Sister to Sister Event
2021 BYU Women’s Conference
Friday, April 30, 2021
Sister Irene Caso: Hello, our dear sisters! To all of you, wherever you are, we are so glad you are tuned in with us today for our third Sister to Sister conversation! And of course for the entire BYU Women’s Conference!
My name is Irene Caso, and I will be your host for this unique part of our conference.
Joining me for this special live conversation is Sister Sharon Eubank of the Relief Society General Presidency, Sister Michelle Craig of the Young Women General Presidency, and Sister Susan Porter of the Primary General Presidency. Now, as many of you may know from watching general conference earlier this month, Sister Porter was just called to the Primary General Presidency, and we are so excited that she is here with us today. And we’re going to get to know her better very soon!
You all look lovely today, sisters. Sister Eubank, I love your pants!
Sister Sharon Eubank: Thank you very much. I figure if missionaries can wear pants, sometimes we can too.
Sister Caso: You look very comfy.
There is so much in store for us, sisters. Not only do we have many of your important questions to explore together, but we’re also going to hear from wellness experts who will share their important insights into the issues that impact all of us. And, sisters, we’re going to talk.
But first, before we do that, we want to learn a little bit more about the sisters we’re going to be talking to.
Sister Eubank, Sister Craig, and Sister Porter let us share a part of their family perspective and some of their life lessons before this conference. We had so much fun. I like to call it our “video visits”!
And our first visit is with Sister Eubank, and she tells us about a big idea she and her family had to grow a tree farm when Sister Eubank was a youth, but as the years moved on, their plan didn’t quite work out, and her efforts turned into something else.
[Video]
Thank you, Sister Eubank! It was so cold.
Sister Eubank: We had fun, didn’t we, though?
Sister Caso: We had so much fun, and it was such a beautiful place. Thank you for sharing it with all of us and with me. I know where it is now. I’m sorry. I live pretty close. But I’ll call you first, when I need a minute to relax. It was a beautiful area. Thank you.
So now let’s follow Sister Craig with her extended family home for dinner.
Of course, with Sister Craig’s good-size family, there’s nothing ordinary about dinner time when everyone has something to share.
[Video]
Now I’m hungry. Sister Craig, thank you for having me. That was so good. And we need to thank everyone. Your daughter did have the baby. Yesterday?
Sister Michelle D. Craig: Yes, she had the baby yesterday.
Sister Caso: It’s a baby girl, right?
Sister Craig: Yes, a baby girl. She’s perfect. No name yet.
Sister Caso: And, Sister Craig, I still think about those rolls—the dinner rolls. Amazing. Would you mind sharing the recipe?
Sister Craig: I will share it, and I have to give a shout-out to my neighbor Miriam. It’s her recipe, but my family likes them.
Sister Caso: They were incredible. So thank you again. Now we get to know you a little bit better.
As many of you know from the announcement at general conference, Sister Susan Porter was called to the Primary General Presidency. She and her late husband, Bruce Porter, are the parents of four grown children. She holds a science degree, she’s been a math teacher, and she has served in the Church in many places all over the world. Sister Porter loves music and playing the piano. I had a chance to visit with her a few weeks ago and talk about her life, the loss of her dear husband, Bruce, and what it is that brings her here to us today.
[Video]
Thank you, Sister Porter. It was so good to get to know your family, virtually. And how are you doing? A few weeks now in this big calling—is your head still spinning, Sister Porter?
Sister Susan H. Porter: Yes. Sister Wright and Sister Johnson are here. We are swimming as fast as we can.
Sister Eubank: And, Irene, I’m going to introduce you. For those of you who don’t know, Irene works at the Church Communication Department. For many years, you were a broadcaster on Univision?
Sister Caso: I was.
Sister Eubank: You’re married to Mike; you have two children, Diego and Lola, and you’re from Madrid, Spain.
Sister Caso: I am. Like I could deny, right?
Sister Eubank: We hit the jackpot when you agreed to do this with us.
Sister Craig: She’s so talented, and she’s so nice. She’s made it so easy for us.
Sister Caso: Thank you so much. Sisters, this has been so much fun. I hope the people watching these videos can really get a little glimpse of each one of you, because for me it’s been a treat to get to know you better. So thank you again.
OK, sisters, as we said earlier, we’re here to talk about the things you care about, the things that concern you, and, frankly, the things that trouble you and keep you up at night when you should be getting your rest. It happens to all of us. Today we will address a few of the over 10,000 questions sent by you—sisters from all over the world—that this BYU conference has been gathering for the last couple of years.
We’re going to laugh; maybe we’re going to cry—I don’t see any tissues, sisters. Sister Porter, you brought some. Maybe you’ll share. And after that, we’re going to know that we are not alone and that we are here to help each other and lift each other with God’s help and His blessings to us, His daughters, all over the world. Let’s get started!
One of the questions we hear frequently is about personal revelation. And it becomes even more important in these times when many of us feel alone.
One sister writes that she studies the scriptures but doesn’t hear the Lord speaking to her. And another sister prays to feel God’s love and direction, but she doesn’t sense it.
They are wondering, what am I doing wrong? If anything.
Sister Porter: You know, I think we’ve all felt that at some point in our lives, haven’t we? When we’ve been seeking revelation and really haven’t felt like we’re receiving it. One thing that’s been coming to my mind is, for each of us, one of our deepest desires is to feel and know that God, our Heavenly Father—who knows us better than anybody else, with our weaknesses and our strengths—loves us, He cares about us, and He’s trying to help us. And that’s just down deep. So that desire for revelation—I love the phrase that Enos uses, when he says, “My soul hungered.” And our souls are hungry—to feel God’s love, to feel His direction, like these sisters were talking about.
I’ve been thinking, since President Nelson— Remember when he was first called and his first talk as a prophet? He mentioned one thing he had learned was how willing the Lord is to speak to our hearts and minds and let us know. And it made me ask myself, “I wonder if the Lord is giving me more revelation than I’m actually recognizing.” So I’m thinking, “Why aren’t I receiving more?” And the Lord is giving me that.
So I’ve thought two things. “How can I tune my heart so that I can feel and understand that?” A scripture jumped out to me in Jarom, where he said the people couldn’t be taught because their ears were stopped; their hearts were hard. And I started thinking about my ears and my eyes and my heart. And I thought, “I could probably receive more if I really tried to open up all of my senses, all of my faculties, to receive what the Lord is giving me.” And not just— We certainly can receive revelation when we’re praying or studying, but how about throughout the day? The Lord may be speaking to us.
I had an experience that brought this home to me. And that was a few weeks after Bruce passed away. I was just praying to the Lord, “What do I do now?” We’d been serving full time, and now he had passed away. So I thought, “Well, there are a lot of good things I could jump into,” but I really wanted to know His direction. So I’m praying for weeks and weeks, and one day I went out to get the mail. And, of course, it’s 90 percent junk, so I just stood by the recycling, and I’m just tossing in the catalogs, but I decided to keep two. And when I got in the house, I was kind of looking through them. And as I was looking, my eyes riveted on a picture that was no more than 1 x 1. And as I looked at it, I realized it was a little representation painting of the woman at the well, sitting at the feet of the Savior. And as I looked at that picture, the Spirit said to me, “That is what you are supposed to do.” And I was so grateful to the Lord for helping me understand, my eyes, my ears, my mind—keep it open all day, and maybe I could be receiving more of what the Lord is trying to tell me.
Sister Eubank: I love that you shared that, because in my own experience it’s tiny things like junk mail that somehow the Spirit can use to teach us. And I’ve had similar experiences. I’m the kind of person who gets frozen up by the expectations of revelation. If I know there’s an expectation, then I just freeze. And I’m always asking, “Is this it? Is this the thing? Are you sure? Is it me? Is it you?” And there have been three ideas that have really helped me in my life.
The first one—and it’s very similar to what you said—I think it comes out of Matthew 11. But it’s that scripture where Jesus is talking about the nature of God. And He says if you pray, if a son asks a father for a fish, will he give him a stone? And then He said this is what your Father in Heaven is like. So when I ask for things, I know that He’s kindly disposed toward me, and He’ll give me something. That’s about God’s character; it isn’t really about me, but it’s about—He knows how to give good gifts to His children.
And the second thing comes from something Elder Packer taught, and this has changed my life. This is what he said: “The light is always green, except if it’s yellow or red.” But that helps me because go. The light is always green, and if you need to have a caution or I need to stop you, you’ll know it. You’ll feel it. But don’t worry about, Is it you; is it me? Those are all good instincts, and just go. And that has helped me not get so paralyzed.
And the third thing that I really like is that sometimes you go down a road and you say, “Oh, this isn’t the right road.” And I have to back up. But you think, “Was that revelation, or did I mishear that?” But, to me, it’s like a Pac-Man game. You go down this path to simply pick up that jewel and then come back. I think I’ve just dated myself talking about Pac-Man, haven’t I? But I don’t want to resent that journey of going to pick up that one little jewel and then come back. And even it’s not about efficiency so much; it’s about getting that jewel that I need. And that’s the only way I can go and do it. So those roads that you go down that you felt good about that didn’t work out, there are treasures there for you. And those three things have helped me.
Sister Craig: I love these thoughts. When you talk about being paralyzed, sometimes I think maybe I’m not so different, or maybe I’m not recognizing it when it comes. I think we all have to work through that, and I was reflecting on this. There’s something I’ve been praying about for a long, long time, and sometimes you don’t feel like you’re getting an answer. It’s like, “What am I not recognizing? What’s wrong with me? I’m trying to do everything right.” I remember waking up—this was early last year—with a distinct impression: “Michelle, you can trust God, and you can trust His timing, because you trust His heart.” I think that perspective that—like you said, we have a good Father who wants the very best for us, and we just need to do our imperfect best. we may not always recognize the promptings when they come. I think of 3 Nephi 9:20; it talks about the people who “were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.” So we’re not always going to have these big spiritual experiences. I’ve had very few of those. Spiritual progress is gradual, and it happens line upon line, and we just need to do our imperfect best.
Sister Caso: So true. I feel like I should be taking notes. I’m going to have to come back to the broadcast. Thank you, sisters, for sharing that. And I’m happy we took some time talking about personal revelation, because it’s the base of all the other issues and topics we’re going to be addressing today. So thank you so much.
OK, sisters, we’re going to need your help with this next question. And this one really stems from an area we can all identify with, and that’s mental health—especially during this closed-off time period of the pandemic. Some sisters and some countries are struggling very, very badly right now as we speak.
One sister writes, “How can I feel God’s love when anxiety and depression make it hard for me to feel anything?” And she wonders what she can do to protect her testimony in these uncertain times.
Sister Craig: I think that’s such an important question, and I think we all know somebody—ourselves or somebody close to us who we love—that is dealing with this. One thing I have learned is that a side effect of clinical depression is feeling numb and not feeling the Spirit. I just feel like it’s so important that people realize this is not an indication of their worthiness or their worth when they feel that or they feel nothing. You can choose to fight back. Use the resources that are available. If we were physically sick, we would go to a doctor. Seek help—medication, if necessary. Take care of your physical health and your spiritual health. I think sometimes we just need to hold on with our head what we don’t feel in the moment in our heart. When people say they don’t feel the Spirit, I think there’s a scripture in Galatians that talks about one of the fruits of the Spirit is longsuffering. So I would say, also, don’t discount the longsuffering and the things that you’re learning.
Sister Eubank: When we read the thousands of questions that came in, there were hundreds of questions about stress and anxiety and mental health. And a lot of people asked about guilt versus shame, which I think is something that is really important. And guilt is just a feeling that your conscience tells you, of “That behavior probably wasn’t in line with your values.” Shame is that feeling of “I am a failure. There’s something broken in me. I am a disaster and can never be fixed.” In my personal opinion, shame doesn’t really help anything. It just debilitates you. Guilt can kind of move us along. But some things you work on to resolve, and some things you have to just let go of and give to the Savior. And a lot of us are working on getting rid of those feelings of shame and just trying to move forward.
Because I wanted to get a more expert perspective about this—I’m not as qualified to answer about this—Irene and I sat down with a mental health counselor, and we talked about some of these questions. And Sister Gemma Williams holds a master’s degree in clinical social work; she’s worked in the field for 14 years. And she shared some very practical tips about building up your mental and your emotional resilience that are so important in these days of stress that we all feel but, you know, in the things that are going on in our lives. So let’s take a look at that video with Gemma.
[Video]
Sister Caso: It was so good to hear from someone with the experience to talk about some of the things that we need to do.
Sister Eubank: And very practical resources.
Sister Caso: So, sisters, as we continue on the subject of mental health, we know that when we’re dealing with those feelings of coming up short—or not being enough—we feel guilty. You were talking about that, Sister Eubank. But the truth is, at the end of the day, anxiety and mental health can impact all of us. And it’s important to know that mental health is not a reflection of your spirituality.
I’ll say that again. Mental health is not a reflection of your spirituality.
Because of that reality, it’s also important to remember that it’s OK to have those feelings. And when we do, we need to be ready to reconnect with what really brings us joy. And that brings us to the next question, sisters. Sister Porter, I would love to know: what is it that you do to cultivate joy in your own life, especially when you’re feeling down? What brings you joy?
Sister Porter: You know, it’s interesting: in the past year—I don’t know how it’s been for you—but joy just hasn’t walked in off the street into my life. And so many of us had to switch from “I can do this for 14 days; I can do this for 2 months.” So I love that your question said “How can we cultivate joy?” Because it’s not showing up on our doorsteps any time soon. I’ve been thinking about “How can I move from just feeling like I’m hanging in there until I wake up and the dream’s over to really experiencing joy?” I thought of it in two ways. One is “How can I receive more joy?” And then the other is “How can I share more joy?” Or create it. I think it’s create it. So how can I receive joy, and how can I create it? Our deepest sense of joy is a spiritual gift, and it comes from that Galatians that Sister Craig was mentioning. So many gifts.
I think of it kind of as peace. Joy and peace for me virtually go together. If I can feel peace in my heart that what I am doing is in line with my true spiritual self, that gives you a sense of inner peace and joy. Any efforts we make to receive the Spirit, to align ourselves with our Heavenly Father. In the scriptures it talks a lot about a fulness of joy, and that can be a little bit overwhelming, because I don’t think we can maybe feel that in this world. But President Nelson said something really helpful this conference. He talked about how this is a gospel of joy because it’s a gospel of progress. And anytime we’re repenting, changing, growing, we can experience that joy. That’s how we can receive more joy, is turning to God and opening our hearts to Him, like we were talking about earlier.
The second one is how to create joy. For that, I have a visual aid. But it’s a 3 x 5 card, so don’t get excited. I didn’t make a quilt or— This is my idea of a visual aid. It’s a 3 x 5 card with four words on it in Magic Marker. And this is what reminds me every day to create joy in my life: nourish, connect, move, and refresh.
Sister Craig: Will you say those one more time?
Sister Porter: Yes. That means I have to remember them. Nourish, connect, move, and refresh.
Sister Eubank: Hold up the card so they can see that again.
Sister Porter: In hot-pink Magic Marker. These words help me create joy in a balanced way. I put nourish first because, as women, we tend to not spend time nourishing ourselves. And what an important thing that is. The Savior did that, as He went out to pray. So that if we first— If we want to create some joy, to nourish ourselves and do things that nourish our souls and our hearts, whatever that is. And then connect. You know, with friendships and laughter, and I know we’ve had some fun times together that we love. Moving in happy ways. Our daughters are good at this. We’ll just be in the house talking; they’ll just turn on some music, and we’ll have a random, five-minute dance party, which is so much more joyful than “Oh dear, I have to do my 30 minutes of exercise.” Right? So move in joyful ways. And the final one is refresh, which reminds me of President Uchtdorf’s talk years ago about creating things. Do you remember that? If we can create something, that’s going to bring us joy. It’s going to refresh us. So if it’s creating order out of chaos, or if any of you are talented artistically—that’s not me—but anything we can create. So that’s helped me to think about receiving joy and then creating it.
Sister Caso: I love that. We’re all going to be creating our own little card. Sister Eubank, Sister Craig, I would love to know: What is it that brings you joy?
Sister Eubank: Well, as I’m listening to Susan Porter, I’m remembering we were talking on the phone. This was early in the pandemic. And I said something smart-alecky like “I don’t have a life. I have to get a life.” A couple days later she rang my doorbell, and she was standing there with a box of Life cereal and the board game Life. And she said, “I came to give you your life back.” But it was so fun, and I needed that. And that connection with a friend in the moment really helped me. So I’ve tried to think, “What can I do for other people that made me feel the way you made me feel?”
Sister Caso: That’s so good.
Sister Craig: I love those. And I love those four words. One word that came to my mind was carbs.
Sister Eubank: Will you write that on a card?
Sister Porter: I’ll add that.
Sister Craig: Sometimes that makes me really happy, especially refined carbs.
Sister Caso: They bring joy to my life too.
Sister Craig: But I love those sentiments that you expressed, and I think sometimes for me it’s just being with people that I love and that make me want to do and be better. And just relaxing. Sometimes it’s going by myself, being outside, trying to reconnect. I found myself in the temple parking lot a few weeks ago just feeling a need to be there and to connect. So I think it’s important. One thing I’ve noticed that I love is that President Nelson talks about joy in almost every talk—that he uses that word. He’s taught us that we can find joy regardless of our circumstances. But we have to be intentional. It’s not coming to our doorstep, like you said.
Sister Eubank: Except in my case.
Sister Craig: That’s true. Joy personified.
Sister Caso: Thank you so much, sisters. We’re going to take on our next question, and this one is a real issue across the board for many women.
This sister’s question comes from a place of unfulfilled expectations. In this case, she’s from a close-knit family but doesn’t have children or family of her own. And when a new niece or nephew is born into the family—to a brother or sister—she’s happy, but she feels a void in her heart no matter what other good things she does in life or at church. So she wonders, How can she feel fulfilled when she’s not able to do the one thing she feels she was born to do?
Sister Eubank: Can I talk about this?
Sister Caso: Please.
Sister Eubank: That feeling that she’s talking about is such a vivid, physical reaction to a desire that’s just so deep in our hearts. I’m going to share a personal experience. It was I don’t know how many years ago—10, 12, 15 years ago. It’s Mother’s Day Sunday, I’m walking out of my house to go to the car, and I come out and I shut the door, and there are all these maple trees around the house, and they’re letting out those helicopter pods. And they’ve come down all over the asphalt on the driveway, and they’re sitting there. And as I walk through them to the car, I realize, “They’re exactly like you. You’re the mother who’s dropping her seeds onto something asphalt that will never grow.” I may have been a little overwrought. But that physical feeling of this isn’t going to be the experience that you wanted to have in your life.
We talk about not being able to do the thing that you’re born to do. There’s a real grief about that. But I have come to see everybody is born to do three things. And we may do them in different orders, but eventually we will do all three of those things. And we will fulfill the measure of our creation. So the first one is to just freely choose God. I love God, and I love my neighbor. I have total control over that, and I will choose to do that. The second thing is to come to know Jesus Christ. I will repent, I will keep His commandments, and that will open the door to the things that I want. And the third one is to establish family relationships on both sides of the veil.
Now, what order that happens—for me, it will be a different order than maybe I expected. But if you’re doing any one of those things, you’re fulfilling what you were born to do. And if this sister were here, that’s what I would sit down and just say. This is what I have learned. Waiting on the Lord is a sacred position. We listened to Elder Gong talk about it in conference and just say it’s a “holy position.” And it doesn’t deserve pity, and you may not have the children that you want. You may not be in the situation you want. You’re health might be different. You don’t have what you long for right now, but waiting on the Lord is a holy position, and you are in some of the company of the best souls on earth. So don’t be afraid to serve in Primary even though you don’t have the children you want. These are those jewels that go down that road that you’re picking up, and you’ll use them later on (see Psalm 27:14). That’s my testimony.
Sister Craig: That’s so beautiful. And you know what? We love you a lot.
Sister Eubank: Thank you.
Sister Craig: You’ve blessed a lot of people. I heard Elder Holland speak last week, and something that he said really was profound to me. He said, reflecting on his life, his greatest growth has come from disappointment and unfulfilled expectations. I think when we can have that perspective and maybe look back, that we will find, if we have tuned our hearts to the Lord, like you mentioned, that those can be periods of great growth.
Sister Caso: Thank you so much, Sister Eubank. And thank you, Sister Craig. Thank you for sharing something so personal that I know is going to resonate, that is going to talk to the hearts of so many sisters all over the world. We love you. I love you. I love you. Let’s move on. Where are the tissues? I knew we were going to need them.
Talking about this, that ties in perfectly with the next question. This sister wonders why she feels guilty for working “when I don’t need to. My husband provides well for our family of six, but I like feeling the accomplishment of a good day’s work. Heavenly Father has made it clear through personal revelation that He is OK with me working, so why do I feel so guilty?”
And let me tell you, sisters, that question hit home for me. Let me share a little bit about my experience. I’ve always had a working life, a broadcasting career, as you mentioned. And if you know anything about broadcasting, it’s very time demanding, time consuming and everything. So when I started having babies, there was a decision. What do we do now? Who watches the baby? And my husband and I and the Lord, we felt that it was OK for me to go back to work, and my husband would stay home with my baby. He was on board—my husband was on board—the Lord was on board; I was on board. We felt through personal revelation that that was OK.
But the mom guilt. And not only myself thinking, “Is that going to be OK? Is Diego going to be OK?” But sometimes other people—very well intentioned, I want to think—friends and sisters in the ward who come and plant that seed in my little brain saying, “But, Irene, are you sure that’s OK? Is Diego— You know, because the figure of the mom—” And then I was thinking, “Diego’s going to be messed up. Diego’s not going to grow up to be normal.” And I’m happy to report he’s OK. He’s wonderful. He’s the most intelligent and good-looking boy ever. But, yeah, that happens. That happens. So, Sister Porter, what would you say to me? Why do we feel guilty when we know through personal revelation that our choice was the right one?
Sister Porter: Thank you for sharing that. I’ve been reflecting on Elder Bednar’s talk in April general conference when he spoke about principles. And he used the quote of Joseph Smith that we’re so familiar with: “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.” And I was thinking about it in this context. In the scriptures—for instance, in Doctrine and Covenants 93:40, the Lord instructs us to “bring up [our] children in light and truth.” So that is the principle. And then how do we govern ourselves, according to that principle? And you just shared a beautiful example of that—where we take the perfect principle, and then we approach the Lord humbly in prayer ready to accept His direction in our lives. And then we can move forward with peace.
It’s interesting that six years ago at this BYU Women’s Conference, Elder Ballard—now President Ballard—gave a talk and addressed this very thing. And I wrote it down so I wouldn’t mess up his words. And he was talking about two women theoretically—he picked two theoretical women—one having the impression, for instance, “Go to medical school; get more training,” another to marry younger, have children younger. Then he posed this question: “Is it possible for two similarly faithful women to receive such different responses to the same basic questions?” And then he said, “Absolutely! What’s right for one woman may not be right for another.” So it’s so important for us not to judge.
Sister Craig: I love that so much, that there is not just one way to be a covenant-keeping woman of God. I think you mentioned it in your interview with Gemma, but we need to give each other grace. We need to give grace to each other and to ourselves and, I think, assume that everybody is doing the best they can. Because we are. We’re trying hard. We are. We just need to be kind.
Sister Porter: Well, and I loved the Relief Society General Presidency yesterday, that whole section on belonging, which is embracing all of us in our differences that can be so enriching. And I just wrote down two quick thoughts that stuck with me, Sister Eubank, from you and Sister Bingham and Sister Aburto. One was that we create a safe space—so, for instance, that any of us going to church or Relief Society, we know that we’re not going to be judged or criticized, but we’re going to have arms wrapped around us. And then the second one was to be a light, not a judge. Two things that I took from Relief Society yesterday.
And then the other thing I did was I thought—I looked up two scriptures that I was so familiar with that talk about what our covenant responsibility is once we join the Church and become this body. And in Mosiah 18 and in Doctrine and Covenants 42, the words were strengthen, comfort, lift up, mourn with, bear burdens. All of these are uplifting, never judging.
Sister Eubank: I love those words.
Sister Caso: So true. Never judging. And in any situation. In my belief, the scenario we’re talking about but also any other thing. We’re sisters. Thank you so much. That was so helpful. I should have talked to you when I was making that decision. Sister Porter, where were you?
Let’s address another question from another sister. She wonders, “How can I strengthen my relationship with my adult children that are not active in the Church anymore? How can I maintain strong family ties with them?”
Sister Craig: That’s such a good question. It’s complicated. I love the heart of this sister, that she is wanting to maintain those relationships. That’s the most important thing. Relationships are eternal. I had a wonderful conversation with Sister Wendy Ulrich about this. Wendy is a wise woman. She’s the best of the best. She has a PhD; she’s a psychologist; she’s an author and former president of the Association of Latter-day Saint Counselors and Psychologists. Wendy also serves as a member of the general Relief Society council. She’s the whole package. So let’s watch our interview.
[Video]
Sister Caso: Thank you so much.
Sister Craig: Isn’t she good?
Sister Caso: She was so good. And it was so refreshing to see how she put in such a simple way something so complicated, as we were talking about. Thank you so much for that, and, of course, thank you, Sister Ulrich, for helping us and providing that guidance for us today.
OK, sisters, I cannot believe it, but we’re running out of time. I don’t like that watch that I have over there that is saying “Keep it up.” But I think we do have time for one more question. Are you in? Let’s do it. This one talks—and it’s perfect for you, sisters—and goes directly to our leadership of women in the Church. This sister wants to know how as women we can let our voices be heard in the Church and wonders, How have you seen personally women serving more in leadership positions, and how do you yourself share your perspective in the many councils you serve in?
Sister Eubank: I love the concept that the Restoration is ongoing, because we’ve seen just in President Nelson’s time a lot of progression in the Restoration. And I know that that’s true. Part of that is the ability for women to participate in councils, and we’ve seen that in our service. I sit on the correlation committee; you’re on the communications committee; you’re on the scripture committee. The presidents sit on the Board of Education and missionary and temple and family history. And that inclusion of sisters there has created a new rhythm in those councils. It’s very interesting.
If you sit in a council, men have such a different communication style. They talk over each other, they interrupt each other, and I’m like (raising hand), “I’d like to have a comment.” I don’t want to interrupt; I don’t want to be rude. But understanding that rhythm and— Elder Christofferson, who chairs my committee, he totally gets me. He looks at me, and he raises his eyebrows at me, and I’m like, “Yes,” and he says, “Sister Eubank.” But I’ve gotten more rough-and-tumble with them too, which has been great. And I think that that’s true in stake councils, in ward councils. You have to get used to each other, and if you need a little help from the person who’s chairing the committee, that’s OK too.
But I also have loved the addition of these new sisters who have been called to help the Area Presidents. So they’re going to train stake leaders, but they’re also bringing perspective into the area council, where they have not always been before. So that just happened a month ago. So there are new ways for women’s voices to be expressed, the perspectives of women to help instruct the Church, and the revelation that they feel bring a richness. And these are beautiful parts of the Restoration.
Sister Porter: So true. With Sister Johnson, Sister Wright, and I, we’re kind of the new kids on the block, and we’ve had an amazing couple of weeks being invited in to be guests, to participate in each of the committees of the Church. And not only that but to receive instruction in each of the departments of the Church. So we’re kind of getting this broad view, which has been really helpful for our service in Primary.
The other thing that’s come out—and this will resonate with sisters who serve in ward councils and stake councils—is when we were called, Elder Cook emphasized to the three of us that we, when we attend the committees or whatever our assignments are, we really have two roles. And one is to, of course, keep in our hearts, How will this affect children? How can we as a Church move forward to bless our children? That is our calling. The second one is, as Sister Eubank was mentioning, as sisters and as women. So we have been invited to give our thoughts on any type of issue, whether or not it affects women, children, anybody that we know anything about. So that’s for our sisters in ward and stake councils also. When you are there, sisters, to come— And it puts a little more responsibility on us to come prepared, to know ahead of time the agenda, to have prayed and considered and come and offer the inspiration that we have received, whatever the discussion is.
Sister Craig: Sister Eubank, you mentioned the new calling, just really in the last couple of months, of area organizational advisers, sisters from all over the world that are called by Area Presidencies. We had a chance to meet with many of these sisters just about a month ago. I don’t know if there’s a picture.
Sister Caso: There they are.
Sister Craig: There’s the Zoom call of some of us. Anyway, it’s not the picture I thought it would be, but there are sisters—
Sister Porter: There’s more in back of you, Sister Craig.
Sister Craig: Oh, OK. I’m sitting in a different— I wish you could all have just felt the Spirit on that call as these sisters introduced themselves from all over the world. Hello from Argentina. Hello from the UK. Hello from Ghana. It was an amazing— I don’t think there were many dry eyes. I felt we are on the cusp of something remarkable, these consecrated women making a difference. It was wonderful. I wish sisters from all over could have felt that Spirit, and I wish they could feel the spirit of our prophet and our senior leadership, who love and respect and value and want the contribution of our sisters.
Sister Caso: It is so important. Because of my job, I’ve seen you participate in these councils, and I’ve seen you represent women. So for that, thank you. Women’s voices are needed, and they’re wanted in the Church. We do know that.
We would like to take a moment to remind you that your questions and the nature of this discussion will continue online in a special series called Sister to Sister Q&A. You can find it in the Gospel Library’s Young Adult Weekly Magazine when you log in to ChurchofJesusChrist.org.
Once again, thank you so much, Sister Porter, Sister Eubank, Sister Craig, for sharing your thoughts, opening your hearts, and addressing these important matters. I’m really grateful.
And before we say goodbye, we would like to hear your last impressions, your last thoughts, after this wonderful hour that we have spent together. And because you’re the new one, Sister Porter, we’ll start with you.
Sister Porter: What a blessing it’s been for me to prayerfully consider questions of your hearts and to feel this sisterhood among us. When questions—no matter who it’s from, even if my experience has been somewhat different, that I’ve felt connected to you, in your hearts and desires. And then the blessing it’s been to counsel together with Sister Eubank, Sister Craig, and with Irene about the questions of our hearts.
The message, the thought, that I would like to leave with you is my deep and abiding testimony that God, our Heavenly Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ, love each of you. They are aware of your circumstances. They’re aware of those questions of your heart. They’re aware of your joys, your sorrows, your pains, and they want to work and walk with you. And it’s through the Holy Ghost, that great gift, that third member of the Godhead, that we can receive peace and joy. If there are ever some moments in our life where we don’t actually feel it, we can move forward with confidence knowing we are loved, we are valued, and we are important.
I leave you with my testimony of this restored gospel. It is an ongoing Restoration that is a joy to be part of. I’m grateful for President Nelson and witness that he is God’s prophet on earth today. And I leave you with this humbly in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Sister Eubank: I think I would leave with this thought: I testify that we live like kings. In any other dispensation, any other millennia the treasures that we hold in our hands would have been available only to kings and emperors, and yet we take them so much for granted. We have scriptures that give us advice and examples of people from millennia back that we hold in our hands in our own language.
We have a prophet. We have 15 prophets, seers, and revelators who look forward into the future and teach us what we need to do before the Second Coming of the Savior. We have commandments that—to me they’re like how Heavenly Father tucks us into bed. There’s a warm, tight blanket around you, and when we fall out of bed we have Jesus Christ, who will help us repent and put us back in bed. But the Holy Ghost that we felt as we’ve met together, prepared for this event, and then been here together, it helps me answer my questions.
And I would encourage any of you, find a couple friends, sit down, and talk about your questions, and access the power of the Holy Ghost. And I hope that you can duplicate what we’ve felt among us here today. But I testify God knows you, He loves you, and He will answer your questions better than we ever could from this stage. And I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Sister Craig: Before I bear testimony, I just want to thank these wonderful sisters for the opportunity that we have had to learn and grow together and to seek personal revelation. For the sisters who submitted questions from all over the world, we love you. We love you. A feeling has been coming to me that we need each other. Sisters, we need each other. We need Jesus Christ. He is the answer to every question, to every concern. We can go to the scriptures, we can get on our knees, we can go to our Heavenly Father, and we will find the answers that we need and the direction. I bear testimony that there is a Father in Heaven, that we are beloved daughters of heavenly parents, like the Young Women theme says. I know that Jesus Christ lives, that He lived a perfect life, and that He is in the details. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Sister Caso: Thank you, sisters. God bless you all, and thank you for being part of this Sister to Sister live conversation! See you next time.