[MUSIC PLAYING]
Warm heartfelt greetings to all of you who are joining us for the 2020 BYU Women's Conference digital event. My name is Sandra Rogers, BYU International Vice President and Chair of this year's conference. We love you and are so pleased and grateful that through the magnificent efforts of the Women's Conference staff in BYU Continuing Education, our friends at BYUtv and Church Publishing Services, we can gather virtually across various time zones and geographic locations. We share our faith, hope, and charity with you, and add our prayers to the many that are being offered to stem the tide of the COVID-19 pandemic. You and your families are in our hearts. We thank BYU President Kevin J Worthen for his steady support and encouragement. We express our gratitude for Sister Jean B. Bingham and her counselors and their inspired direction and friendship. We appreciate the care and contributions of Sister Bonnie H. Cordon and Sister Joy D. Jones and their counselors. And we thank the Women's Conference Committee and the many wonderful presenters, including those who are speaking in our broadcast today and those who were originally invited to speak at the conference on campus. We also express our thanks to Julie Rogers for creating the beautiful artwork that so eloquently depicts our theme, gather all safely in Christ. We will begin our time together with an opening prayer by Jeanne Burgon, a member of the BYU Women's Conference Committee. Then I will have the opportunity to share some thoughts with you. Following my remarks, we will hear a musical testimony, "Someday He Will Come," sung by Lita Little Giddins, also a member of the Women's Conference Committee. The words and music are by Staci Peters and Tyler Castleton, and Tyler is the accompanist. After the musical number, we will hear from Kate Holbrook, who will speak on the topic of the continuing Restoration and the gathering of Israel. Sister Holbrook is a managing historian in the Church History department. She is a leading voice in the study of Latter-day Saint women and their faith and the practice of everyday religion. She has degrees from BYU, the Harvard Divinity School, and Boston University. She and her husband Samuel Brown are raising three daughters in Salt Lake City. Please read more about her on the Women's Conference page. And now the opening prayer.
Our beloved Father in Heaven. We are so grateful for the opportunity of meeting together this morning at BYU Women's Conference. Under these unusual circumstances, we are so grateful for the efforts of so many who have worked to prepare this conference. We acknowledge those who plan to attend whose expectations are not currently being met, but we thank these so very much for the technology that makes this morning's meeting possible. And we ask that you please to bless those who are managing that technology, and please bless those who will be presenting and making this gathering possible. We are so grateful to know that the Spirit experiences no limitations by distance or any other means, and pray that He will be with each one who participates, who presents, who listens, that all may be edified through this experience. We are very grateful for the blessing of meeting under the direction of priesthood authority, and we thank Thee for the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ that makes it possible. We ask Thy blessings to please be with President Nelson and all those who serve with him. We are also grateful for individual priesthood power that blesses each of us through personal faithfulness and the keeping of covenants. Again, we thank Thee for those who have prepared for this morning. We ask Thee to please bless them with clarity of thought, with fluency of speech, with peace of mind and heart, that they will be able to present with the assistance of the Spirit the messages that we know that they have prepared with the assistance of the Spirit. We pray that each person listening will be able to receive the messages intended individually. Please help them to know that Thy plan is for them personally. With all of our hearts we thank Thee for the Atonement of Thy Son. We are grateful for its infinite power, its infinite scope, and its infinite individuality. Again, we thank Thee for the Spirit and ask Thee to help us to listen with mind and heart, according to Thy will and with His guidance. We offer this prayer expressing our love and gratitude, in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, amen.
President Nelson has called upon the women of the Church to assist in the gathering of Heavenly Father's children on both sides of the veil to Christ in preparation for His glorious Second Coming. Every priesthood key, every covenant with its associated priesthood power, every spiritual gift, especially the companionship of the Holy Ghost, and every revelation has prepared and will yet prepare every needful thing for this last hour of work in the Lord's vineyard. How do we in a time of disruption, change, and challenge gather all safely in Christ? We know the answer Jesus gave to the lawyer who asked Him to name the greatest commandment. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." If all the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments, certainly the gathering of scattered Israel does as well. "Come, follow me" is the Savior's invitation to walk His covenant path. The first effort in gathering all safely in Christ is to bring ourselves to Him. As we draw near to Him in trust and obedience, we learn to love Him. We love Him when we have enough faith to make sacred covenants with Him. Our love for Him grows as we faithfully make every effort to keep those covenants. Though we do not fully comprehend how the miracle takes place, we realize that we can only be made clean and whole through His mercy, His grace, and His charity. We recognize with sublime gratitude that He binds up our broken heart and frees us from all things that held us captive. Neither pain, abuse, intolerance, loss, sin, sickness, disappointment, affliction, temptation, or death are beyond His reach. Our increasing faith and hope in Him casts out our fear, and we are enabled by His power to have a disposition to do good continually. These uncertain times have taxed our souls. We are separated from others, unable to show the same close affection and care to grandchildren, elderly parents, the ill, friends, or neighbors. We face economic difficulties. Our social sacrifices mean that we have experienced losses we can't mourn in traditional ways, and births and milestones we can't celebrate as we would like. We have taken on even more responsibilities which have stretched us to the extremes of our elasticity, but not to the end of our faith. I believe the Lord sees our cares and will give us strength as we climb this 2020 version of a pioneer rocky ridge. If there are blessings from this pandemic--and I believe there are many blessings that come because, as Paul promised, "all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord." Has home become a holy place, as we gratefully worship there? Has renewing our covenants become a more sacred and meaningful experience? Do we pray more frequently and deliberately? Are we learning what is eternally important for us and our loved ones, and beginning to make adjustments in our habits? Has our testimony of His latter-day marvelous work and a wonder been lighted or reignited by general conference? Are we turning to God more because the things that were displacing Him in our lives have lost their allure? Are we looking forward with great anticipation to gathering with each other again? Have we committed to enjoy temple blessings more when the temples are open? I join with many of you in bearing testimony that blessings have come in this season of trial and testing, blessings that are preparing us for a more consecrated effort to gather all in Christ. Just as relevant is the blessing of receiving the Holy Ghost with new purpose and renewed gratitude. The gift of the Holy Ghost is one of the great necessities in the continuing Restoration of all things, for the Church and for each of us. The Holy Ghost is a revelator, a comforter, guide, and He is a purifier. The power of the Holy Ghost leads us to understand and live the gospel. The Holy Ghost tutors us in how to hear and love the Savior and to become like Him. The Holy Ghost also teaches us even in these restricted times how to love our brothers and sisters, our neighbors, people we have never met, and even those who may be antagonistic to us because we love the Lord first. When we are fully obedient to the first commandment, we cannot help but obey the second. President Eyring taught that when we feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, we also feel our natures are being changed because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Quote, "[The pure love of Christ] is a gift we are promised when the Atonement of Jesus Christ has worked in us. . . . And when we feel our desire for people is moving toward being in line with His, that is one of the ways that we can know that we are being purified," end quote. This process makes it possible for us to engage in the work of the gathering with all the power and great glory promised the covenant people of the lamb. Joseph Smith taught, "A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race." Through the gift of Christ's love and His power, and as He labors with us through the companionship of the Holy Ghost, we can follow the Savior's example in gathering others to Him. He was patient and forgiving with those who struggled. He welcomed those outside the acceptable social groups of that day. He listened to honest, seeking questions and taught saving doctrine with kindness. He had compassion for those who suffered. He reproved with loving gentleness. He gathered the people in the Americas to Him as He allowed them to feel the prints of the nails in His hands and His feet one by one. We gather people to Christ when we have His image in our countenances, when their faith in Him can take root and grow because they feel His love mercy, and compassion through us. As He explained to Peter, "When thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." While doing research in Nigeria, I visited a destitute home. I didn't speak their language, but the struggles of poverty and illness were written in the lines on the parents' faces. My colleagues said they had last eaten the day before our visit. The father sent a child on an errand.
He returned to offer me a warm bottle of Fanta soda on a rusty tray. How could I possibly drink it in front of that hungry family? The father turned away my protest, saying it was his tribal duty to provide refreshment for a guest, and begged me not to diminish his self-worth and identity by refusing his gift. I took a sip, and then with his permission gave the rest to the children, and I sobbed quietly during the rest of the visit. As we left the home, my beloved colleague told me the mother had said, "I never believed a white woman would visit my house. I also never believed a white woman would cry for me. If a white woman can cry for a black woman, maybe there is some hope in the world." Now, I know that I'm not the best example of a Christlike countenance, and I also know that crying is not enough if I am going to keep my baptismal promise to bear one another's burdens and mourn with those who mourn. But she was right. Crying for each other is a beginning. We know that Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden into the lone and dreary world. When I was young, it seemed that artists painted Adam and Eve being cast out to northern Arizona. I loved my Arizona home, and wondered why it was portrayed as the lone and dreary world. I had a great revelation when I saw a painting by Minerva Teichert. Her inspired artistry showed the lone and dreary world for what it really is. It is not a geographic location at all. It is the proud and selfish condition of people's hearts. The lone and dreary world exists wherever the two great commandments have no influence on the hearts and minds of people. Christ calls us with love out of the lone and dreary world. He asks us to work with Him together others out of the lone and dreary world this one last time. Let us come to Him, love Him, and labor for Him with heart, mind, and strength. May we receive the Holy Ghost who testifies of Christ and who will show us how to bring the Father's ransomed children home as Christ does with love and tenderness. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
[MUSIC--"SOMEDAY HE WILL COME"]
(SINGING) Someday He will come, sure as we live and breathe. One day every man and woman living on the earth will see His face.
Someday.
Someday He will come, sure as the seasons change. He will call the children to Him. He will bless the souls of every race. Someday.
When He comes the world will melt away. Earthly things will slip right through our hands, leaving just our hearts to stand before Him, just our lives to speak for what we've done, what we've become.
Someday He will come, sure as the end of day. When I humbly bow before Him, will He find me worthy of His mercy and His grace. I will speak of Him with every breath. I will seek His spirit all my days. Everything I am, I will surrender, just to know Him when this life is done, when He comes.
I will speak of Him with every breath. I will seek His Spirit all my days. Everything I am, I will surrender just to know Him when this life is done. When He comes some day.
When Joseph Smith went to the woods to pray one spring day, he was not yet a prophet. At that point, he was a boy who read his Bible and sought earnestly for the gospel.
He felt eager to know God's will. Some important messages come from the First Vision.
One of them is that family, status, education, wealth, and maturity are not the things God takes into account when deciding whom to speak with. You know this already. But let's just think about the beauty of that for a moment. Not only does it not matter where your parents went to college. It doesn't matter whether they went to college or whether they can read. And those things don't matter about you either. Are you out of money? Not relevant. Do you share a bed with your siblings? Doesn't matter. This is good news for those who throughout history often had less access to institutional religious authority. For many women in the world, for example, interaction with God has felt out of reach because it was associated most often with men and priestly office. But the First Vision and the restored gospel provide a balance to that. Joseph Smith was in his early teens when he prayed and he wasn't ordained to any priesthood. Instead, he was a person who learned from the scriptures and had enough faith to pray and ask for answers. We do that too, although we aren't called by God to restore the fulness of the gospel, God does call us and teach us to be more effective, wise, and loving, more like our parents in heaven. In addition to teaching that you don't have to be important or successful in the world for God to talk to you, the First Vision teaches us that God loves Jesus, responded to a boy's prayer, and forgave that boy's sins. But there is also a lot that the First Vision does not teach us. For example, it does not teach us about Relief Society, priesthood power, baptism, or temple ordinances. It does not teach us how often God will answer prayers or in what form. One major lesson the First Vision does teach about revelation is that it is not the same thing as an instruction manual. Revelation is more like a treasure map. My daughter drew this treasure map for me and explained that x marked the treasure and there were mountains, an oasis, and things in the lower left and upper right corners that might be trees, or they might be something scary from a children's book. Revelation can be slow, spotty, and take a while to figure out. In the words that I first heard from sister Sharon Eubank, revelation is a process. I have found that when you stick with it, you can find treasure. Joseph Smith told people about the treasure of his First Vision several times during his lifetime, and I'm really grateful for that. Sometimes a historian has only one source to rely on to try to figure out what happened. But Joseph Smith gave us more than one way to understand. He described the experience differently at different times because he was in front of different audiences and wanted to emphasize what mattered for each of those audiences. Just as I tell an anecdote in one way to my adult friends, another way to my children, and still another way during a Gospel Doctrine class, depending on how I understand the needs of each audience. But I also think Joseph Smith described his sacred experience differently at different times, because his understanding of what happened increased over time. The more experience he had and the more skill he acquired in receiving and interpreting revelation, the more he understood what had happened that morning in the grove. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints founding meeting took place 10 years after the First Vision. When it takes a long time for an initial revelation to bear actual fruit, some of us can start to doubt our interpretation of the revelation. And while it's good to be prayerfully open to the possibility that we have misunderstood something, it's also important to remember that revelation is a process and takes time. My study of Church history has taught me that our leaders have pursued their planning and decision making, quote, "by study and also by faith," end quote. Revelation study and faith all interweave in the process. It may seem as though President Nelson announced a lot of fast changes once he became our prophet, but in fact, many of those changes had been under consideration for a long time, for years. Church leaders had studied what those changes would look like, and in cases such as to our church and the new achievement programs for youth, they did pilot programs to test them. In short, they had been counseling together and praying about many of these changes for years. The 1978 revelation to restore and extend temple blessings and priesthood blessings for black Church members is a particularly moving example of important revelation taking a great deal of time, thought, and internal struggle. I don't understand why it took so long, but I do know that when it finally came, the members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve were united in their rejoicing. I'll now share two examples from Church history showing how revelation is a process and essential to the continuing Restoration of the Church. Living in Farmington Utah, 43-year-old Aurelia Spencer Rodgers noticed a problem. She's the one in front in the image you can see. The boys were rowdy, inconsiderate, and apparently not grounded in the gospel that their elders had sacrificed security, comfort, and relationships to preserve. Remarkably, as Sister Rogers looked for solutions to this problem, God whispered to her His approval and encouragement. So she pursued her solutions, which have enriched Latter-day Saint lives around the world ever since. First, Aurelia Rogers shared her ideas with Eliza R. Snow and other female leaders who liked them, and described them to acting Church President John Taylor. Soon she had a mandate to gather the children in Farmington and to figure out how an organization for them should function. Looking back, she later described how she felt after accepting the calling. Quote, "While thinking over what was to be done for the best good of the children, I seem to be carried away in the spirit. Or at least I experienced a feeling of untold happiness which lasted three days and nights. During that time nothing could worry or irritate me. If my little ones were fretful or the work went wrong, I had patience, could control in kindness, and manage my household affairs easily," end quote. But those joyous feelings were not permanent. While planning and working for the children, she began to feel unworthy and depressed, so much that she had trouble fulfilling her responsibilities. Open quote, "I went to my meetings weeping by the way, being humbled to the very earth, so much so that whatever anyone said afterward in my praise did not make me feel exalted or lifted up in my own mind," close quote. Nonetheless, she went on to found what we now call the Primary organization. Maybe you wonder, as I have, why she experienced this dark sadness while doing important work. Shouldn't acting on revelation and being on the Lord's errand feel endlessly blissful? Shouldn't it keep negative feelings at bay? That would only be true if Eve and Adam had not eaten that special fruit. In real life, acting on revelation is not a promise that we will feel inspired all the time. We did not come to Earth for easy. Being embodied is not easy and working with other people is not easy. But these are two of the major reasons we are here, to have the experience of inhabiting a mortal body, and to work with and serve other people. My middle daughter has recently learned to drive. In her driver's education class, she drove a simulator machine before sitting behind the wheel of a real car. The real car is much harder to drive. The stakes are so much higher. On the simulator machine, if you run a stop sign, it will tell you that you made a mistake and make you start a new round. In real life, if you run a stop sign, you could severely injure another person. Driving a real car is dangerous, but it's also the only way to really learn. Living in a body is also dangerous. People, disease, gravity, and our own clumsiness hurt us. They can kill us. Or they can wound us in ways that feel even harder than death. But there are lessons that only our bodies can teach us. Our bodies can also be sources of great joy. For me this has included the feeling of exercise, making my muscles stronger and my balance more sure. Physical joy has included the experience of cooking, which is a great source of pleasure to me, a satisfying creative art, and a way to serve others. My body also helps me to express and receive affection, hugs and kisses from loved ones, but even hugs from people who aren't in my closest circle. Maybe you, like me, feel more aware of embodiment's joys, now that the COVID-19 virus has taken some of them temporarily away. We learned from the sorrows of embodiment as well as from the joys. Our mortal experience also means that a veil separates us from the presence of God. Although we can receive revelation, we also sometimes ignore or misinterpret it. Just as for Aurelia Rogers, acting on revelation did not yield uninterrupted happiness. Acting on revelation does not promise that all the support we need will fall into place. Ardeth Kapp, whom you may remember as Young Women General President during the 1980s, had experience with this. Sister Kapp was well-prepared when she was called as president. She had already worked as a teacher and a consultant, worked on the Church Youth Correlation Committee and served in a Young Women General Presidency. Immediately after accepting this calling, she began to receive revelation. She wrote in her journal, open quote, "It seems to me the heavens are opening and thoughts, directions, spiritual promptings are coming fast and clear." Even at that early time, she felt the organization needed a charter statement and a goal system that was based on values. But it took three years of focused effort before the Young Women theme and values were fully created and announced, and five years until the values-based Personal Progress manual came out. Collaboration, execution, and further revelation took time. So did getting approvals. Sister Kapp was very good at counseling with others. She called capable people to her board and they worked collaboratively together. Elder Bednar has taught that different members of a council have different pieces of revelation, and you need each person's input in order for the whole vision to come together. Open quote, "The contributions of all of the council members add elements to the inspiration," closed quote, he has taught. Former members of Sister Kapp's board have told me that she was gifted at drawing out the people on her councils. But effective collaboration takes time. The program changes Sister Kapp oversaw were complicated and getting the details right was slow. There were delays, repetitive extra labor, and other frustrations. For the new Personal Progress Program, she called a committee of women and men, most of the married to each other, and they worked together for two years. Furthermore, Sister Kapp was president during a time when female officers of the Church no longer interacted much with the First Presidency as they previously had. And they did not serve on high Church committees, such as the Priesthood and Family Executive Committee, as they do now. The resulting communication gaps also required extra time and work. But the result was programs that effectively nurtured the young women of the Church for over 30 years. Not only were the programs good, but all of the people with whom she had counseled understood them well and could help to explain, implement, and in other ways support the new changes. Sister Kapp's example motivates me, because even when discouraged, she continued to counsel with others, exercise faith, fast, pray, and work hard. When I read about her experiences, I feel the Spirit testify that she acted on revelation and that God magnified her considerable native talents through collaboration with other people. If we don't continue to pursue the Lord's guidance, particularly when we encounter difficulties or frustrations, then we might overlook inspired solutions and fail to fix problems. We and others may not learn what the Lord invites us to learn. Now I'm going to shift from talking about others revelations to talking about our own, especially how our revelations can help us better be better at helping others. I have a quotation near my desk to remind me that good thinking and good work take time and careful study. The words are from Simone Weil, a French philosopher who thought a lot about right and wrong, and who went to great personal sacrifice to live in the ways she thought were morally right. Weil taught, "All wrong translations, all absurdities in geometry problems, all clumsiness of style, and all faulty connection of ideas, all such things are due to the fact that thought has seized upon some idea too hastily, and being thus prematurely blocked, is not open to truth," closed quote. To make ourselves feel less vulnerable, we humans like to define things. We often grab onto a definition quickly, because having the definition makes us feel comfortable and safe. As Weil suggests, the problem with the speed is that we can reach a wrong conclusion. I believe this too quickly finding and holding tight to a potentially false definition is what leads to some of our greatest sins against one another, such as bigotry, which rears its ugly head in every nation and every political party as we misunderstand each other's intentions and lash out in response. Excessive speed can also mean we teach a false principle and a lesson, or argue on social media in a way that treats someone unfairly.
On the other hand, not everything needs to take a long time. Perfectionism can keep us from ever getting anything done. Burying a simple testimony, studying the scriptures with another person, reaching out in ministry. These can be part of our process instead of a perfect end. They can be imperfect. Prayers can be imperfect. We can be imperfect. In fact, in this life, we try to improve, but we can't help but make mistakes. We will not be perfect in receiving revelation either because it is a process. When perfectionism threatens to halt progress, my husband quotes those wise words attributed to Voltaire, open quote, "The perfect is the enemy of the good," closed quote. What he means to say is that perfectionism can paralyze us and prevent us from accomplishing the good that can simply result from trying.
I'd like to acknowledge how painful it can feel when you don't feel adept at receiving and understanding revelation. There are valiant souls among us who obey and seek, who strive to do everything right, yet struggle with this. That situation can be upsetting. They can feel unworthy, although they are not, isolated from God and from other members of the Church. I have mourned that even Mother Teresa, a devout and tremendous example of service and spiritual wisdom, felt for long periods that God was distant. In one case, she asked someone she trusted to pray for her that she would do God's will when she herself couldn't hear God's will. Open quote, "The silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear. I want you to pray for me, that I let Him have a free hand," closed quote.
So what do we do if we don't feel we receive answers to our prayers? Some people I admire deeply fall into this category, and I have learned from observing them. First, they recognize that some of us have an easier time receiving and understanding revelation than others. Other gifts come more naturally to them. And the gifts they do have, they use to serve others. Next, they acknowledge that all the goodness that comes from Church--they acknowledge all the goodness that comes from Church participation. They see the beautiful lives and relationships it fosters. They trust in its goodness. They continue to serve, pray, fast, and read their scriptures, even when they do not have strong spiritual feelings. Finally, they are humble. They remember the moments when they have felt the influence of divine power, however slight. Instead of stomping their feet that they don't have more, they appreciate what they do have. I also want to add a note of hope here. When they served in their respective Relief Society General Presidencies, both Sheri Dew and Julie Beck taught that revelation is a skill we can develop. I believe that is true. I have watched a friend who doesn't believe that he has the gift of personal revelation, but generously serves anyway. I see thoughts come to him with increasing frequency to act in a particular way. He has learned to trust those thoughts, even if he can't be sure that they are a personal revelation. He acts in faith, and comes closer to God as a result. His life and those of many others have been enriched by his willingness to try. Another friend wrote to me. "I do not experience revelations as feelings of comfort or certainty," she said, "and only rarely as insights or answers that come to my mind." However, I have had vivid experiences upon meeting particular individuals in which a strong impression is conveyed to my heart that I am responsible for offering them love, care, and fellowship. Those moments are powerful and the impressions persistent, and I have come to recognize them as revelations. These paths I've just described are not my own. One of the great treasures of my life is the gift of personal revelation. Even so, this gift waxes and wanes. Some weeks I receive insights to remember and act on during several of my prayers. Some weeks I do not. Sometimes I receive less because I ask vague questions or I fail to listen. Other times I don't ask or listen well, and I receive direction anyway. And then are periods when God needs me to work things out on my own. In all of these stages, I know that where I fall short, I can repent, and God will forgive and also compensate others for my blunders. I trust that God is the architect of the final picture. As my friend Darl Huell says, "These are only battles. God's already won the war."
By virtue of our membership in Relief Society, we are called to instruct, inspire, and heal. How could God not want to communicate with us when God needs us to do this work? Not all of us have the skills to easily understand revelation, but I believe even those of us who struggle with personal revelation can grow closer to God in the process of doing good work. Now, let's spend some time on the relationship of revelation to the gathering of Israel. President Nelson has been encouraging the youth and us to participate in the gathering of Israel. To my mind, the gathering of Israel means a blessing for the whole world, as well as for Church members and potential Church members. Early members of Relief Society believed that when, in the name of God, Joseph Smith turned the key to women, he made possible things like the Seneca Falls Convention, which was the first Women's Rights convention in the United States. They believed when he turned that key and promised, quote, "And this society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time. This is the beginning of better days," unquote, that conditions would improve for women throughout the world, not only for themselves. When I first learned they believed that, I thought it was quaint and sweet. But as I've grown in understanding, I've come to agree with them. In a similar way, I believe that the better we become as saints, the more we can bless people outside of our Church, as well as those within. And we can be open to things, the good things people outside of the Church have to teach us. Passages written by the Book of Mormon prophet Nephi have helped me to imagine more about what the gathering of Israel looks like. Nephi describes this time from the perspective of mortals. Open quote, "He gathered His children from the four corners of the earth, and He numbereth His sheep and they know Him. And there shall be one fold and one shepherd, and He shall feed His sheep. And in Him, they shall find pasture," closed quote. I love the image here of all of us from every part of the earth finding pasture together, under one perfect, all loving shepherd. There is a pasture I love which I visit every summer. Horses and cows graze there and deer. The sky, mountains, meadow, trees, and streams are beautiful. The air is clear. The animals have all that they need, and they are safe there. To have all of us in a safe and beautiful place where we are known, seen, and cared for, I want to be in that place. And I want to help others find it. Revelation is crucial to the gathering of Israel. Seeking God's will, both as it comes through our leaders and to us individually is the way we can find pasture and help others to do so as well. Building bridges with people from countries outside the one I was born in, especially but not exclusively when I was a missionary in Russia, has been one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. Watching God's love through the Holy Ghost transcend linguistic and cultural barriers fills me with hope. That miracle makes me think that every good thing is possible. It strengthens my faith in Nephi's words that come just a few verses later than those I already read, where he foresees that for those people who repent, all nations, kindred, tongues, and people shall dwell safely in the Holy One of Israel. I long to see all of us dwell safely in the Holy One of Israel, and that promise motivates me to pursue revelation so I can contribute to this process and help more of us to the pasture of Jesus.
In some ways, the way we tell history has misled us about how revelation works. There was a long period in American history where we came to think of useful history as that history that gave us people to venerate. We learned to tell histories that only included the admirable. This affected the way we often told church histories as well. We made it tidier, the people simpler and easier to understand than they really were. The records themselves can be untidy. We at the Church History department are trying to tell stories of real people in all their complexity and acknowledge the moments when things did not go perfectly. In doing so, we are recovering a more whole understanding of past events. Some people welcome this shift. For others, it creates painful challenges. Despite the pain of this transition, which I feel sorry about, I believe it is the right thing to do. Only a few hours after the Church was organized, God commanded us to keep a record. God didn't tell Church leaders only to record the easy times or members actions that were clearly 100% correct. Since humans are involved in history, that would have made for a short record. I find Church history inspiring because I see the love of God in it, over and over. And I also see people who have the love of God in them and people who are resourceful. Church history puts real stories in my heart, like the story of my great great great great grandmother, whose husband left her repeatedly, and then finally for good, but who raised children across the plains and served as chair of the Female Council of Health in early Utah history, where she shared a recipe for medicine that had come to her through a vision. Church history includes the story of her descendant, my dad, who made good choices and bad choices. Instead of giving in entirely to bad choices at times when they were adding up, part of him kept trying to make good choices. He made awkward phone calls to me once or twice a year. His priesthood and temple privileges were restored around the time of his death. The flame of my own courage is strengthened when I think of the courage it took for him to pursue those reinstatement and to place those phone calls to the daughter he had abandoned when she was six weeks old. For all of the mistakes he made, I feel to honor him for the hard things that he did right. His is not a tidy story. But in addition to forewarning me, it does also inspire me.
Adopting a view of revelation as a process requires patience and hope. By definition, hope is something we have despite negative past experience or evidence that points to the contrary. Hope is something we choose. When you feel acutely one of the world's problems, you can spend all of your energy in anger and criticism, or you can study, pray, and choose to hope in the solution that comes, your role as part of the solution. Criticism is vital to good thinking, but I believe we must balance it with hope and with positive action. We can hold that hope out in front of us to light our way and to light the way of others. This image has been meaningful to me for a long time. When I was in the Missionary Training Center, my friend Laura cut it out of a catalog, mounted on foam core, and mailed it to me. I took it with me everywhere. A year or two after I returned, my friend Emily found a larger version and asked her artist husband to frame it for me for Christmas. I have displayed it in my home ever since. Note all of the things strapped to her body so that she doesn't drop them. One of them is a baby. One of them is a rope. One of them is a musical instrument. I wonder whether that candle is the reason she can fly. Imagine yourselves as this woman. What is strapped to your body? To mine is strapped three daughters and a husband, but they also help me, so maybe we're all attached to each other by ropes extending out. I carry along a pen and paper, books, a salad to deliver, a garden shovel, someone else's baby, because I like to help younger moms, a list of people to pray for, a vacuum cleaner, a folder of writing to edit, Esther Akerberry's recipe for Swedish pancakes.
What for you with the flame be that you hold?
For me, that candle is hope, and all the things that make up that hope. The gospel of Jesus Christ as restored by Joseph Smith and woven into our Church institution by every prophets since. Latter-day Saint women's experiences from the past 200 years. My ancestors, my friends, and you. Fire is contagious, and others' flames keep mine burning. We can do substantial good in this world, not because doing so is simple, but because we are strong enough to do things that are hard. Our Heavenly Father is waiting to help us to make us stronger. He needs us to follow through on answers to the questions He is waiting for us to ask. He needs us to follow through on answers to the questions He is waiting for us to ask. Sisters, we are endowed with godly power. Let's exercise that power to light this world with God's love. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Thank you, Sister Holbrook, for that timely and foundational message, and Sister Giddins for the beautiful music. We are remarkably blessed to have knowledge of the continuing Restoration and continuing process of revelation in preparation for the return of the Savior, both in our individual lives and as a Church.
Dear sisters, I would like to take a moment of personal privilege. This unique digital event marks the conclusion of my 18 years of service as the chair of the BYU Women's Conference Committee. I offer my deep and sincere gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His mercy and watchful hand over us. I give my love and thanks to all who have made Women's Conference possible: the presidencies of the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary; the creative, loyal staff; the dedicated, thoughtful committee members; the many presenters and musicians; the BYU employees across campus; and all of you who brought a special spirit of love and belief to our time together. May the Lord bless and keep all of you. President Worthen has given me the honor of introducing Rosemary Thackeray as the incoming Women's Conference Chair. You will become better acquainted with her through her message in a video on-demand session. She is currently the assistant to the President for Planning and Assessment at BYU. But more importantly, she is a woman of spiritual strength, faith in Jesus Christ, and a love for the women young and old of the Church. I know her heart and her capacity. Women's Conference could not be in better hands. Now, this morning we'll make history again by hosting our second Sister to Sister event. We thank Sister Reyna I. Aburto, Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, Sister Becky Craven, Second Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, and Sister Lisa L. Harkness, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency for participating this year, along with Sister Tracy Browning from the Relief Society General Board as the moderator. Please read more about them on our web page. The event will certainly have a different look from last year's broadcast from the Marriott Center. In order to follow recommendations on social distancing and the number of people in the same space, we are bringing to you a pre-recorded conversation with these beloved sisters on questions some of you have submitted. Before the Sister to Sister conversation, we will hear a musical message of faith and hope, "Come, Ye Disconsolate," from Sister Kelsey Dominguez Eastmond. The words are written by Thomas Moore and Thomas Hastings, with music arranged by Rob Gardner. She is accompanied by her mother, Sandra Dominguez. Following the music, we will enjoy the Sister to Sister conversation, after which the benediction will be given by Lynn Nelson, a member of the BYU Women's Conference Committee. Thank you for joining us today. Please enjoy our four video on-demand sessions as your time permits. Thank you for all you are doing to gather others to Christ, even during this time of severe restrictions. Thank you for your faith and your service. May you all have the blessings of heaven to be with you and your loved ones. We truly love you. And now, the musical number.
[MUSIC - "COME, YE DISCONSOLATE"]
(SINGING) Come, ye disconsolate, where'er ye languish.
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel. Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish, Earth has no sorrow that Heav'n cannot heal.
Joy of the desolate, light of the straying, hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying, "Earth has no sorrow that Heav'n cannot cure." There is hope and joy in its pastures. There is light and life in its songs. There is peace and love in its meadows. There is healing on its shores.
There is peace and love in its teachings. There is comfort in its words.
Here see the Bread of Life; see waters flowing forth from the throne of God, pure from above. Come to the feast of love; come ever knowing Earth has no sorrow but Heav'n can remove.
Earth has no sorrow that Heav'n cannot heal.
Welcome to the Sister to Sister conversation as part of BYU Women's Conference. I'm Tracy Browning of the Relief Society General Board and I'll be your moderator for today's discussion. I'm coming to you from my makeshift home studio in my basement, albeit a little less casually dressed than I have been for several weeks. Today I'll be asking questions to our panelists that women have submitted over the last few months. I am so excited to introduce our first panelist, Sister Reyna Aburto, Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, who's in an isolated studio in Provo, Utah. Let me introduce you to our next panelist, Sister Rebecca Craven, Second Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, who is joining us from her home in Utah. And finally, Sister Lisa Harkness, First Counselor in the Primary General Presidency, who's also joining us from her home in Utah. Sister Aburto, Sister Craven, Sister Harkness, and I welcome you to this unique Sister to Sister event, held completely online. We wish we could meet with you in person at the Marriott Center on the Brigham Young University campus, but instead we're sending you virtual hugs and lots of love. We're grateful to you, sisters, for joining us to view this conversation, and to our sisters participating in today's discussion, we so look forward to what you're going to teach us today. I want to start with this question because we're all in a similar situation. Most of us are sheltering in place at home, and with that comes some unique challenges and opportunities. For me, I'm never really quite sure what day of the week it is. Sisters, let me ask you, what have you been doing since you've been spending more time at home? Sister Craven? Well actually, not a lot has changed in really any of our schedules. We're just doing things from home, like we're doing today. We sure hope that even though we aren't physically together with you, that you can feel how much we love you. But one thing that I enjoy is growing potted lemon trees. So one of the fun things about being at home at this time is that I've been able to spend more time tending my trees and watching my lemons grow. But the other thing that I've been watching grow is my hair. So, so far I have missed two hair appointments, and I think probably if you look carefully, you can even see my sparkles growing out too. I think we can all relate to missing our hair dressers during this time. Sister Harkness, what have you been doing with your time? Well, I've been doing a lot more cooking than I usually do. I love, love food, and I've rediscovered snacking in a whole new way during this time at home. Just recently, I saw a funny meme that I can really relate to. It said something about that now it's suggested that we all wear masks in our homes, not to prevent us from catching a virus, but to prevent us from excessive snacking. Well, I think it's time for me to find a really good mask to prevent me from excessive home snacking. Really wise counsel, thank you. Sister Aburto, how about you? Well, what I have noticed lately is that my family and me, we are spending so much time with our dog now that she's getting so spoiled. So I'm thinking about setting some social distancing guidelines with her, because this is going too far. But on a more serious note, I'm really impressed and amazed to see how the Lord's work continues on the Earth, and how each of us can still participate on it. I want to tell everyone who's listening to us today that we are here as four members of Relief Society having a conversation. Our intent is not to address all the questions we have received. We don't pretend to have all the answers either. Like all of you, we also have our struggles, our longings, our wounds. We are all in need of peace, solace, and healing from our Savior. So some questions are probably too personal and specific to answer in a setting like this, but please be assured that we have read all of them, and that we will continue to read them, and we will have them in our heart as we continue serving in our calling and in the councils of the Church where we participate. Our prayer as we have this conversation is that we can all get closer to our Heavenly Father and also get closer to our Savior so we can hear Him, so we can hear His voice, so we can also get closer to each other as Latter-day Saints, as women in Zion, as covenant women, as women of faith, so we can work together in gathering Israel and in preparing the earth for the Second Coming. I would like to ask each of you to please listen to the promptings you will get and take note of what the Spirit will tell you, specifically as we counsel together. Please listen to the principles, listen to the doctrine, as we gather all safely in Christ today, and as we gather together in one all things in Christ, our Savior and Redeemer.
Thank you for that inspired counsel, Sister Aburto. So Sisters, to kick off our discussion, a topic that we heard a lot from our sisters was around emotional health. Many of us, as you're aware, are struggling in our current situation because our healthy social and emotional connections are less available to us right now. This can be compounded by the fact that some of us may already struggle with feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair. What would you say to those of us who face depression, anxiety, or who struggle with those feelings? Sister Harkness? Well, these are really very real concerns, and whether we struggle ourselves or know someone close to us that does, what we are learning is that this is a shared experience for so many. But isn't it wonderful that we are living in a day when we can talk more openly about our feelings so we can help bear one another's burdens without judgment or confusion? Right here now I'm thinking about Alma's teaching to his people, and I think it applies so well to these concerns. He taught that Christ would go forth suffering pains, afflictions, temptations, and infirmities of every kind. This helps us know our Heavenly Father is keenly aware of every difficulty we experience, including these emotional struggles and afflictions. Sisters, we can have faith that there will be healing. There is hope for us all, because Christ has condescended below off things, so He may know how to sucker us, His people, in every kind of infirmity. Now, while our emotional struggles may make our mortal experience very, very difficult at times, our struggles do not define our potential as children of God. When we return to His presence, we will be whole, fully capable, and free from our present mortal afflictions. Thank you, Sister Harkness. Sister Aburto, what would you say to a loved one who may struggle with these feelings? Well, I think that the first important thing that we need to do is to acknowledge that there is a challenge that needs to be addressed and to try to do whatever we can to address it. I feel that whatever our situation is, we should not try to cope with it alone. Let us ask for help from Heavenly Father and the people around us. You know, when my daughter suffered from depression and anxiety in her late teen years, it was hard for me because I didn't know how to help her. But then I remember offering a prayer one night, and then the next morning I woke up with this thought in my head, that I really didn't know much about emotional ailments. And I said, OK, I need to learn more. So I started researching, and I felt that I was able to support her better because of that. So I feel that we all need to increase our knowledge and our understanding about these emotional ailments, especially now when the effects of the pandemic will probably last for a while. You know, the Church has provided articles, videos, and other resources, so we should probably study them and ponder them. And also read the end notes used as sources. And of course, we need to also turn to the scriptures and to the words of our living prophets, because we will find guidance in them. Now, I know that there were some questions about suicide of loved ones. And regarding that, I would like to say that I know that it's very difficult to cope with that. I myself still don't understand my father's suicide. It's something very hard to grasp. But there are some things that I know. And I know that my father, my family, and me can receive the healing that this Savior offers through His Atonement. And I know that one day I will see my father again on the other side of the veil, and I'll be able to give him a hug and tell him how much I love him. I know that at that time, because of the resurrection with Christ, our bodies and our souls will be restored, and we will have the opportunity to live in a state of happiness that has no end. So if you feel that you cannot take one more step, please ask for help. My plea to you is don't give up. There is hope. There is healing. There is joy. There is love surrounding you. Please turn to the Lord's redeeming grace and turn to the people around you. Don't give up. Please don't give up. Thank you, Sister Aburto, for that powerful answer. Sister Craven, what thoughts would you share with someone who may be struggling? Well, I've been aware of emotional illnesses nearly my entire life, and I know that not all of these illnesses are permanent; some of them can be temporary just based on the circumstances we might be in. But I do know that all of them need to be taken seriously. Something I've learned is that anybody struggling with emotional difficulties needs somebody in their life that they can trust, and I hope that we can be that person. I hope we can be observant, and I hope we can be understanding and not judgmental. And I hope that we can be a trusted friend. I have loved ones who have daily struggles combating suicidal thoughts, and one dear loved one who even took their life. So I understand the fear and the anxiety and the reality of losing someone we love. And I know what it's like to have to call for emergency help. I also hope that we can follow the promptings of the Spirit, because we just don't know if showing up at someone's door or making a phone call or just sending a note might make all the difference in their life. I know that the Lord is aware of each of us, and He wants us to be happy and healthy. He wants us to find joy in life, because He said that we are that we might have joy, and I believe that He really does want that for us. And if we turn to Him, He will help us know where to find the help that we need, whether that's for our self or for somebody else that is in need of our help. I love that. I love it. Thank you, Sister Craven, and thank you to all the sisters who provided such powerful inspired answers to this question. Sisters, mothers would love to hear a bit about your own personal experience being a young mother. What was life like for you when you were raising your young children? Can you remember what your daily schedule was like? Sister Harkness. Well, that's a really fun question. I do remember a bit. Our five children were born very close together. And between their feeding schedules, colds, and upset tummies, and then the mounds of work for me to do, meals to cook, and of course regular housework, sometimes I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was, let alone if there was a schedule or not. Until it was Sunday. Then I remember patting myself on the back in my efforts to get everyone cleaned up, dressed up, and then sitting down in church, usually on time. To tell you the truth, that was sometimes my biggest scheduled accomplishment during the week. And I was OK with it. I knew that children grow up and someday my schedule and theirs would look differently. Sisters, the work of motherhood is a ministry of love and sacrifice. And it's done by all women, regardless if we have borne children or not. Women mother as we discern and meet the needs of others. It is a partnership with God. You know, I thought I understood motherhood pretty well until I watched my own daughters bring children into their families. Now I see motherhood in a brighter light. It is more noble, more divine, and a whole lot busier than I remembered. The mothers of today really are real heroines. They are battling to keep the influences of the world out of their homes, and at the same time they are fiercely devoted to making their homes centers of faith and gospel learning. Now, in the middle of all this, sometimes the intense demands of motherhood could cause us to feel trapped, without a chance to use or develop our talents and interests. But recently, Sister Jones taught us about hats. Do you remember in the last general conference when she said that women wear many hats, but that it is impossible and unnecessary that we wear them all at once? I just love this analogy, because while it may be tempting to feel discouraged in the middle of the wonderful, crazy normalness of raising children, our consistent efforts to teach eternal truths are worth every effort, every sacrifice, and all our commitment.
Thank you so much. Sister Craven, as young mothers are doing the good work of building the centers of faith that Sister Harkness discussed, what did you do to keep from burning out? How did you make time to care for yourself? Oh, I think this whole conversation is just so relevant today, because I remember when each of our daughters were expecting their first babies. At some point, each of them came to me pretty much in tears saying, "Mom, I am so tired." And my response to them each time I'm afraid was not very comforting, because I think I said something like, "I know, and I'm sorry, but it's never going to go away." But life in general can be exhausting for all of us. And it's really easy for anybody to get discouraged. Satan is particularly good at discouraging young mothers, I think. I remember being very discouraged at certain times myself. My thoughts on the topic is really a question about what we might be able to do to help young mothers. One of our daughters lives away from us in another state, and so I'm not able to help her with her children like I wish I could. But there is a sister in our daughter's ward who watches her three little kiddos for a couple hours every week, just to give her a break. I absolutely love this sister. I asked our daughter once what she did during her alone time, and she told me that sometimes she goes to the temple. Sometimes she goes grocery shopping. But a lot of times she just stays home and takes a nap. It's OK for us to be away from our children for a while, and I think it's good for them too. And if possible, I think that we can plan it in our budget to hire a babysitter occasionally, or like I did, I traded babysitting with a friend every week for just a few hours. And I can't tell you how good it was for my psyche. And it was also for our children, because they had a regular play date every week. It's important to take time for ourselves, sisters. And that applies to all of us, not just those who have young children. Here is a truth that I absolutely know, that all of us as women by our divine nature, we mother. It's just part of our eternal DNA. And so with those divine motherly instincts, wouldn't it be wonderful for each of us to consider ways that we might be able to help support our fellow Relief Society sisters who have small children?
Thank you, Sister Craven. Sister Aburto, what would you say to young mothers? Well, besides what had been said, that I think it's just wonderful advice. I feel that sometimes we are just maybe too hard on ourselves. And two things come to my mind as we are talking about this. One of them is the consecration covenant that we make in the temple. I feel that probably we need to understand that better, and I think that I am still trying to understand what it really means. But I feel that sometimes we think that it has to do only with callings or the time we spend at church. Or sometimes we think that it's something from the past or it's going to be in the future. But I feel that it has to do really with consecrating our life and what we are spending time on. So I feel that if we are helping our family, if we are embarked in school to prepare for the future, if we are caring for a sick family member, for example, or maybe we are working hard to provide for ourselves and our family, or if we are constantly looking for ways to minister to others and bringing them to Christ, or if we are constantly seeking the Lord's will for us, maybe then we are living the law of consecration, and we probably just need to be more intentional. I feel that one of the most important things is what we are becoming and what we are helping others to become. So each morning we can offer our day to God, ask Him to help us, then have a constant prayer in our heart so the Spirit can guide us. And then each night we can ask Him to accept our offer. The second thing that comes to my mind also is that we need to look back and see the hand of the Lord in our lives. I feel that when we hear older people's stories or we read stories in the scriptures, they are relating the stories in retrospective. Even though it may take us just one minute to read a chapter, a single chapter may have covered months or years. And a lot of the details and the daily routines are not spelled out. So let us take the time to look back and see the great things that we are achieving. Let us also picture the future and enjoy each moment. So let's not be so hard on ourselves. We are not as bad as we think. But of course, we can always do better, a little bit better. And one more thing is that we don't have to do it all at once, just a little bit at a time, one day at a time, and one small step at a time. You know, Sister Browning and I were talking about this just a few days ago. And she said something really profound. Can you please share it with us, Sister Browning, please? Sure. Thank you, Sister Aburto, for the invitation to share a thought. This is a meaningful question to me, because I can so relate to our sisters seeking counsel on this topic, because I too have been pondering and prayerfully seeking guidance to understand what opportunities there are for me to improve my mothering to my young children. I still have a young son at home, and I have a tendency to spend a lot of time navigating the temporal and temporary aspects of the work that I do in my home as a mother. The battles with the laundry and the schoolwork and the activities, the illnesses, the mealtimes, and what feels like a daily rinse and repeat cycle. But in all that good and important work addressing those temporal, and again, temporary needs, because some of these tasks will change with the passage of time, there is a knowledge that has been planted deep within my heart that seeks to remind me that motherhood is not just a condition of mortality or a biological function measured only by this present season along a very long timeline of eternity. The eternal and exalted title of mother, the call to be the mother of all living, was presented to women before our mortal experience and will continue with us after this state. I love this quote from President Monson. He says, "May each of us treasure this truth. One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one." Can you imagine what learnings about that partnership and our divine role of mother still await us? I know that each of us will be champions of this season of motherhood. And we will be prepared for the many glorious seasons ahead. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I love it. Thank you. Beautiful. Thank you, sisters. Our next topic is on comparison and judgment. Some of us inevitably see or hear things that make us feel really bad about ourselves and we begin to compare our life and efforts to others, often leading to thoughts that we're simply not good enough or talented enough, spiritual enough, and so on. How can we resist the urge to compare ourselves to others? Sister Aburto, what would you share with us? Again, I will say that I feel that we are just too hard on ourselves and on others. We need to realize that we are all imperfect people in the road to perfection, through the redeeming grace of Jesus Christ. But for some reason we have the tendency to label ourselves or others. And I know that we need ways to describe ourselves and our experiences in life, but we should not allow our experiences to define us. They can refine us, but they should not define us or others. So my advice is to try to avoid labeling. We have so much in common. We all have a divine nature, and each of us is a child of God. Each of us is a child of heavenly parents. And we are all sisters and brothers, and we are all disciples of Christ, and we are all trying to become like Him, and we are making our best effort, and we need to believe that. And even though there is an ideal we are all trying to achieve, we are all on our way there together, and we are not there yet. Something else is that I feel that there is not really a mold in the Church or a cookie cutter in which we feel that we all have to fit. Because each of us is different. And if we think that there is a mold, then maybe it means that we don't really know the people around us. Some of us choose not to tell our whole story because it may be too painful. But I know, because it has happened to me many times, that when we take the time to hear older people's stories, when we take the time to get to know them, we realize that we all have struggles, that we are all healing from something. And so maybe that's the reason why we should treat everyone like if they are carrying a heavy burden, because there is a big chance that it is the truth. Even the ones who seem well put together or who seem to have a perfect life. And I know that if we do this, our perspective will change. Because we are all trying, and we all have something to contribute as well through formal callings or through the Spirit. And then church, church is really a place to gather together, to strengthen each other, to make and renew our covenants, and to gather together in one all things in Christ. So we can then go on our daily life and participate in the work of salvation and exaltation, with that knowledge and with that power, in our organized way as members of Relief Societies, priesthood quorums, and classes, and in individual ways in our personal lives. So we have work to do. So let's lock our arms and do it together. So any of you would like to say something else about this? I love that. I would, Sister Aburto. Thank you for that counsel there. And that makes me think of something that Sister Jean Bingham recently taught us about how Satan incites comparison as a tool to create feelings of being superior or inferior to each other. I think that is such a great observation. We can certainly see this happening in our day, don't you think? So often when we compare ourselves with others, we focus on what they have, and then we desire their blessings, their talents, and their experiences. When we do this, we're taking our eyes off the Savior and instead looking sideways to the mortals in our lives. Sisters, I think if we're not very careful here, we might completely overlook our divine, unique gifts, just like Sister Aburto was teaching us. Think about it for a minute. If Satan can keep us distracted, thinking about somebody else's talents, somebody else's gifts, or somebody else's skills, then we are not engaged in the work our Heavenly Father has sent us here to do, using the tools and gifts He expects us to use. Now, when we feel tempted to compare ourselves, and we will, we can choose instead to express gratitude for even the smallest blessing in our lives. I have found this works for me. When I choose to be grateful, I can make connections between the gifts Heavenly Father has given me and the work He has asked me to do. It helps me to avoid comparison. Now, we all know that Heavenly Father is very generous in giving. But are we equally generous in receiving and using what He has given us? Sisters, through personal revelation, the Holy Ghost will help us come to understand more about our divine nature and gifts, those that we have been given to accomplish our mission on earth.
Thank you, sisters, for that inspired instruction. Sister Craven, we'd love your council on this next topic. We know that family relationships are important, but we do recognize that sometimes they can be a real struggle and cause pain that we may feel by our family members. How can we let go of the pain of difficult relationships and be at peace? Relationships, whether they're with our family or if they're with friends, are meant to be supporting and loving, and I think they should be fun as well. But sometimes we find ourselves in a hurtful situation, and we find it very difficult to let go of that hurt and anger. So this question really resonated with me because there was a time that I was in a similar situation. And because of the circumstances, I found myself very hurt and betrayed. And I was extremely angry. And for years, I had let those feelings fester within my heart, and I became dependent on somebody else's actions to determine my mood, my thoughts, and I'm really sorry to say, even what I talked about. It was not good for my emotional or for my physical health. And it took me a really, really long time to get over it. And I say that because my heart was so hard that it did take a long time. I eventually realized that I had created a trap for myself. And I started to pray really hard to know what to do. And then I had a personal revelation. And it was as if a voice had entered into my mind, and I heard the words of the Lord which we read in Mormon chapter 8 that says that "Man shall not spite, neither shall he judge, for judgment is mine, saith the Lord." And then I realized that I cannot be the judge of anyone, that the only thing that I have to choose and to judge are my own thoughts and my own actions. And I recognized that I was carrying a burden that the Lord had already carried. And I can't adequately describe how I felt at that moment, but I felt lighter. And for the first time in a really long time, I felt free. I felt free from the bondage of such intense anger. Now, that doesn't mean that we have to be best buddies with everyone. But we do need to be kind. And we need to refrain from speaking ill of anybody, because that just fosters contention in our hearts, and we know that contention comes from Satan. And that even includes using sarcastic remarks, because they can be very damaging and hurt feelings as well. The Savior, I know, will bear our burdens if we allow Him to. We can let go of hurt feelings and anger when we allow the Savior's Atonement to work in our lives. But I also like to just mention briefly the importance about communication, because we're a Church of councils. You may have heard it said that revelation is sprinkled among us. And I believe that. But we have to remember that counseling is more than just talking, that it requires us to listen with our ears and with our hearts. My husband often says that "reasonable people working together can come up with reasonable solutions." And I love this familiar scripture that we find in Matthew that says, "For [when] two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." And to me, the most important part of that scripture are the words "in my name." Because when we counsel together and invite the Lord into our conversations and seek personal revelation, there are so many questions and concerns that can be resolved.
I love that. I love that. Thank you for that wise counsel, Sister Craven. Sisters, as we know, we're unable to predict the future. Wouldn't that be something if we could? Unforeseen circumstances absolutely will happen during our lives. How might we build spiritual and emotional resilience that can prepare us for unexpected personal difficulties in the future? And I'd love to hear from everyone on this question. Sister Harkness, let's start with you. Well, that's a great question. You know, you're right. Even though we can't see into the future, there are no surprises to God. He knows the end from the beginning. And we can be assured He is always several steps ahead of our present circumstances. Now, we know that He prepared a way for our growth before we were born on earth, so it should be no surprise to us that He continues to prepare us for unforeseen events and experiences that are yet to come. As you look back in your life, can you see examples of how God was preparing you for the very trials you are experiencing right now? They are there. And the Spirit will help us understand Heavenly Father's efforts to prepare and strengthen us. You know, sometimes when we are in the middle of a difficult trial, time seems to slow down and every bump in the road of our journey can feel more pronounced, more painful, and perhaps even more unfair. Disciples of Christ have never been spared difficulties, hardships, or tragic accidents. But we do have the reassurance that we are never alone. Just as God prepares us to meet our challenges, He stands close by, helping us endure them. And one way He does it is through personal revelation. President Russell M. Nelson recently told us that "when [we're] surrounded by uncertainty and fear," you know, kind of like right now in our situations, "[our Heavenly Father knows that] what will help us . . . most is to hear His Son." Sisters, we can feel prepared for the future by heeding President Nelson's plea for us to develop or increase our ability to receive personal revelation. Hearing His son is Heavenly Father's way of helping us prepare for the future and endure the present in faith.
That's great. Thank you, Sister Harkness. Sister Craven, what will you share with us? Oh, well this pandemic has certainly caused the unforeseen return home of more than 30,000 missionaries. And I know that this has been difficult for many missionaries and their families. My husband was a mission president. And I can tell you from our experience that this is also a very difficult time for mission presidents and their companions. But while we were serving our mission, missionaries returned home early for a variety of reasons, sometimes well beyond their control, such as physical and emotional illnesses. But before those missionaries returned home, my husband always shared with them this scripture that is found in Doctrine and Covenants section 124. And I'd like to read it. It says, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons [or daughters] of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings." Now, the enemy could be many things. It could be an illness or even a pandemic. But for any who have returned home from a mission early and worthy, or in the spirit of repentance, we should refrain from judging. And those missionaries should not put an asterisk by the side of their mission. We hope that they can each declare confidently when and where they served without adding any type of a qualifier. As the scripture I just shared tells us, the Lord will accept their offering. What relevant counsel. Thank you, Sister Craven. Sister Aburto. Well, I'm so grateful for the counsel that it has been given. And I know that we are living also through really peculiar times right now. But I feel that this is a time to reflect on and cherish the blessings we have received from God. I feel that this is the time to get to know ourselves better and to get to know the people around us. This is the time really to minister to others according to our circumstances. And we are seeing this around the world, as people are just helping each other in different ways. It's so wonderful to see people helping their friends, their neighbors, and even others that they don't know personally. So I feel that this is a time to see the miracles around us, and to take the time to hear the Lord, to hear His voice, to trust and believe in God's plan of happiness. And I think that, like we are reading this week in the Book of Mormon, this is a time to lift up our heads and rejoice, and put our trust in God.
Thank you, sisters. Sisters, here's another topic that is of significant interest to a lot of our sisters that wrote in. We have been blessed by many messages from the brethren and the sisters teaching us about the priesthood of God. And we know that the power of keeping priesthood covenants blesses both men and women. Sister Aburto, how can we be more prepared to call upon the power of God in our lives? Well, first of all, I would like to read something that President Nelson told us women last October. And he said, "Those who are endowed in the house of the Lord receive a gift of God's priesthood power by virtue of their covenant, along with a gift of knowledge to know how to draw upon that power." I feel that we just need to open our eyes and ears so we can hear what the Lord is trying to teach each of us, so we can hear Him, and really understand what this means for each of us. And I also feel that all that we are learning about God's power is not new doctrine. Some of the basic principles are that all of God's children are invited to make covenants with God, and that when we keep their covenants we have made, God blesses us according to the terms of the covenant. And His power and blessings flow into our lives. We are endowed with priesthood power to do the work of God on the Earth through our covenants and our righteousness. And the more we act on it, the more we will receive it. The truth is that we have already been drawing upon God's power without knowing it. But maybe we just need to be more intentional in our personal life and in our callings as we hear and follow the voice of the Savior. I want to tell you something that happened to me in Johannesburg, South Africa, a few years ago. I was there on an assignment. And on a Sunday evening, we were going to have a devotional with young adults. And that was a busy day. And I remembered that that morning, I had some impressions, and I kind of wrote down some kind of outline of the things that I wanted to share with those young adults that evening. And I thought I was ready. But then just a few minutes before that devotional started, just a few minutes before, I had this feeling that probably I needed to make a change, that I didn't need to just give them a message, that we needed to counsel together. And it was a little bit scary because I was like, really? Is that what I need to do? So I followed the prompting. And I just gave them a short message of about five minutes. And then I asked them, what are your concerns? What is in your heart? What keeps you awake at night? And it was amazing to see all those young adults coming up with things that mostly had to do with their friends. And that was really, really something that impressed me a lot, because many of them were worried about their friends who suffered from anxiety and depression, or their friends who were not coming to church, or their friends who were not members. And they were also worried about education and how to help each other find the best options. So what we did is that they divided in small groups, and each group started counseling together about each of those issues. Just for a few minutes. And then when we reconvened again, it was so amazing to feel God's Spirit that came to that room. As they were sharing the things that they had felt in their heart as they counseled together that they could do for their friends, the amount of energy and faith and power that was present in that room was just amazing. After we ended the meeting, we had to stay in the building for a little while, because some leaders needed to have a meeting. And then when we left the building, 40 minutes after the devotional had ended, there were so many of those young adults still there counseling together on finding ways to bless their friends. They were really talking about ministering to each other. So that evening, what I learned was that when we are humble enough, when we follow the Spirit, we are empowered, and we can use that power to bless the lives of our brothers and sisters around us. And that's what those young adults were doing. They were finding ways to help, and they had decided to go and do the things that they had been inspired to do. So for me, that is a great example of what feeling that power is. And that's what I learned that evening. Thank you, Sister Aburto. Sister Harkness, Sister Aburto discussed being endowed with priesthood power. What does it mean that women have been endowed with God's priesthood power? Well, that's a great question. And it's certainly one that so many women have. But first, when we talk about priesthood power, we must be careful to never compare it to the model that the world assumes about how a person gets, maintains, or loses power. In the world as we know, power is often an all or nothing possession. There is never enough of it to go around it seems, and it's often used to control others. It's usually also maintained only by force. In contrast, though, God's priesthood power is distributed very differently. It is given, bestowed, conferred, and shared based on conditions of worthiness. It operates on the principles of righteousness. The use of God's power elevates and transforms our characters to become more like the giver who is God. Our understanding of God's power is distilled upon us as we keep covenants made through priesthood ordinances. Now, when God covenanted with Abraham, He promised that through his posterity all the families of the earth would be blessed with the blessings of the gospel, which are the blessings of salvation, even life eternal. As we now enter into any sacred covenant, from baptism through sealing covenants in temples, we do so by God's priesthood authority, which allows our covenants to be binding on earth and in heaven. Then, as Sister Aburto was talking about, as we faithfully keep these priesthood covenants, God bestows upon us His promised power and blessings, including the highest blessings of salvation and exaltation. Sisters, what could we learn if we ask ourselves questions like, what are the blessings that I receive from each covenant I have made with God? And what am I empowered to do because of the covenants I have made with God? And also, how can I then share these covenant blessings with others? Let's think about this for just a minute. The meaning of the word endowment refers to a gift that is given to bless those in need. As we consider how the powerful blessings we receive from keeping our covenants meet our dearest needs, we can better understand God's divine power and its exalting purpose.
Thank you, Sister Harkness. Thank you so much for those inspired questions that we should consider. Sister Craven, how is having a better understanding of how we can receive God power in our lives a game changer for women?
Well, I was thinking that last October during the women's session in general conference, that President Nelson asked each of us to study the priesthood so that we could understand it better. This is what he said. "You might begin with Doctrine and Covenants sections 84 and 107. Those sections would lead you to other passages. . . . As your understanding increases and as you exercise faith in the Lord and His priesthood power, your ability to draw upon this spiritual treasure that the Lord has made available will increase." So I did what the Prophet asked us to do, and I have to tell you that my understanding has increased, and I'm really grateful for the things that I've learned. It wasn't until I was an adult that I started to understand the oath and the covenant of the priesthood, which is found in the 84th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, one of the sections the Prophet asked us to study. I really never paid much attention to it, because I thought it really only applied to my dad and my brothers. But as I matured in the gospel, I began to realize that it actually had everything to do with me. So I now understand a little bit better that as we keep the priesthood covenants that we make in the temple, that the Lord blesses us with an oath that He will bestow upon us some wonderful blessings. What we covenant to do is to receive the priesthood or the power of God into our lives, which includes making and keeping sacred priesthood ordinances and covenants. But now, listen to what the Lord promises us. And He promises us with an oath which He cannot break. We will be sanctified by the Spirit. We will be numbered among the elect of God. And all that the Lord has will be given to us. So back to the question, what do we do with this knowledge? Sisters, we do the same thing that we've been doing all along. But I believe that we can do it with greater confidence, that we have power to do the things that we've been called upon to do. I believe it gives us energy. And I think that it gives us a greater understanding of the importance of our callings and the responsibilities that we have in the work of salvation and exaltation. Thank you, Sister Craven. Well sisters, we have about 10 minutes left in our discussion. And I wanted to take some time to ask a question that we heard from quite a few of our sisters so that we can get a bit of a response here. It's regarding Church callings. What would you say to women who may feel discouraged or who feel like they're capable and are willing to serve, but don't feel like they're needed? Sister Harkness, can you provide us some instruction on this topic? Sure, great question. You know, so often when we talk about the work of the Lord, we talk in terms of our present callings, and we say things like, I'm the Relief Society president, or I'm a Sunday School teacher, a family history consultant. And sometimes we say, I'm just a Primary teacher. With very few exceptions, every calling in the Church is temporary. We will have many over the course of a lifetime. And there may even be stretches of time when we don't have a designated calling. The Lord has said, if we have desires to serve Him, we are called to the work. You and I express our desire to serve God when we make and keep sacred priesthood covenants. These covenants bless and empower us to do the Lord's work, just like we mentioned a few minutes ago when we were talking about the priesthood. What a wonderful thing it is to be called to the Lord's work as we keep our covenants. President Nelson reminded us what this work looks like. Do you remember when he said, "[The gathering of Israel is] the greatest challenge, cause, and work on the earth"? And he also reminded us as women that we are all invited and desperately needed in the work. When we focus on the work and not the title of our temporary calling, we will see there is enough work for us to do. It is all around us. And we can participate no matter our circumstances, marital status, age, or experience in Church leadership. Remember that anytime we do anything that helps another person take a step along the covenant path, we are helping to gather scattered Israel, and this is the work that we all have in common as covenant disciples of Jesus Christ. Every calling in the Church is involved in this same work. Some may do it in a family history library or at their home computer. Some do it in Primary singing time, and some play the piano. Some help youth learn how to lead. And many, many sisters minister like angels. As we engage in this work that we've been called to do as disciples of Christ, we can be sure that it will require our best effort, our courage, our time, skill, energy, and creativity. But sisters, we will be blessed for every effort we make in the work of the Lord, because everything we do is for Him. Thank you for that important counsel, Sister Harkness. Sister Aburto, we've received numerous questions about ministering. What do we need to know? How can you help us with this topic? I would just like to say a few things. I know that much has been said about ministering. But I feel that ministering is putting into practice the two great commandments, which are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others like the Lord loves us. So if we love God, if we truly love God, we will naturally feel love for others. So let's look for revelation on how to minister to other people. Let's get to know the person. And asking them how they would like to be ministered to is one of the best ways to know. Also praying by name is very powerful. We can ask in sincere prayer, what can I do for this person so she or he can get closer to the Savior? And many times our presence may be the most important thing that we can offer. I love what Brother Petelo said in this last conference when he said, "We cannot sit idly and expect the Lord to use us in His great work. We must not wait for those who need our aid to seek us out." So let's just keep finding that revelation and following the revelation that we feel, and that we receive on how to minister to others. I know that this is God's work and that He will help us. I know that He will. Thank you, Sister Aburto. As we wrap up here with our last few minutes together, sisters, what are your final thoughts that you'd like to share? Sister Harkness. Well, thank you, Sister Browning. Before we end, I would like to share a few things based on a recent conversation I had with a good friend of mine. She is going through an experience that would cause many of us to ask a lot of questions, some of which have no answer. When I asked her "How are you holding on to your faith with what you are experiencing?" she said to me, "Well, I read my scriptures every day. I pray many times every day. And I have committed to myself that I will never allow someone else's comments or example to prevent me from living the gospel of Jesus Christ." I was so touched by her answer. She's a wonderful example to me of determined discipleship. These three things could also help us all when we have unanswered gospel questions. You know, questions like gender issues, Church history facts, heavenly mother, and so many others. Sisters, even when there are things we don't know or understand, we can always know the most essential truths. For example, we can know our Heavenly Father loves us because we are His children. We can know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer, and that peace in this life is found by following in His footsteps. We can know what His voice has to tell us as we improve our ability to receive personal revelation. And we can know God will always fulfill His promises. Sometimes though, His promises may look like they are very far away from us. You know, kind of out on the horizon somewhere. But sisters, their distance has nothing to do with their very real existence. God's promises are sure. I know we can believe Him. You are loved. May you go forward in faith with a firm commitment to keep your covenants, relying always on the merits and mercy of our Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you, Sister Harkness. Sister Craven. I'd also like to end by saying something about personal revelation. I love that the Lord knows me so well and He knows how I hear Him best. There are times when I hear Him in the middle of crazy loud chaos and confusion, but mostly it's during times that I'm quiet that I hear Him the best. Like when I'm reading my scriptures or saying my prayers or just being really still. But there was a time when I was worried about my ability to stay focused during my prayers and scripture study, because I found myself just being distracted like a lot. Things just kept popping into my head that had nothing to do with what I was praying about or studying about. And I was really bothered about that for a long time until I realized that the Lord was actually speaking to me. I wasn't being distracted at all, but rather that the Spirit was bringing thoughts and ideas to my remembrance that the Lord needed me to know or do. So now I pay really close attention to those thoughts that pop into my mind. I know that we all have questions. And we don't know the answers to many things. And I certainly have a lot of questions as well. But this just does not shake my faith. I have had spiritual experiences in the past that I draw upon when I need to draw upon them. And I intentionally now seek for spiritual experiences that I can draw upon in the future. Those experiences help me stay rooted in the gospel. Now, I don't know everything. But I do know what I know. And I know that I am a daughter of heavenly parents. I know that Jesus is my Savior. And I know that when we seek revelation by counseling with the Lord in all of our doings, that He will direct us for good. And I count on that.
Thank you, Sister Craven. And Sister Aburto. Well, I would just like to say that I know that there have been many questions that have not been answered. Well, we just need to keep looking for that revelation from God. And I know that we will receive it. And also, when we seek spiritual knowledge, let's concentrate in the principles, in the doctrine, in the promises. And let us also remember that repentance is a joyful thing. I also would like to take just a minute or two to invite all of us to try to understand better what Relief Society is. You know, since I have had this calling, I have sisters coming to me and apologizing. They just say things like, oh Sister Aburto, I'm so sorry. I am not active in Relief Society because I have been serving in Primary or Young Women. And you know what I do? I just give a hug to that sisters and I tell them, "My dear sister, you are among the most active members of Relief Society because you are blessing our children and our youth." So I just would like to tell all of us, Relief Society is not a room in a building. It's not an hour every two weeks when we get together. It's not an activity. It is the women of the Church. It is us. Each of us, all of us. And we can be armed with righteousness and with the power of God to prepare the earth for the Second Coming, to save souls, to defend our soul and our homes from spiritual dangers, to declare glad tidings of great joy unto this generation, to perpetuate righteousness in an organized way, collectively and also individually. So we are always in Relief Society. So let us seek first "the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all of these things shall be added onto [us]." Let us fill ourselves with charity, so "the doctrine of the priesthood [can] distil upon [our souls like] the juice [of] heaven." I know that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us. I know that we have a Savior, and that we need to try to hear Him, and follow His Spirit that will guide us through our life. Please my dear sisters, keep trying. Please don't give up. We love you. We pray for you. You are laying the foundation of a great work, and out of small things proceed that which is great. And I say this humbly in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, sisters, for this beautiful conversation today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences and instruction with us. It's been a privilege and truly inspiring to learn and feel the Spirit together in this very unique way. We know that during this time, every day holds a new set of feelings for all of us, and we've been so strengthened by your words, by your testimonies, and by the Spirit that we've felt. And to our dear sisters who have joined us to listen to today's conversation, we love you and we pray for you, particularly that you keep safe and healthy until we meet again.
Our dear Father in Heaven, we are very thankful for the Spirit that we have felt, and for the many counsels that we have received this session of Women's Conference. We're thankful that we can meet together remotely and feel of each other's love and concern. We thank Thee for the inspired guidance and efforts of the members of the Women's Conference Committee. And we thank Thee for a living prophet, for his words of love and encouragement in these times of uncertainty and anxiety.
Please bless us with a portion of Thy wisdom so we can be brave and strong as we confront the challenges that lie ahead of us. We thank Thee and we're very grateful for our Savior, for His love and His atoning sacrifice, for His teachings, and His example so we can return to Thee. Please help us so we can be faithful in keeping Thy commandments and that we can be steadfast as we journey along our covenant path. Please bless our efforts to gather safely in Christ, our families, our friends, our communities, and ourselves. As we prepare for Thy coming, we pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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