Have you ever been concerned that someone thinking about suicide will confide in you, and you won’t know what to say?

Maybe you're worried that anything you say will make the situation worse.

This video will guide you through the three basic steps to remember when figuring out how to respond and can help you feel more prepared.

Ask, Care, and Tell—or ACT—will help you determine if a situation is life threatening and if you need to involve trained medical professionals.

The first step is to ask. When you notice warning signs that someone might be struggling emotionally,

be brave and ask them directly about how they are feeling.

Asking them directly is an act of compassion and love.

It will not make the situation worse.

Of course, in order to notice the warning signs, we need to know what to look for.

Warning signs can take the form of words, such as talking about hurting themselves, having no reason to live, or unbearable pain and burdens;

self medication, such as an increased use of alcohol or drugs, including the misuse or hoarding of prescription drugs;

unexpected behaviors, such as giving away valued or personal items for no obvious reason; and changes in mood,

such as being overly anxious and agitated, withdrawing from relationships, showing rage or seeking revenge, and other extreme mood swings.

If you notice any of these warning signs, take the situation seriously.

Ask the person directly and compassionately,

“Are you thinking about hurting yourself or thinking of suicide?”

Their answer to that question will help you determine what to do during the second step, which is Care.

Listen carefully and sensitively to what they say.

Take seriously what they share with you.

This step involves a lot of listening and doing your best to understand.

If you learn that the person is thinking about hurting themselves or ending their life, ask if they have already made a plan to carry out those actions.

If they have already made a plan, the situation is more urgent.

Don't leave them alone until you

or someone you find can assist them in getting the professional help they need.

Call a crisis helpline, contact emergency services, or take them to a hospital. If they are struggling with hopeless thoughts and feelings but have not yet made a plan,

continue doing your best to have a caring conversation.

It took courage on their part to share their feelings with you about their challenges. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what to say—that’s normal.

Remember that your friend is probably feeling uncomfortable too.

Here are some guidelines for having a caring conversation.

Do: listen and try to understand their point of view.

Do: use empathetic statements like, “I’m sorry you’re in so much pain,” or “I didn’t realize how hard things are for you.”

And do: let them know you care about them and what happens to them.

Meanwhile, don't try to oversimplify their grief. Emotions are complex.

Avoid saying, “I know how you feel.”

We never really understand what another person is feeling.

Don’t share judgmental statements like “I’m sure if you would get more exercise, you wouldn’t have those thoughts.” Or “I was depressed once, but just decided to surround myself in positivity, and now I’m fine.”

And along those lines, don't assume that just because you've been through a similar situation, you know it will solve their problems.

They need someone to listen, not to lecture.

Your friend may need to create a simple safety plan to turn to when they are struggling.

This simple plan of support could include a list of phone numbers to call,

including friends and crisis helplines when needing someone to talk to; family or friends who can create a safer environment at home by removing items that can be harmful, such as firearms or pills;

several activity ideas that usually help boost their mood;

a few safe places they could go to for a distraction, such as a park, market, or any open venue. They should write the safety plan down on paper, on their phone, or somewhere else where they can easily access when in crisis.

Now, one important note: During this caring conversation, your friend may ask you not to tell anyone about their struggles.

Explain that you will respect their privacy as much as you can,

but they may need more help than you can provide,

which leads to our third step, which is to Tell. Respect the trust your friend has shown by opening up to you, but never promise to keep talk of suicide a secret.

If your friend is in crisis, immediately tell someone who is in a position of trust and can help them, such as a parent, church leader, school teacher,

or professional resources in your area.

Support them as they tell their story to counseling professionals who are trained to address their complex issues.

Many countries have free crisis helplines but are a good place to start.

Or your friend could visit a doctor, urgent care clinic, or hospital.

If they resist getting professional help, you need to tell someone for them.

Explain to your friend: “I care about you and want you to be safe.

I am going to tell someone who can provide the help you need.”

You are not expected to provide all the support on your own.

Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles has said,

“Heavenly Father knew it would be a challenge, and He knew we would need each other’s help.”

Reach out in love and caring for those who have suicidal thoughts,

who have attempted suicide, who feel marginalized in any way.

Reach out in love and understanding.

And you do that in concert with health care professionals and with church leaders, with friends, and family support. Ask, Care, Tell.

Understanding and practicing these steps can help you minister to those who desperately need hope and help.

Your compassion will always make a difference and might

a life.