Oh, my gosh, he treated me better than I ever really even thought was possible, and we were just that couple. All my friends were so jealous. He's just the biggest sweetheart. I was recovering from a miscarriage, so I was at home, and he had gone to church to teach my lesson for me because I'm not feeling well.

And I went to put it away, and I just felt--I don't know that I heard the words, but I felt, "Open it." I was like, "I don't need to open that." And I went to walk away, and I stopped in my tracks. And it was like, "Open it."

"OK. OK." So I open it, and it was a bank record for a bank that we don't bank with.

I texted my husband and I said, "Hey, can you come home as soon as you're done?" I had to wait for 20 minutes, and I just sat there and was like, I could feel--I describe it as having the bottom fall out. I could feel the bottom falling out.

So he came home, and I said, "What's this?" And he said it was an overdraft fee. So I said, "What is this?" He said, "Oh, I took care of it." I was like, "Took care of what? What bank is this?" "Oh, I took care of it. Don't worry about it." I was like, "No, what is this?" I don't know why I was so--I guess, pushy with it. I could just feel it. I knew when I was told to open that envelope that there was something there. Then he admitted to "Yes, I've started viewing pornography again." And he just started sobbing. And I was like, "Hey, we can work through this. We can work through this. You've been honest." So I said, "We probably need to talk to a bishop," which is the ecclesiastical leader, "about this problem." So he made an appointment that day.

We went in together, and my husband just said, "I've been viewing pornography, and I've been lying about it." And the bishop said, "Is there anything else?"

My husband started sobbing, and the bishop turned to me and said, "Can you give us a minute?" Could you give us a minute?

What is the next step from pornography? What more is there? And I think I knew at that point he had cheated.

I'm going to let him talk to you.

So he sat in the car, and he said, "For the past four years, I've started viewing pornography again. And I found massage places that will provide happy endings, and some of those resulted in sex. So that's what I was using that account for." And I remember gasping for air. I could not breathe. I just said, "Take me home. Take me home."

That night he stayed with another family member. I didn't sleep at all. Actually, I was praying the entire night. I was begging Heavenly Father to take me from this earth because I couldn't go through what I was about to go through. I have never felt more alone, but knowing that I could reach out in prayer and knowing that I had a Savior, who was truly the only person who understood the betrayal, the hurt--that was probably the only thing that got me through that night.

When people would ask me, "Are you staying or leaving?"--I have to heal before I can even make a life-changing decision like that. There was no way me, of myself, could handle the information and that I could move forward without the help of my Heavenly Father and my Savior. There was a lot of tension, and I had a lot of anger. So I was learning anger isn't, certainly, not doing him any good, and it's certainly not helping me heal. When he'd get home from work, I'd say, "Let's get the garbage out." So we just started talking like that because it was just like this--I mean, it's just garbage. I don't want to hear it, but I need to. So that's where I came up with "garbage minute." And we put some boundaries around that to try and help. So for garbage minute, you're not hungry, you're not in a hurry, you're in a good place, whatever that means to you. Just eliminating any outside influences that could make a hard conversation harder. We do have boundaries. If he lies to me, then it's 30 days' separation. So I think that speaks for what's the real issue here, and it's--I mean, most wives are going to tell you it's the honesty. It's the hiding.

One of the biggest things that have evolved, too, with the communication is, before, I would hear him tell me of temptations and struggles, and I would try and walk him through, "OK, what can you do next time? How can you help that?" And now it's been really interesting to see him come home and say, "Man, I had this trigger, but I learned a new boundary. I think I need to be doing this before I drive past that billboard, or maybe I need to take a ride home." He's walking himself through it, and that has been huge, seeing him take ownership in his own safety and recovery. And he wants to maintain that. And I don't know, that has been huge, seeing that.