One of the easiest ways to identify a true follower of Jesus Christ is how compassionately that person treats other people. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious. We should be wise in explaining and pursuing our positions and in exercising our influence.

We are to be examples of how to interact with others, especially when we have differences of opinion. We should love all people, be good listeners, and show concern for their sincere beliefs. Perhaps even more important than speaking is listening. Be genuine. Reach out sincerely. Ask these friends what matters most to them, and then listen.

The time to listen is when someone needs to be heard. If they try to express their anguish, is it possible for us to listen openly to a shocking experience without going into a state of shock ourselves? Can we listen without interrupting, without making snap judgments that slam shut the door of dialog? It can remain open with the soothing reassurance that we believe in them and understand their feelings. Sometimes what we need is empathy more than advice, listening more than a lecture.

Someone who hears and wonders how would I have to feel to say what they just said? Elder Russell Nelson told me once that one of the first rules of medical inquiry is ask the patient where it hurts.

The patient, he said, will be your best guide to a correct diagnosis and eventual remedy. Humility is selfless, not selfish.

It doesn't demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. If we listen with love, we won't need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us by the Spirit and by our friends.

Let us show that there is a peaceful, respectful way to resolve complex issues. As you demonstrate the charity that true followers of Jesus Christ manifest, the Lord will magnify your efforts beyond your loftiest imagination.