So often we think we have to just square up our own shoulders and take on all the responsibility. Don't try to carry the load by yourself. The Savior is so willing to shoulder our burdens with us.

Pray to our Heavenly Father in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ,

and He'll send the Comforter, the Holy Ghost, who is so generous in giving us the inspiration that we need in order to move forward. You undoubtedly feel betrayed, and yet, with those feelings of betrayal, you have to move on and help your family, especially if you have children, and help them move on. It'll be a totally, drastically different change in lifestyle,

but the Lord knows that and loves you and has not given you anything that you cannot do and manage through. Having a spouse leave for any reason, any length of time is difficult.

Prison is no different. And it was ... it was just overwhelming. And I, you know, wanted to do it all myself. Just take care of it. I didn't need help. I need a lot of help. Things don't go away.

Your girl’s hair with the rats that you didn’t know really existed. But they were there. Someone else took care of them. But now you get to help with that. One thing I know is that people want to help.

So just let people know and usually

we figure it out.

Create some sense of routine, if you can, in your home so that there's predictability.

We all appreciate predictability, and I think our children especially need it, especially during these challenging times when they feel that things may be uncertain. Those kinds of patterns and routines that we can establish for our children will help them address the uncertainty that must be in their minds about what the future looks like for them or what challenges are around the corner.

But if they know that there's patterns, that there's a schedule that they can count on at home, I think that will bless—that will bless their lives.

While I was inside, my wife leaned heavily on the support system of the Church. And kept her routines and habits as normal as she could—

going to church, reading her scriptures,

saying her prayers. While I was in those dark days in prison,

I relied on the hope that my family would be eternal.

The only way I got through them was from my sweet wife.

Her letters and her phone calls and her visits

affirming to me that our family was to be eternal and is eternal.

I knew that I had some repenting to do and some things that I needed to do to truly come home and be the woman that I'm on this earth to be. The things that I think that my husband did well and you can do as a family member is say, “You can do this, you can.”

And I think that everybody needs that. They need people to believe in them, not to feel sorry for them,

because this is something you have to do. You have to get through it.

My advice is to look inward and to look upward.

And when you look inward,

make sure that you understand why you're with that individual.

And when you look upward,

make sure that Heavenly Father relays both messages to both of you in separate beds every night, because He will. He can and He will. When I first had a family member that was incarcerated,

I didn't know what to do and how to feel.

You cry, and you don’t know who to turn to because you don’t know what to do.

But go ahead. Do the things you've been used to and accustomed to doing,

and then you can find more things to do. Sometimes we have to act, and that’s how the Spirit continues to move and prompt us, is we take that first step and then we know how to take the second and the third and the fourth step. And I can

appreciate what a challenge that is to try to make a decision about whether or not to end a marriage relationship. Turn that over to the Savior too. Let Him carry that burden with you of the weight of making that decision and rely upon the promptings of the Holy Ghost to know how to proceed.

Forgiving those who have harmed you is

one of the most difficult things to do.

And as you look to the Savior, then little things can start happening.

You can start praying that your loved one, who you haven’t forgiven, can at least be safe. You start praying that little things will be better for that person. And it’s by looking to the Savior that over time

the feeling will come to you that you can naturally forgive. So don't push it faster than you can.

Don't fret that it hasn't happened yet,

but look to the Savior and look for the help that he can give you. And eventually it will come.