I still was telling myself, "Well, OK, you've already repented of this. You just messed up again, but now you're done again. You're just going to move on. And you're done." And I was terrified she was going to find out, because there was nothing I could do to hide it. So it was still very, very self-centered. And then I thought, "OK, well, it's going to be better if I tell her than if she comes to me about it." So then I told her. But I didn't tell her everything. I just kind of half-truthed it. And she turned to me and said, "I don't think you feel remorse for this." And I knew she was right. So I said, "Well, I think I do, but maybe I don't. So I'll pray about it." So I knelt down, and I prayed.

And I talked to God sincerely, and He helped me to finally see that my actions were hurting people. And for the first time in the whole repentance process, I felt real remorse at that point. And so I told her, "You're right. I haven't felt remorse. And I didn't tell you the truth. I've been lying to you." We met and spoke with the bishop again, began working in the 12-step program and going to group meetings for support in that. And that was the beginning of true repentance and real recovery.

One of the things I have learned is that you've got to invoke the Holy Ghost and the spirit of revelation in this process. And it's not the revelation of the leader. It's their revelation. If I'm talking to someone who has struggled with pornography for some time, they don't feel worthy that they can get revelation. They feel broken. They feel evil. First thing I do is, I establish the fact that God loves them and that He will speak to them, and they just need to learn to listen to the right voice. And as we try to empower them with that revelation process, then the Lord will start to reveal to them how they can navigate through their plan or be able to identify how to overcome this. So it's not a textbook or a one-size-fits-all. It is by personal revelation. What is a truth or a statement that when you say it, it just--because that's how the Savior is. Truth and light cast the darkness away. And as you create this plan, this opportunity with them, they basically have the tools that they can go home and say, "I can survive now. You've allowed me to get through the dark night. You've allowed me to get through the anxiety that just overcomes me because I can't breathe." And I've just found that's the truth. You bring in that beautiful freedom of truth. For the first time I was allowing us to be partners in marriage, because I was talking openly about everything. Everything. If I was driving down the street and I took a second glance, I had to come home and talk to her about it--not because she said, "If you take a second glance, you better come home and tell me about it," but because I wanted to. I wanted to have that openness. And because that was happening, our relationship has begun to change. As we put off the natural man and become "a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord," we become "[meek, submissive], humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things ... even as a child doth submit to his father." Our submissiveness is an invitation for that enabling power, the cleansing that comes through the Savior's Atonement. And that's the ultimate source of spiritual healing. We have to take advantage of that blessing. We have to invite it into our life. He will never push it into our lives. So our submission is the first step that leads to humility so that that blessing can have its full effect in our life.