Two Brothers Two is the continuing story of Sam and Luke and their two younger brothers, Tommy and Joseph, 5,000 days in the making. Watch Sam, Luke, Tommy, and Joseph negotiate the journey of adolescence on the road to young adulthood. While they don't have it all, they do have each other. And this is their story. And it was so frustrating. You try and contact somebody, and you worked for three months at the MTC to say, "How are you? What is your name?" And they're just like, "What are you saying?" I was like, "This is great. This is my favorite scripture." I shared the wrong scripture. And it was like, "If you don't keep my commandments, you're going to be damned and thrust down to hell." And I was sharing it so enthusiastically. Like "Here, just read this. It's great. Just trust me, this is a really good scripture." "You know what that is?" I was like, "No." He's like, "That's coagulated pig blood." We were sitting there teaching, and we just heard smack, smack, smack, followed by screams. We go over and it's [INAUDIBLE], like, a 12-year-old kid. He's got sores and splits all along his arm. What happened is, I went and I grabbed him like this. Elder Nelson ripped out the tool he was using to beat his kid with. We got [INAUDIBLE], brought him to a member's house, and just made sure he could sit there and just sit there for the night. I just try to imagine that kid's life. He's just had that his whole life. I think I feel like all I can do is just teach the doctrine, teach about families. And it makes your purpose seem a lot deeper than a baptismal statistic.

OK, so we go to this one inactive, and his name's [INAUDIBLE]. I see him as we're driving up, and she's like, "Oh, sorry. He's not here." I start speaking kind of loud. "Tell [INAUDIBLE] if you see him that we'd love to meet with him." And all of a sudden, he came out from the corner. I hate when people hide from us. I don't understand why they do. Yeah, sure, we're annoying. And we just want to share the gospel. I've lost so much weight in the last few weeks. I've had really bad stomach problems. Kind of a rough day yesterday. Actually, really rough. We had scheduled nine appointments, and five of them canceled on us. The branch president comes up to me and goes, "Oh, we need you to speak today." I was like, "OK, I'll do it." All right, game time. I think I said [INAUDIBLE] wrong. Everyone just started laughing like it was the funniest thing that they'd ever heard.

Every person we meet with makes fun of me. And I don't know what they're saying, so I just sit there and smile. And they just laugh even harder when they see that I'm smiling. Everybody just keeps laughing. They go, "Man, you don't know Khmai at all. Wow, you garbage missionary." I'm like, "Well, thanks. I know that. You don't have to tell me that." You come on a mission to invite other people to come to Christ. I'm just not doing that yet. I'm trying. God knows I'm trying. Since I've been here, I've just kind of been worn down by everything that's happened in the culture and everything. I just need a friend. All I've got is this video camera. [LAUGHS] This is an experience on the mission that everyone talks about, makes you stronger. But I just wonder, how much more can they pile on to try and make me stronger?

So we are riding our bikes, and all of a sudden, we just hear this honking. All I can remember is just seeing this blue object enter into my vision, going super fast. Takes out my companion. He flips around. His shoe falls off, he's flying so fast. And then Elder Jorgenson gets hit as well, and he flies literally five feet in the air. And I look down, and all I see are just bodies. And literally, the first thought that came to my mind was "Elder Nielsen just died." All of a sudden, through the dust, through the mangled mess of everything, Elder Jorgenson and Elder Nielsen are just standing there. And I just look down, and I just see this mangled mess. And there's three unconscious bodies just lying there. There's one lady, and her eyes are just open, and she's just staring up like this. And there's another guy. He had a big helmet on, but he had a big gash on his head. He was just laying there, just completely not moving at all, and his hands just stuck like this. And looking down at those bodies, just the blood just coming from their bodies, and just these Cambodians that we just love so much are just laying there. My overwhelming feeling after today was, I just want to wake up one morning and not feel tired, not feel sick. I love being a missionary, but I'll be honest. Right now I just feel like a worthless missionary. I'm trying so hard every day. I wake up, I say my prayers, I'm like, "Please help me fulfill my purpose to my potential today." And all these elders in this mission, they see me in my movie. They see that, "Oh, this guy must be cocky. This guy"--whenever I do anything nice, they're like, "Man, quit sucking up." I honestly just want to serve. I want to serve the mission president. I want to serve my Savior Jesus Christ. I'm just scared. And I'm just out here, and I miss my family. [SNIFFLING] I don't know. I just feel like I got a lot of things bottled up inside. And I don't keep a journal, and I'm scared to show any weakness. I'm super prideful in that way. I just feel like I'm never good enough. I can never be good enough to be that missionary that everybody wants me to be. I just know how to work hard, and that's what I want to do. And I don't know what else I can do. I just feel worthless. I feel like I'm wasting my Savior's time.

I was really trying to understand Khmais. So I tried everything to be like a Khmai. I grew out my fingernail till it was this long. I wore a krama. I cooked Khmai food. Ate a lot of Khmai food. Slept on the ground for two and half months. And so I was doing all these things, and nothing was really working. By a week later, I just started getting the worst stomach pains. I was losing weight, and I was always hungry. So I go to the hospital, and they tell me I have a pretty severe case of a tapeworm. So I started taking these pills, and it's taking a while. It was either Christmas or Christmas Eve. I start getting really, really hungry. And it's Sunday, so I can't buy anything. I'm hungry. And I'm going to bed hungry, and I'm going to wake up hungry. And this is miserable, and there's nothing I can do. The next day, I pointed at Elder Lyman and I was like, "You know what? From now on, I will not go hungry. The rest of my life I will not spend a day hungry." I was like, "This is a new resolution." And so we go out, and we get our little rice with pork in it in the morning. I need this. I'm excited. This is my rice. This is my rice. This is no one else's rice. And I got off and I just saw this, a little old, old Cambodian man. He's sitting at the foot of the bus, just begging. He's begging just for a little 100 dollar--Khmai dollars. It's like two and a half cents. It's just for anything he's begging. And his son's sitting there. And his son's dirty on his face. And it hit me. I was like, "I wonder what he ate last night? I wonder if he went to bed hungry last night?" I start to look around, and I looked at all the Cambodians around me. And I started to look in their eyes. I'm like, "I wonder if he went to bed hungry last night? I wonder, for the last month, if he's gone to bed full one time?" And so I go and I sit there with my rice. And I sit there, and I eat a bite of it. And my companion's still excited. He's like, "Yeah! You're eating your rice now!" I ate a spoon of it. And I set it down. I'm just like, "I can't eat this." When I was getting back on the bus, I just kneeled down and I gave him my rice. And his son opened it up and just started eating it really fast 'cause he was so hungry. I remember sitting on the bus, and I was still a little bit hungry from the night before. But I felt so, so good. And I felt like, "You know what? I helped that. For today, for Christmas, this man, he had breakfast and he was full for a day." I was hungry for one night. It wasn't anything big. It was one night in my entire life that I felt like I went to bed hungry. And it's at that point, I think the Lord was showing me that me coming from America, it doesn't matter how hard I try. No matter what I do, I will not know what they feel like. But the Savior does.

I think it was the best Christmas gift I could have ever gotten. There are some things I cannot do, but the Savior can. And I remember Elder Nelson and I talking one day, and he's like, "You know what? I don't care if people laugh at me anymore. I don't care what people think about me. I'm going to do what it takes to learn the language." I started making weekly goals. Like, this week I'm going to learn how to pray really clear so that at least when they ask me to pray, they can understand. Like my brother said before, when you start to love people, it really helps you teach them. In the state of Cambodia, I am having my first baptism. And he started learning with us. And the progression just from rock bottom, just drunk, just that's the only way he could deal with what he's going through-- to start loving his children, to start loving his wife, to start leading a family, to eventually be baptized. I feel like just in the last year, I've really found myself. I've been an obedient missionary for two years. I've helped a lot of people. I just really miss my brothers. I'm just really excited to hang out with Sam and Tommy and Joseph.