SISTER GONG: Dear sisters and brothers, We—Gerrit and I—are really grateful and delighted to be with you today. We want to thank the people who did the music, Rebecca and Evan—that was pure testimony and we

we envy your children and the lullabies they will hear growing up. That was really beautiful.

Will you give us a couple of minutes to get to know you?

We've got a few questions and if you'd just show by raise of hands. How many of you are attending BYU Women's Conference for the very first time?

Wow.

Is there anyone here who attended the very first Women's Conference in 1976?

Look at this!

That's great.

Who was able to attend and enjoyed the Evening of Entertainment concert last night? [SCATTERED CHEERS]

Okay. Who came from east of the Mississippi? [SINGLE CHEER]

West of the Mississippi? [LAUGHTER]

A country other than the United States? [CHEERING]

Great.

ELDER GONG: Sometimes "nudge" and "fudge" go together. [LAUGHTER]

Who has felt "nudged to fudge,"

as in,

irresistibly drawn to BYU fudge or chocolate while here? [LAUGHTER]

Anyone proud of "fudging the nudge"? [LAUGHTER]

As in, resisting the chocolate temptation? [LAUGHTER]

SISTER GONG: That is classic dad humor. [LAUGHTER]

Sister Sandy Rogers, in her 16th year of ably chairing the Women's Conference here— [APPLAUSE]

she shared with us that there were 20 Women's Conference local humanitarian service projects this year.

They included cutting fleece blankets, assembling birthday bags for underprivileged children, and assembling meal packets. Who in here participated in this year's humanitarian service projects?

That's really great.

It's said that a picture is worth a thousand words, and we have a couple of photos to share with you from this year's Women's Conference. So we have a picture of friends from across the world,

cousins who attend Women's Conference together,

sisters who've come to Women's Conference, missionary companions,

college roommates, friends that met at Women's Conference, [LAUGHTER]

and those who love serving together.

ELDER GONG: This feels a little like speaking at general conference;

you feel the love and prayers of those sitting in front of you

and the love and prayers of those sitting behind you.

We recognize our Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary general presidencies.

Each a general Church officer,

these nine remarkable sister leaders bless the whole Church.

We miss Sister Jean B. Bingham, who is representing the Church, as you know,

at the White House National Day of Prayer.

SISTER GONG: We also recognize BYU President Kevin Worthen and Sister Peggy Worthen, his wife. Our Women's Conference chair, Sandy Rogers. And our BYU President's Council colleagues and their companions.

We acknowledge our Women's Conference Committee— they do so much work. And many friends and colleagues across the BYU campus.

He's abandoned me.

Sometimes I call him Elder Gone. [LAUGHTER]

[ CLEARS THROAT]

We wish that we could talk to each of you to learn what it is that you have experienced and felt and discovered over these last two days. Wonderful things happen when righteous, faithful, open-to-the-Spirit women gather. Because of what we've learned here, we will be different.

We take away a sure sense of God's love for us and that gives us strength to do what is most important and special:

the small and simple things we do to lift, serve, and minister to one another.

The change from visiting teaching to ministering in a higher and holier way invites us to think more deeply about the new commandment that the Savior gave his disciples: "As I have loved you, love one another." I want to share three observations about what it might mean to love as Jesus loves. First, Jesus knows the heart of every daughter or son of God.

In the New Testament, we see that He understands the essential

nature of every person He meets. He knows Nathanael is a man without guile. He knows Nicodemus, that Pharisee who sneaks in in the middle of the night,

is truly seeking to understand.

And from the beginning, He understands that Peter—impetuous, hopeful, vulnerable, two-steps-forward-one-step-back Peter—has it within him to lead the Church, else why would Christ, on their very first medium, give him the name Cephas, meaning "the rock"?

Christ knows the heart of the Samaritan woman.

"Well hast thou said, I have no husband,

for thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou hast now is not thy husband."

Those words must have been spoken with incredible tenderness because they evoke such a humble response,

perhaps one full of wonder. "Sir, I see thou are a prophet."

He knows the hearts of his persecutors: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

There is healing,

there is hope

in just being known, just being understood.

Now perhaps you instinctively know the hearts of those you minister to. Perhaps you have that incredible gift of discernment. I do not.

So if I am to love as Jesus would love, what do I need to do?

I need to learn to listen. When Elder Gong and I lived in Hong Kong, our apartment was located on one of the busiest streets in one of the busiest cities in the world, and it was often hard to hear Gerrit unless we stood face to face. And one day in frustration he said, "Sweetheart, when we're next in Salt Lake, would you please have your hearing tested?"

So I obligingly visited an audiologist who, after testing my hearing, proclaimed, "Mrs. Gong, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is, your hearing is perfect.

The bad news is, that may mean you have a listening problem.

And there's not much I can do about that." [LAUGHTER]

So I'm on notice: I need to learn to listen better. I need to put down my

my electronic devices. I need to shut out the distractions and turn off that little voice in my head that's constantly reminding me of all the things on my to-do list.

And then listen with my heart to understand not just what someone is saying, but who it is I'm really talking to, a child of God. I need to listen for that.

I'm discovering that listening means not just hearing

the other person, but listening to the Holy Ghost as well.

The Holy Ghost helps us ask inspired questions that lead us to greater understanding.

A second observation from the scriptures about how Jesus loves us

is that compassion always accompanies Christ's understanding of our hearts. He has compassion on the blind, on the widow of Nain, on lepers, on the brother of Jared, on one possessed of a devil, and multiple times He has compassion on multitudes. From the cross He voices compassion for Mary, his mother.

Surely it is through His compassion that He hath borne our grief.

Compassion is at the heart of Christ's parables: the parable of the debtor, the good Samaritan, the father of the prodigal son all exhibit compassion. For most of us, compassion requires imagination and intention.

In our spheres of ministering, we can strive to feel how it really feels to wrangle adorable and demanding preschoolers day in and day out; how it feels to be a divorced mom, reentering the workforce after many years;

how it feels to be ninety and alone;

how it feels to be the returning prodigal;

how it feels to have been abandoned or abused; to have received a diagnosis of cancer; to have lost a child to illness;

to have lost a child to the world.

As Christians we are called upon to feel the pain of others. And in this we truly bear one another's burdens. When we have compassion,

true empathy, something wondrous happens. We begin to know how to help. And this is my third observation about how Jesus loves: having taken upon Himself our infirmities, He knows how to succor us, having felt our fear, our want, our loneliness, our hunger, our hurt.

He responds to our specific needs.

He comforts, supplies, feeds, heels, nurtures, teaches, and blesses us.

Like the good Samaritan, when Christ finds us suffering, He has compassion on us, He comes to us,

He binds our wounds and brings us to the inn and cares for us.

And the Church is the inn where we, like the innkeeper, are called upon to minister to each other until the Master returns.

Know the heart. Feel compassion. Bless.

This is the Savior's pattern of ministering, and it can be ours. I recently lost a dear friend who lived by this pattern. At her funeral, her daughter said, "My mother was good at everything important and special.

She wanted everyone to have their story known. She paid notice in the most significant ways. How can you give up on yourself when your mom is this most profound person who sees you as you are and still believes in you?"

Another eulogy described this dear Christlike sister like this: "She was the giver of thoughtful gifts, the rescuer of stranded souls,

a healer of broken hearts, a polisher of tarnished halos.

She was the kind of person who always held the mirror at the most flattering angle.

A woman of substance. She was observant of human need. Her response to suffering was always to ease the burden. Hers was love unfeigned."

As I hear the prophet call us to a higher, holier form of ministry, I think of my friend.

We are being asked to love as she loved, to be good at what is special and important.

But where do we get the patience and insight and imagination and courage and strength to love like this?

In December, I had the blessing of attending the Salt Lake Temple with a recently endowed friend,

a sister I've known since elementary school. Life has presented her with many challenges, and her connection with the Church has been tenuous at times, though I believe she's always had a spark of the gospel in her heart.

As we walked the corridors of that magnificent temple,

she stopped at every painting of the Savior and reached toward it.

Then she bowed her head and touched her heart.

In the celestial room, she prayed fervently.

Having finally come to the house of the Lord, she was in no hurry to leave.

On our way home, we walked through a bookstore, each of us browsing different sections, and then coming up behind me, she whispered, "Susan, you've gotta see this.

Someone has painted a picture of me."

We rounded a corner and she pointed to this beautiful image created by Brian Kershisnik,

"That's me!" she exclaimed. "That's just how I feel. Loved. Blessed."

Sisters, I testify that because we are loved with the matchless bounty of the Savior's love, with the infinite love of our Heavenly Father, through their love we can come to understand one another, have compassion for one another, and bless one another in every way that's important and special.

We love Him because He first loved us. Because He loves us,

we can learn to love and minister to one another. The Holy Ghost will help us know how.

This glorious gospel is true.

It is powerful, it is beautiful, and it is important. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.