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It's been so hard to watch my little girl suffer. As much as I wish I could keep her forever, I'm ready for her to go to a state of rest. On February 9, 2007, my family was hit by a drunk teenage driver. And killed in that accident was my wife, Michelle, who was expecting our fifth child; and then my second-oldest son, Benjamin; and my only daughter, Anna. I saw a pair of headlights coming at me at an incredibly fast rate of speed. And I tried to do some maneuvers to get out of the way. It was too late. When I walked into the hospital, they took me to the room where they were working on his body.

And when I got in there, my wife put her arm around me. They announced that he'd passed away. It was like our perfect world, our perfect life all of a sudden had come crashing down on us. They say that grief is heavy, and it is true. It feels like a huge burden that's on you, and you just can't get out of it by yourself. [MUSIC PLAYING]

To be able to turn to music and to express how I'm feeling and my emotions in that time, so I wrote this song In My Heart in memory of my little sister Holly who passed away from cancer. (SINGING) I remember all the times we laughed. I remember all the times we cried. I have memories of you and me together, memories that I'll always have inside. The sun came out. It was just making me sad every time, and I just couldn't spend the time out there. So asking just a few friends if they would be willing to come over and rake up some leaves and pull the weeds that were growing. And that's the best thing about it. It started with a little text. But as soon as the word got out, everyone's all, "please let me know how I can help." There's a bit of a helplessness, I think, when you watch somebody that you love suffer, and there's nothing you can do to take it away. And I think Heidi showed me that you just show up, and you just listen. And you just say I love you. I had a sense that I had to pick myself up and keep moving forward. I still had two boys that were depending on me to be a father. And it has been incredibly difficult to have to learn those lessons in the way that I've learned them. And as I look at my ability now to have patience, and as I especially look at my ability to have empathy--with those who are lonely, with those who have had loss--I realize now that I am much more capable to reach out and to serve in a way that I could not do before February 9: nurture and minister with authenticity. Couple weeks, two to three weeks after Austen passed away, John Manning called me and said he was going to pick me up for basketball. I didn't want to go. But my wife and I had made that agreement that anyone who invited us to do anything, we were going to go do it. So John picked me up at 5:15. And we were in the car, and I just talked about what I was experiencing, what I was learning, feelings I was having. And he just listened. We were in a very difficult emotional state at that moment, but we knew that we needed help. We really needed to rely on our Heavenly Father, our Savior Jesus Christ. We needed to have that connection. It's, I think, a healing process, at least for me. We need to be able to grieve. Even in those hardest times, you can find happiness, I really believe. And I don't just believe it. I've seen it in my life. I mean, we have dealt with very difficult things these past few years and in the same moment have felt huge amounts of joy. And so to be able to contrast those and appreciate the joy, appreciate the beauty and the good in life--everything's so much more vibrant. There's so much more color in our life. And I've really learned through this experience that if someone else is going through a major tragedy, a major trial, don't stay away. Don't just give them their space; love them, be there for them, listen to them. [MUSIC PLAYING]

Go to ComeuntoChrist.org/grief for more resources, including where to find a supportive community and how Jesus Christ can help during trying times. [MUSIC PLAYING]