I feel like all that I did was pray. The first person I talked to was actually our home teacher's wife. She was actually my visiting teacher as well. After her husband and my husband had talked and said that they had this thing in common, then she sent me a message and said, "I want to talk to you. You know, you've been married a long time. You know how to deal with this." And we did talk, and it was a lot of saying, "Me too. Me too. Me too." As I was talking to her, I just thought, "This isn't going to help. This isn't solving the problem. He needs to be better; then I will be better. Talking about it won't do anything." But weeks after, I just felt so much better. I actually felt lighter. And someone actually knew, and nothing--the world didn't come to an end. Nothing exploded.

It's important for wives to get support as they go through this process with their husbands. And knowing who would be a good and safe person to talk to is really important. A wife can often benefit by counseling with her bishop and then also by prayerfully considering one or two or several trusted friends who have good judgment, who don't jump to conclusions, who are wise, who care about her well-being, and who can offer good insight and counsel and keep confidences. I think it really helps a spouse to have a group of people who give them unconditional love and acceptance, people that they can talk to, that they can trust. And so if you have that support system, it can take away that loneliness and that isolation. I never knew for decades how important it was to have someone in my life who understood what I was going through. Not only from an outsider perspective, like, "Oh, that must be so hard. Oh, dear." No, from a "Yes, I've been there, and I'm still working on it." And that perspective has been a tool that has changed my life and thousands of other women. That person needs to know how it feels, and they also need to know how it feels to recover. And just through our little networking and things, we found another sister in our ward who had never talked to anyone about it. And she and I became really close friends, and we still talk about the effects and how we're feeling. And it's incredibly helpful even when you think it's not going to be helpful. This is such a sensitive issue when pornography is ravaging homes. We want to keep it quiet because we're embarrassed; we're ashamed. We feel, again, as if it's our fault. But when we have shared it with someone or when someone is aware, I think the compassion in our hearts, on the other end of it--we can think, "What if their story were my story? What would I want someone to do for me to show compassion, to show understanding? How can I help strengthen a sister?" Take it to our knees. Take it to our Heavenly Father. "How can I be an instrument in Thy hands, Father, to help this sister who is struggling?" Just be there to be a shoulder to cry on, to be what she needs to be. Just be a sister.