We're hearing people saying things like, through the grace of God and through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that they were able to feel healing. And I thought, "Why can't I feel that?" I guess I was just expecting it to heal me without any, really, effort or faith on my part. I always tried to be good. And I always went to church and read my scriptures and did all my Young Women things to get my Young Women medallion. I was trying. And I just felt cheated. Just like if you had the flu, Heavenly Father wouldn't expect you to just pray to get better and expect it to get better. He would say, "OK, go to the doctor. Get your antibiotics, or stay laying down. Drink lots of fluids." You have to do the things that are required to get better. [MUSIC PLAYING]

The thing that has made the biggest difference to me is talking to people. I started telling more and more of my close friends. I got to the point where I felt like I could tell my mom. And I wasn't just out there saying, "Hey, everybody, guess what?" But I would approach certain individuals that I felt like I could trust and had a deep connection with. And not a single time did they tell me that I was disgusting or tell me that I was an awful person. When someone who loves you hears that, they're not going to say mean things to you. They're going to ask how they can help. And the more people that I talked to, the more comfortable I felt talking about it, and the more love I felt, and the more places I could turn to if I was having those negative feelings. Along with talking about it to my therapist and talking to my friends and my family, it's just made all the difference. I had to decide to get honest. I decided to get honest. And in doing so, I discovered that all of these lies that I had been told from the dark side--about "If you get honest, you're going to lose"--I discovered that that was not true. When I got honest, there were consequences, but those consequences didn't mean you're going to lose everything. It means that you're going to have work to do. The first thing I tried was, we started going to 12-step groups. My dad would actually come with me. It was extremely uncomfortable at first, and I wouldn't say anything. I just sat there and listened to other people. I thought it was stupid. Eventually, in one of those groups, I finally decided to say something and kind of broke through. And that's when my desire to go through recovery started. By being honest with myself and saying, "Hey, I can't overcome these, I can't overcome this addiction," it forced me or it led me to rely on the merits of Jesus Christ. I started to become more honest with myself. Then I started to think, "I'm not as good as I thought I was." And by breaking that down, I realized that I needed God. And so I started praying with more intent, more earnestly, and I felt God come closer. So I started recovery three years ago, and I started talking to my bishop. At that time, I started reading the scriptures and I started praying. And as I started to recover, and talking to my bishop again, he mentioned more things that I should do--going to the temple, being present with my kids instead of ignoring them. And I started doing all these things, and that's when I started finding recovery.