight, set aside the cares and concerns of the world. Listen with open hearts and minds that you may receive answers to your prayers. Listen with faith that you might know the will of the Lord for you. I bring you the greetings and love of the Brethren of the Church. I have the honor and privilege to associate frequently with members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve, along with other General Authorities. I sit in many meetings where counsel is given that affects all members of the Church. In all of these meetings, prayers are offered. The most prayed-over group in the Church, I believe, are missionaries. Next is you. Seldom is a prayer offered where a petition to bless and remember the young adults of the Church is not mentioned. Now, I have prayed and fasted for you tonight that my words will be helpful. Through prayer and faith, I have sought inspiration, that perhaps just one person in this vast audience might receive an answer to his or her personal prayers. If that is achieved, my efforts will have been a great success. Now, you live in a time of great promise. Never in the history of the world have there been so many opportunities and choices and success. Along with success comes opportunity for failure. You know this. You live in a time when the Church is growing and developing into a well-known and highly respected worldwide religion. In almost any country where you may travel, you will find faithful Latter-day Saints. You will find strong and well-established wards and stakes as well as humble branches and districts. Under the inspired leadership and direction of President Gordon B. Hinckley, we now have 117 operating temples. They dot the land wherever you go. With a temple recommend, you may have the privilege of participating in temple work. I have three messages for you tonight. First, be an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are more than 850,000 young single adult members of the Church between the ages of 18 and 30 in North America alone. You constitute 15% of the total membership of the Church in North America. Now, this number increases by more than 1 million as we consider the many young single adults in other parts of the world. We also reflect on the many young adult members of the Church who are now married and have their families. The Brethren of the Church are saddened and concerned when we lose contact with young single adult members of the Church. We don't know where some of you live. We don't have current addresses for you. We can't be in touch with you to invite you to accept a Church calling and to share in the blessings of the Church, its membership, and to be a full-fledged, participating member of the Church. We know that many of you have completed wonderful, successful missions for the Church. You have distinguished yourself in a most admirable way by declaring the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of the world. You are now home, reestablishing yourself in various educational, employment, and family pursuits. We know that you are a highly mobile society. You move around a lot. You change addresses and phone numbers. You're difficult to locate sometimes. As you establish yourselves in securing a quality education or commencing in your employment and looking forward to marriage, you should always keep in mind your Church activity. Now, I know tonight, as I speak to you, I'm preaching to the choir. Many who need to hear my words are not in attendance. Can I challenge each one of you to think of a friend or associate in the gospel who has become lost to the leaders? Encourage him or her to come back. Encourage these friends to reestablish themselves in the gospel, where they can be participating members of the Church. Now, we know that many of you do not now live with your parents. Some have moved out and live alone or in apartments with other young adults. There are several principles I'd like to share with you that you should follow in this most critical era of your life, no matter where you live or with whom. So long as you remain single, your parents and family continue to have a responsibility for your spiritual care and counsel. Parental responsibility does not end when you move out of the home. You must continue to honor your parents, seek their counsel, keep them informed of your activity, and live in accordance with the gospel standards you know they desire of you. In many cases, where opportunities allow, you may wish to continue to live in your parents' home. If you do so, we encourage you to participate in your conventional home ward. Accept a calling where you may serve the members of your home ward. Many returned missionaries bring back a wonderful spirit that can be shared with youth in Aaronic Priesthood or Young Women in the Sunday School or in Primary and Relief Society callings in the Church. You become a living example to the youth and members of your home ward. It is quite concerning to see active, enthusiastic returned missionaries kind of bounce around and attend various units and meetings on a Sunday when their services could so greatly bless their home ward. If you live in a stake that has a local singles ward, and you choose to do so, then attend that ward regularly and make a concerted effort to bless the members of that ward through your service. If you are not able to remain at home because of education or employment pursuits, then establish yourself in the ward or branch where you are living. Every member of the Church should be known by and be accountable to a bishop or a branch president. There should be a clear line to someone holding priesthood keys. This relationship will provide you with an opportunity to participate in priesthood ordinances, have interviews, secure recommends for the temple where appropriate, and receive callings in the Church. One of our greatest concerns is that many of our young adults have not established themselves in a unit where they know they have a bishop and their bishop knows who they are. If you have two bishops, you have no bishop. If your membership is not in the ward where you attend, you are moving in the direction of becoming lost. If you continue to bounce around in your Sunday church attendance and therefore do not put yourself in a position to accept a call to serve in the Church, you may quickly find yourself becoming lost to your leaders. Local priesthood and auxiliary leaders assist parents in strengthening families. Whether you are living at home or away, your priesthood and auxiliary leaders have the responsibility to assist your parents in helping you. They cannot do this unless they know you and can keep in contact with you. Now, if there are any within the sound of my voice this evening who have not established themselves in a ward or branch and are not known by their bishop or branch president, would you accept my personal and individual challenge that you will immediately correct that matter? Fix your accountability to your priesthood leaders. Sisters, meet and know the Relief Society sisters in your local area. Support the Relief Society transition initiative as you move from young womanhood into Relief Society. Young men, be willing to assume the increased responsibilities and enter into the additional and sacred covenants that occur as you progress from Aaronic Priesthood to Melchizedek Priesthood. Establish yourself with your local elders quorum, and become an active participant. Being privileged to have a Church calling is one of the most wonderful blessings you can enjoy at this stage of your life. You have so much to contribute. Your talents and your skills are essential and necessary to a growing Church. You can help and strengthen the ward and branch where you live. If you are a returned missionary, bring to those members the excitement, the testimony of your mission, so they may feel and desire to emulate that which you have already successfully accomplished. This is also important if you have not yet served a mission. The second message I bring to you today is, take this opportunity as a young adult, whether single or married, to prepare for life. You are in a period of transition where you make choices and decisions. These decisions affect you throughout your life. Most of you have left your teen years. Adulthood is now here. Now is the time to prepare for the future. I have associated with many hundreds and even thousands of college-age students. These include young people who are married or single and who are pursuing an education or commencing employment. I can honestly say, and could share with you many examples tonight that confirm, that what you decide to do with respect to your education and employment and your preparation for marriage as well as Church activity at this time of your life will basically set the pattern for your future. In the scriptures we find several statements that may be of help to you. Jesus Christ said, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." If you can in some way put an overriding umbrella in your decision-making that will put first the things of God, you will have made the right decision. It is so easy to make a decision which seems attractive at the time but which, in the aggregate, leads you away from the kingdom of God. Nothing else in eternity counts if you do not qualify today to return to and live with your Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Always keep in mind the essential doctrines of the gospel in seeking first the kingdom of God. On another occasion the Savior said, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." Now, do you understand that scripture? Do you understand that losing your life in the service of others allows you to find yourself in the kingdom of God? The alternative--being self-centered or looking inward and not participating in helping others or allowing yourself to be in the service of God--often creates the result of losing your life in an eternal sense. As you make decisions affecting your future and prepare for your life yet to be lived, your activity and association in the environment of the Church are most important. As you prepare today for life tomorrow, we encourage you to get a good education and acquire the necessary skills to successfully obtain employment and to rear a family and be a contributing member of society. Now, it costs money to go to school, as you know. Learn how to save money and use what funds are available to you, either through scholarship or family contribution or otherwise. This will help minimize the debt you have when you complete your schooling. Be studious and progressive in securing your education. Fill up your semester hours with productive and important courses so you may expeditiously complete your education and not linger for unnecessary and unprofitable years of schooling when you could otherwise have completed your schooling and be gainfully employed. Now, where you are both securing an education and are married, it will require the very best of decision making between husband and wife to sacrifice and care for your family in such a way that the needs of your family and your employment and education will not be jeopardized. Those of you, single or married, who are not pursuing an education but are employed either full- or part-time, develop a good work ethic. Be productive. Magnify your employment skills. Be loyal to your employer. Seek opportunities for advancement and additional responsibilities. Pay your tithes and offerings. Save some of your income, and develop the habit of thrift and self-reliance. One of the great challenges at this stage of your life is to know how to make decisions with respect to how you spend your money. On a wall of the bank in downtown Salt Lake City is the following quote from President Brigham Young (quote): "If you wish to get rich, save what you get. A fool can earn money; but it takes a wise man to save and dispose of it to his own advantage." (End quote.) There can be a tendency to acquire many toys and things in our society today. There are so many enticing and interesting products that are available. They provide joy and relaxation. They are intriguing, and they seem necessary. The Savior once addressed that situation: "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Be very careful that you do not unwisely surround yourself with physical, temporal playthings that may not be necessary or essential to you at this stage of your life. Many of our young people get off track when they make unwise decisions in these matters. As young married couples, some of you, do not feel that you must immediately emulate and provide for yourself what your parents had when you left their home. In most cases it has taken your parents decades to acquire the lovely furnishings and conveniences of a modern home, and it's simply not practical that you should seek to acquire them as you begin your new family home. I can personally testify that some of the sweetest memories my wife and I have are of when our growing family was living in a small apartment as I was completing law school. We had very few of life's luxuries. For one year our kitchen table was a used card table. A bed was a hand-me-down gift from a friend. With my law books in hand, I went to a nearby laundromat each evening to launder diapers. This was before disposable diapers. We did not have a washing machine or a dryer. We didn't know we were poor because we had each other and the blessings of the gospel. These blessings completely overshadowed the physical possessions we did not have or need at that point of our lives. In discussions of this kind, I'm always drawn to the example of our pioneer forefathers. They had so very little. They sacrificed so much. Their hearts and minds were truly fixed on the important decisions of life. They left their homes and their families. They went west because that is what the prophets counseled. They took so very little with them. They lost so much along the way. In many cases they lost lives and family members through tragedy, starvation, and deprivation. But they knew where they were going. They knew what they had to do to acquire the necessary skills and opportunities to finally establish themselves. As you read of these pioneers, many of whom are your forebears, you should be deeply grateful for the decisions they made. Did it ever occur to that you are the pioneers of your own children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren yet to be born? Your decisions today will affect what your descendants will be in decades to come. Will they look back on your life and draw strength and faith from the decisions you are now making today? The third message I would like to discuss with you today--and it connects with the previous two messages--is, be willing to accept the responsibilities of marriage. Now, I know that there may be some in this audience tonight who sigh deeply and shake their heads as I announce this part of my talk. Some may say, "Here we go again! Everybody's telling me to get married." My desire is not to approach the subject in any way that will offend you. However, I will attempt to teach you the doctrine of the Church as it relates to this important principle. The Brethren of the Church have a very deep and abiding concern that our young single adults know the doctrine of the Church with respect to marriage. Now, what I'm about to discuss with you are not things that are only said at BYU or in our Church schools. These are things that need to be said and understood by the entire Church. All single adults everywhere, anywhere in the world, need to know and understand these truths and principles. The doctrine of the Church with respect to the eternal family is very clear. Let me quote from the Doctrine and Covenants: "Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of [this] world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world. Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory." (End quote.) In simple Dick and Jane language, marriage for time in all eternity is essential for salvation and exaltation. Now, I know there are many factors when opportunity is not afforded in this life which may come into play, and I do not wish to dwell on those exceptions tonight. I would like to have you focus on the essential importance and necessity of eternal marriage as taught in the doctrines of the Church. With this scripture in mind, let me try and analyze, with your patience, what might be some of the factors in life that may have a tendency to delay marriage. Let me list a few ideas. Number 1. To some, there may seem to be less pressure or encouragement of returned missionaries to get married. If that is your understanding, it is based on a false premise. All returned missionaries should be encouraged when they return home to remain active in the Church, secure an education, acquire employment skills, and move in the direction of finding an eternal companion. When the latter occurs, you can continue your schooling and education as a married couple. Number 2. Some young men may be fearful of commitment.

They may not feel they can meet the expectations of some young women. The phrase "high maintenance" is often used to describe those who may give the impression they need more than the other can provide. Proper communication can quickly remove that uncertainty. Number 3. Selfishness. To care only for self can be an easy way out. A style of living that emphasizes this attribute is contrary to the principles of the gospel. Number 4. Career orientation may put marriage in a far lesser role. Marriage and continued education go hand in hand and result in successful marriages. A career or profession without family, where family is possible, is very, very sad and a great tragedy. Number 5. Worldliness. Do not let your life be simply an existence that is fun, thrilling, or selfish. Life is more than an amusement park. Do not be hooked on obtaining possessions. Accept responsibility.

Number 6. Family example may suggest failure in marriage. A negative perception of marriage as a result of family, friends, or media may deter some from marriage. Some say, "Why should I get married when there are so many divorces?" This shows a lack of confidence. The existence of divorce does not mean you cannot have a happy and successful marriage. Don't let the actions of others make your decisions. Some may say, "Elder Tingey, I've seen too much of failure and unhappiness in marriage." I agree. Each case of failure is tragic. Each is sad. You must determine that yours will not be a failure. Number 7. An emphasis on education may completely overshadow the importance of marriage. Now, this excuse is usually related to money or the lack of money. Postponing marriage to the time when all education is completed, debts are paid, money is sufficient to sustain a stylish form of living, is not wise. So much of life together--struggling, adjusting, and learning to cope with life challenges--will be lost. Delaying having children when you can may result in great unhappiness. Number 8. The lack of sufficient financial resources to sustain and support a family may tempt some to delay marriage. For some the frustration of living in a small, inexpensive apartment and not driving a new car every three years is troubling. On that basis, some dislike married life. People with this viewpoint are trying to escape reality, Now, these and many other reasons may result in a delay of marriage. And it's not my purpose or intent tonight to answer each of these objections to your personal satisfaction. I will simply declare the doctrine of the Church with respect to marriage and encourage you to have sufficient faith that you may make a decision to move forward in this most important decision of your life. If I could coin one word that would best describe all the delays to marriage which I previously noted and many others, it would be fear. Fear of the future. Fear of failure. It is not unusual to have fear. Fear can be overcome by preparation. Fear can be overcome by faith. When the Apostles of old feared that a great storm would sink their ship, Christ "arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" Of all the subjects I have heard President Hinckley speak of--and he has addressed many vital and important subjects throughout his lifetime--the one principle that he seems to incorporate in all of his talks is the principle of faith. The Apostle Paul taught, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." How can I help you replace some of your fears with respect to marriage with faith? Money or the lack of it may be an overriding fear many may have that would tend to delay marriage. Remember the story of the young man who approached the Savior, the young rich man, and asked, "Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, [and] that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. He said unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. The young man [said] unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth ...: what lack I yet? Jesus said to him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions." One of life's greatest challenges and blessings is to start off having little of life's physical possessions but working toward succeeding in all your dreams and your goals. There isn't any other way to do it. Be willing to start with modest surroundings, and grow into a successful couple you would like to become. The fear of having insufficient money can be overcome with that kind of faith and works. Present Heber J. Grant once taught: "We can hide the blessings of the Lord by clinging too firmly to the things of this world. We can sacrifice eternal riches--dollars for copper cents, so to speak." (End quote.) I can honestly say, in my generation and among my siblings and friends, when the opportunity to marry came--to marry the right person--the challenges, both economic and otherwise, of continued education became secondary to the all-important decision to marry the right person. Now, many of you young adults have already made that decision and are moving forward with your lives--not having all the conveniences of toys and games that you might otherwise have, but you're moving forward in an eternal plan and under a divine pattern that fulfills the eternal destiny this Church offers to all members. Now, it is my personal experience that the ultimate, lasting relationships in life are associated with family more than friends. How quickly your closest high school friends, who for a season you could not possibly live without, seem to diminish and be lost as you move forward in life. At the time, they were important and needed, but most become lost in our mobile society. Even in colleges and universities, we find our close friendships and associations become less frequent as we move into permanent employment and begin to establish our families. The most important and lasting of all relationships, I believe, is the family. This family is the extension of your parents and grandparents, your siblings, and your children yet to be born. Now, if there were any way I could take you single adults from your current single estate and help you imagine what the future might be in an ideal marriage, I would attempt to do so. Several months ago, Sister Tingey and I, who have four children and 21 grandchildren, had a granddaughter sleepover.

On an agreed-upon evening, and preceded by an attractive announcement sent to each granddaughter, we had five of our granddaughters who live nearby come to our home. They were ages 6 to 14. They are the closest of friends and cousins. We had a wonderful meal prepared by Sister Tingey, and the granddaughters did some crafts, once again prepared by my wife. Afterwards we played their favorite games, and then they presented a talent show for Grandpa and Grandma. In the course of the talent show, they sang several favorite Primary songs, adapted to grandparents. You will remember the songs. "It's always fun when Grandpa comes. When Grandpa comes, hurray! He always says the kindest things and in the kindest way. He has a winkly-twinkly smile; he's happy all the day. It's always fun for everyone when Grandpa comes." Now, they changed one line of that song and had great fun in doing it. Instead of singing, "He's happy all the day," they sang, "And yes, his hair is gray." Which of course I could not deny. The second song they sang was, "I'm so glad when Grandpa comes home, glad as I can be; clap my hands and shout for joy, then climb upon his knee, put my arms around his neck, [and] hug him tight like this, pat his [cheek and] give him what? A great big kiss." As they sang the latter song, I had five granddaughters on my lap, arms around my neck, patting my cheeks and giving me great big kisses.

This is what it's all about. This is the gospel. This completely overshadows all physical possessions and toys and things that cost money. This is family. This is the gospel. As the evening concluded, we watched a video together, had prayers, and slept. In the morning we enjoyed a breakfast together, more fun and games, and then I took them home. And as we left the house and drove to their homes, they said, "Grandpa, Grandma, this is the best time we have ever had together. When can we do it again?" Unless you can understand what your future holds with respect to those kinds of relationships, it will be difficult for you to make wise and good decisions affecting your future. Family is everything. It completely overshadows all other relationships and decisions. Now, I'm realistic to know that not all will marry in this life. The Lord's plan provides for that. The wonderful story of Ruth in the Old Testament is a sweet, sweet story of a sister who lost her husband and who devoted her life to her mother-in-law, Naomi, rather than pursue her own individual goals. Ruth was single, but she remained devoted to family and to God. Ruth's response to her mother-in-law when Naomi encouraged her to move forward with her life is a great faith-promoting testimony of what some sisters and some brethren will endure. "And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and [where] thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God." As you remember, later in life Ruth met Boaz, and they were married, and they became a link in the chain of the ancestry of Jesus Christ.

Now in conclusion, following personal prayer and fasting, I have shared with you tonight several matters that are of great concern to the leaders of the Church. I've spoken plainly. I trust I have offended no one. I have spoken with the knowledge that you are the great promise and future of the Church. How we love you; how we honor you; how we trust you. I have encouraged you to always be active in the Church. Don't get lost. Establish yourself in a ward. Be willing to serve in a calling and share in building up the Church. Honor your parents by seeking their counsel and being the type of person they pray you will be. Be accountable to one bishop. Participate in your priesthood quorums and Relief Society meetings. Enjoy the blessings of continually making covenants with your Heavenly Father. I have also encouraged you to prepare today for life tomorrow. Secure a quality education. Secure a skill that will permit you to enjoy good employment. Select your life's employment and work hard. Be careful in the acquisition and use of money. Learn how to save for the future. Be careful that you do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, "where moth and rust doth corrupt." True happiness does not come from the acquisition and possession of toys and things. Lastly, with the certitude of truth and personal conviction, I have shared with you the doctrine of the Church as it relates to a willingness to accept the responsibilities of marriage. I have not told you to get married. I have simply encouraged you to be willing to accept the responsibilities of marriage when that opportunity comes in your life. I briefly discussed the doctrine of the Church and the many challenges which may delay marriage. Ponder these thoughts in your own mind. Pray about them. Know that your Heavenly Father will bless you and will replace fear with faith if you call upon Him. Family is the heart and soul of the gospel. Through family, we progress into the eternities. Whatever challenges arise in this life, they are necessary and important if they lead to family and eternal marriage. I humbly bear my witness and testimony to you that being sealed for time and all eternity in the temple of the Lord and living faithfully thereafter will bring the ultimate joy and rejoicing that are the promise of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I bear this testimony and witness to you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. Amen.