After All

I had just left the cot, after having donated a pint of blood to the Red Cross in Alabama, when with typical southern hospitality a volunteer worker helped me to a chair to rest and offered me some refreshment. Seeing there was only cola and coffee to drink, I declined her offer of refreshments. She insisted I had to drink one or the other, so I asked for water in hopes of appeasing her. Still she insisted, and again I politely refused and said that water would be just fine. Then, in frustration, she called across the hall in a loud voice to the nurse in charge, “This man won’t drink coffee or cola. What should I do?” Without hesitation the nurse in charge yelled back, “Send him back to Utah!”

Raymond Knowles
Montgomery, Alabama

During the homemaking lesson in Relief Society, clothing care was discussed and it was suggested that clothes be ironed as soon as they are washed to avoid a huge pile of ironing. One sister commented, “You know, my husband and I were debating that very point the other night. He insists I would save myself oodles of time if I would iron the same day as I wash. However, I have my theory. We have our year’s supply for food storage—why, I’m just building up our year’s supply of clothing! Then every three months I rotate it!”

Susan Manning
San Diego, California

After studying an Old Testament unit on honoring parents, I gave my seminary students a test. One of the questions asked about the penalty for flagrant disobedience of parents under the Mosaic law. A student, instead of giving the usual answer—“They were stoned to death”—cleverly wrote in the space for the answer, “They were rocked to sleep!”

David Campbell
Kirtland, New Mexico

While playing the LDS game Seek, we asked our four-year-old which church Heavenly Father told Joseph Smith to join when his prayer was answered in the grove. He responded, “He told him to join our church.” When we told him our church wasn’t here yet, he replied, “Then did he tell him to join the Third Ward?”

Eva Johnston
Sandy, Utah

When one of our daughters was four or five years old, she mentioned she liked the church hymn about playing horsey. We were puzzled until she said, “You know, ‘I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, Over mountain, o’er playin’ horsey.’”

Mrs. Marvin Winkler
Roseville, California

During the holidays we spent some time with our family in Utah, where one of our frequent activities was playing chess. One day while the chess set wasn’t in use by the adults, a few of the children decided to give it a try. As they were dividing the pieces, one of the children was overheard to say, “Now you have the bishop and I’ll take his two counselors.”

Marty Dillon
Flagstaff, Arizona

A member of our stake presidency told this story at a stake conference: His wife was ill and could not teach her Primary class, so she asked him to teach the class for her, a group of six-year-old girls, not his usual milieu for teaching. The lesson was about testimony. To introduce the subject, he asked, “What is it that you can give away and give away and still have plenty of?” There was silence, with blank looks on the faces of the students, but finally one young moppet raised her hand and said, “Baby kittens?”

Wesley P. Goulding
Eugene, Oregon