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Transcript

Before I was born, my biological father left me. My parents, who were raising me, just weren't what I thought. I don't know who I am. I don't know where I come from. I don't know when my birthday is. Like, is Rebecca even my real name? I went through, like, this entire identity crisis. It was kind of like my life was falling apart.

I was so confused on if anything that my parents ever told me was true. And then, I had a really close male friend. We really trusted each other, so it hurt me a lot when he sexually assaulted me. Everything that went through my mind was "I am worthless. And I'm disgusting" and just crying and crying and crying and asking myself, like, why did this happen? It was like--I feel like everyone's against me. The world is against me. God is against me. And at that point, I was like, "There is no way there is God. There is no way. If there was a God that did exist, why would he make my life like this?" And I hit a really low point where I just wanted to end it all. I was sitting in my room. And I was--like I had planned everything. And I understood. And I think I wrote, like, part of a letter. And then I felt this feeling to contact somebody. And it just felt like I needed to ask him, like, "What is faith?" So when that happened, it was kind of a wake-up call because he gave me this really long paragraph and all these scriptures. And at that moment, I felt loved. I didn't feel loved by him necessarily, but I felt just love. It felt like there was a lot of warmth and comfort in the room. Like there was somebody there. Or there was something there that was like, "You are OK. You are loved. But I need you to get back on the right path." I went to therapy for a while. I would cry a lot. I would get angry a lot. The best thing that she told me was "That does not define you. Even though it happens, it doesn't make you worthless. It doesn't make you unclean. It doesn't give you this title." I definitely still struggle. I still have really low points. And I still have really high points. But overall, I think I'm doing really well. And right now, I feel balanced physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I think faith is kind of understanding that Heavenly Father is there for you and that He loves you. Because to me, that's the foundation. And then everything else builds upon it. Because what God is, is God is love. And with love and God, there is always hope for something better. Even if you have the worst years of your life, and it could continue to get worse, there is something better. I think my relationship with God has given me the identity--no no matter what goes on in my life--that I am a daughter of God. I am somebody He loves. So no matter what happens, I could change my name, and I would not be Rebecca anymore. But no matter what, I am always a daughter of God. That is always my identity. [MUSIC PLAYING]

With God, There Is Always Hope for Something Better | His Grace

Description
After a childhood of painful abuse and neglect, Rebekah felt worthless, disgusting, totally confused about her identity, and absolutely sure there was no God. Her relationship with God changed. She felt God’s grace.
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