You feel like, "What's wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? Why--why is what I have to offer not enough?" It just was this cycle of, "I'm not good enough. I'm too heavy. I'm too ugly. I'm not capable." You know, there were so many things that I just felt like I was broken. That's the only way that I could explain it to somebody. I started in that relationship with really high levels of self-esteem, self-worth, as a happy person, and I left completely hollowed out. I was tired and ugly.

I know many women in my experience. They may have come into the marriage with courage and confidence and, in a few years, have lost some of that confidence in themselves.

As I'm referring to a sister in a relationship where the husband may be involved in viewing pornographic materials, her own heartache and the tragedy of what's taking place in her life may cause her to feel a despair that she may equate with unworthiness to participate in the ordinance of the sacrament or to be in the temple. As she honors her covenants and as she is doing her best to keep the commandments, she is worthy to be in the temple. She is worthy to participate in the ordinance of the sacrament. My favorite story in the Book of Mormon is the story of the Jaredites. They hop in these boats and they start traveling, and they're being tossed about by this wind, this really strong wind that keeps coming. And sometimes they're buried up in the water, and it's terrifying for them. They're scared. But there's a line, there's a line in the scriptures, and it just says that the wind continually blew them towards the promised land. And if I had to describe the role of pornography in my life, that would be it. It wasn't my choice to bring it into my life, but at the same time, the same wind that has been so strong and just felt like it's been pounding me has blown me towards the promised land. And the Jaredites weren't people who were being punished by being sent to the promised land; they weren't being punished for their journey. They were being sent to the promised land because they were worthy to do so and that they would have better things ahead. "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; [and] when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." As we keep our covenants, He's bound. That's how we attach ourselves to our Savior Jesus Christ and draw on the power of the Atonement. We may not be able to control anybody else's covenant keeping, but we can keep our own. And that can strengthen our family. The answer is to have an intimate connection with our Father in Heaven and to put our Savior as our center. I must understand who I really am. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father, who loves me. The Atonement of the Savior is what has helped me survive. That's the only thing. Where the strength of my own self-worth comes from is from my relationship with the Lord and understanding that He put me on the earth for a purpose. And I'm His daughter, and I'm--I'm worth something. I feel God's love. I feel God's mercy, forgiveness, peace, joy, and I cannot doubt that that power is real. Every single time. I've done it for three years. Every single time. I'm in awe of His love. I had this experience in the bishop's office during a temple recommend interview, and I could answer all the right yes's and no's. And then I got to the last question: "Do you think you're worthy?" And I felt just this feeling of love and light just wash over me. And I looked at the bishop, and I said, "Yeah." And he said, "Did you feel that?" And I said, "Yeah." And he said, "I did, too." The Atonement of Jesus Christ is everything for me right now. It means I can be whole again. It means I'm complete. I'm not worthless.