It Isn’t Business as Usual
Twelve Principles of Self-Reliance
Principle 9: The Golden Rule
“Don’t take this personally, it’s just business.” This approach perhaps offers temporary success, but it leads to long-term frustration. The truth is, when you follow the Golden Rule, you are happier and more successful at work and in life.
The Golden Rule: Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Here’s a story of a dairy farmer. When asked why he was so successful, he said that he only had one rule to live by: the Golden Rule. “But how do you live the Golden Rule when you deal with cows all day?” The farmer smiled and replied, “Well, I’m not a cow, but if I was, I’d want to have a little room to roam, sweet grass to eat, and clean water to drink. So that’s what I give my cows, and that’s why they are happy.”
Maybe this approach sounds simple, but it works. Think of the person at work you report to. Now put yourself in their place. Let’s say that your team leader processes expense reports every Friday. And every Friday, you dutifully drop off your expense report, but your leader never responds. Not a smile, not a thank-you. You’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, right? So why isn’t your leader more grateful? Let’s think about it. This person probably has a pile of work to do before they can enjoy the weekend. What if you started to submit your expense report on Thursday afternoon instead of Friday? If you switched jobs, would you appreciate someone being early instead of turning in their paperwork at the last minute?
Of course, seeing things from someone else’s perspective is easier said than done. The thing about the Golden Rule is that it requires honesty— certainly with others, but especially with ourselves. We have to ask the hard questions: Did I just interrupt my coworker? Am I being judgmental? Am I really listening? When we are honest with ourselves, we can more clearly perceive the needs of others, and then we can change our behavior to meet those needs.
To follow the Golden Rule, we need courage. We need humility. And we need practice. It takes deliberate practice to change behavior. Consider something you’d like to improve, like showing more patience at work. Now choose a strategy that will help you make this improvement. For example, you could decide that you’re going to take a deep breath or pause and think carefully before responding to a problem. This deliberate process will not only help you show more patience; it will also help you make better decisions.
The Golden Rule is older than the Bible itself. God encourages us to love each other. And to love someone is to see life through their eyes and to develop empathy. Empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings, and condition from his or her point of view, rather than from one’s own.
It’s a wonderful higher attribute that conveys the message: “I care about you. I am here for you. I have your back. You can do it. We can do it together.”