I didn't think I would ever be happy again. I thought that if we stayed married, that we would just be one of those fake couples, pretending to be happy on the outside and just being miserable on the inside. It was so heavy and so exhausting to even think about how to dig ourselves out of this hole. I started in our relationship with really high levels of self-esteem, self-worth, as a happy person. And I left completely hollowed out. [MUSIC PLAYING] I was really into this--the digging. I wanted to dig it all out. I wanted to discover it all. And I had this overwhelming prompting, and the Holy Ghost just said, "Stop. You know enough." If I live in the past, I am a woman that is a victim--betrayed and angry, resentful. I don't like to even think about being that kind of woman. And so I just--I chose to fight it. And I chose to research it and to find a way out and to seek recovery for myself. I have been through a lot of counseling, participated in groups and activities designed to help women find healing. And I changed the way I lived. I put safety precautions in place. I became very aware of what my weaknesses were. And I reached out for help. I have been able to live in peace and serenity and joy. The power for a better and happier future really is in my hands. And I know that on the other side of this problem are better things. And I don't need to ask, "Why me?" He sent me on this journey because He knows I can withstand it. He knows that I can learn from it and I can grow stronger from it. And it is the most efficient means to help me to become like Him and to help me to return home to Him. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Forgiveness is a gift that--between me and God to help me find peace in my own life. But trust is earned. And he is earning my trust one day at a time, because it was broken. It was nonexistent. And I am learning to trust, one day at a time. That sometimes might sound like, "Oh, that's not very joyful." No, really, it can be very joyful. We've grown immensely. And we've become such--our marriage is just so much better. It sounds so crazy to say that, but it really is. We talked to each other about the things that needed to happen before this addiction came into light, but we didn't sit down and discuss our innermost, deepest feelings together. We just--we're not that type of people, I guess, and we didn't do that. And now we have to do that. I used to feel like I can't help anyone else until I've arrived, until I've arrived to this place where, "OK, I'm good now." But when do you ever get there? You know, it's a journey. When it comes right down to it, there is not a single thing that my husband being a pornography addict can do to affect my eternal salvation unless I choose to let it. And so there are definitely times when the temptations are strong, or these doubts and thoughts come that aren't pleasant. But when I focus on the eternal things that I can control--my own agency and my own salvation--there is not a single thing that anybody else can do that changes that. [MUSIC PLAYING]