Bedtime Chat

With growing anger and a sigh of exasperation, I picked up Jeremy and took him back to bed.

“This is the last time,” I threatened. “Don’t get out of that bed again.” With those words, I turned and marched from the room.

“Why?” I asked my husband as I collapsed on the couch. “I’ve been trying to get those boys in bed for over an hour and they keep popping up for a drink, to go to the bathroom, or just to say, ‘Mom, I need you!’ Here it is ten o’clock, and I’m exhausted.”

That remark inspired my husband. “Let’s try something new each night—a chat.”

“A what?” I almost choked. I thought he was planning extra work.

“A chat—spending a few minutes with each child at the end of the day.” After he explained his plan, I agreed to give it a try.

First, we picked an appropriate bedtime for each child. Then, beginning at least one-half hour before that time, we take care of the preliminaries: baths, brushing teeth, getting drinks, reading stories.

After this, it’s time for chatting. We eliminate arguments by keeping track of whose turn it is to talk first. And we have a strict code of silence for each child until it is his turn to chat.

“What was the most fun thing you did today?” is just one way we might begin. Our children choose the topics and do the talking. We sometimes guide the conversation, encouraging topics important to the child or bringing up problems he might be facing.

Chatting sessions are great parent-teachers. Through our chats, we find out what our children are interested in and what they need help with. And no matter what, we convey a positive attitude toward each child.

Bedtime around our house is calm and peaceful now. We have grown closer to our children, and daily talks have helped us understand them better. We hope these chats will continue, in some form, throughout our lives.—Susan Tanner Holmes, Salt Lake City, Utah