I don't think I have ever felt so lost and afraid and unworthy of Heavenly Father's love for me. And most importantly, I felt so ashamed before God, and my prayers, my communication with Him, dwindled. And it became more about me saying over and over again, "Heavenly Father, I'm sorry that I'm not perfect. I'm sorry that I'm not perfect."

When we talk about guilt, we want them to put it into perspective. And I might set it up by saying something like, "Have you ever broken something?" And they might say, "Yes, I've broken my leg." And I'll say, "Well, what did you feel?" They would say, "Well, pain." "Well, what was the purpose of the pain?" "It caused me to recognize I had an injury and to let it heal."

Now, I don't want the pain to be so bad that you go into a coma or that you go into shock. If you were having surgery, I might give you something to help with the pain. But ultimately, the pain is good. In like manner, we feel guilt, and guilt is to the soul what pain is to that leg. It's a recognition that God has given us that we're off His sacred path, and we feel guilt. But guilt needs to be put in perspective and used for the purpose it was intended. So I usually take them to Alma 42, where Alma is teaching his son. And he teaches them some great doctrine about repentance, some of it very hard and difficult doctrine. He starts out in verse 27: "Therefore, O my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the waters ... freely; and whosoever will not come ... is not compelled to come; but in the last [days] it [will] be restored unto him according to his deeds." So there's responsibility; you get to come. You have your agency. But agency is always tied to responsibility. "If he has desired to do evil, and has not repented in his days, behold, evil shall be done unto him, according to the restoration of God." So we don't look past the fact that God is a loving God, but He does have expectations of us. But now this verse that I love: "And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, ... only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance." Here a loving father, prophet-father, is putting in context the purpose of this guilt. The purpose we feel estranged is to get us motivated to turn our heart back to God. And this is where these teachings from the scriptures, to me, are very powerful. I'd been home from my mission probably five months. And at that point, I'd stopped reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, going to the temple. And I was done, and I just felt like, "I can't do this anymore. If this is what enduring to the end means, count me out." And I remember I was really, really, really mad at God, like, spitting mad. And so I knelt down, and I just swore at God. I got back into my bed, and I felt so much love. I had never felt that much love. I felt His arms encircle me, and I felt Him say to me, "Finally, finally, you're telling me how you really feel." And that was a changing moment for me, where I realized that God didn't want my lies. He didn't want my trite prayers of "I'm sorry that I wasn't perfect today, but you know I'll try harder tomorrow." He wanted "God, I can't do this anymore. I'm mad at you. Why did you do this to me?" And then He wanted to hear my sorrows and "Where were you? I was so alone. I had no one else. Why did you forsake me? Why didn't you take care of me? I did everything right." And that transitioned to "Help me. Show me, what do I do now?" And I felt the healing power of the Atonement in my life, and I started to feel my heart heal. And I started to realize that the Atonement is real and that God, He wants us to be open with Him. He wants us to tell Him the truth, and that He doesn't want us to pretend like we're OK when we're not. He doesn't want us to try harder. He wants us to turn to Him sooner. Our divine identity as sons and daughters of God, that we are His children. He wants us to reach out to Him, and He doesn't turn any of His children away. There really isn't anything that we can do that would deny us of His love if we will just turn to Him. And that's why prayer is so important, because in many instances, that's the first step. But it requires the humility and the faith and the obedience to fall on our knees and to begin that prayer and to plead. And when we're pleading to Heavenly Father for the strength to overcome a bad habit or to change our thought processes or to even know what to do to be able to make changes in our lives, we're more inclined to act on that and say, "OK, I've prayed for that. Now what's my part? I'm going to do what I need to do to make that change." It becomes a powerful way for the Spirit to teach the individual what it is they can do, to assist them with the challenges that they're facing, and He does listen.