I think depression's a really hard thing to try to describe.

You just feel like you're alone, that no one can understand, no one can see, no one can help you out of where you are, because they just don't get it at all. And anything anyone says can't possibly be helpful or anything, because they can't understand the depth of the feeling.

I think that if you accept where you are, that then you have the opportunity to start to deal with things and to work through them. I often will carry a stuffed animal, a blanket, a coloring book, something that is kind of a support, a barrier, a little helping hand to be able to help me handle things. Sure, I get weird looks at times because of it, but it's a tool I've learned to use to be able to deal with people and things that would otherwise be too scary for me to handle. Prayer is the best thing in the world.

If you have the faith, it's a way to have someone there who can listen no matter what's going on, no matter where you are. When no one else can be there, there's always prayer. You can't wait for the light to come on. You have to step into the dark room and find the light switch. So you have to find enough trust to take that step and to try things, even though when you're in depression or you've got a lot of things going on, you think there's no way that the things that people tell you will help. There's just no way because they don't understand. They don't understand at all where you're at and how it feels. But if you can just trust and try a little bit, take that little step into the darkness, and trust that the light's going to come on once you step in, then it just starts to work out. When the light comes on, it's just an unbelievable experience. I always tell my kids that people have the saying that life isn't fair. And I always tell them life is fair, but life doesn't end when our mortal life ends. Life's eternal, and the fair part comes after. This is the hard part. This is the test. This is the trial, and the balance comes after.

God knows every one of us, and there are little things every day that just show and help us to know those things. And a lot of people look at them as coincidences, but I know and I trust that it's little blessings from our Heavenly Father to show how much He cares and that He understands and that He's always there. My biggest challenge right now is probably being able to interact with people. I love the Relief Society general meetings when they say, "We're a big organization. We're all included." And I have a feeling that I want to be included. I want to be a part of everything, but because of the things that I've been through, it's so hard for me to interact and talk with people and to be able to be as I wish I could. I think that understanding the Atonement and what our Savior has been through, it just makes you not feel like you're totally alone. If you can really believe that He has felt those things Himself, then it's just not--it can be really lonely, and you can feel like you're the only one. But if you trust that He has felt those things and been able to make things better, that--when I went through abuse and things, I never doubted that my Savior was there and that He cared about me. And I've felt His arms around me many times, and I wouldn't have made it through without that.