Less Worrying, More Caring

Two pieces of instruction from the Sermon on the Mount, admonitions I am trying to apply in marriage, have helped renew my conviction of the power of Jesus Christ’s teachings.

My frequent resolves to try harder and do more—to be a more loving husband, a more patient father, a better employee—did not succeed because I was trying to do too much. I realized I needed to put into practice the Savior’s counsel found in Matthew 6:25–34, beginning with “Take ye no thought for your life.” In my case, I felt this meant not to worry about the multitude of comparatively little things that were occupying most of my thoughts and draining my emotional strength. If my children acted up in church, I could do my best to help them but not overreact or fret about relatively minor problems. If my wife and I disagreed on something, I needed to focus on improving communication rather than worrying about who was right or wrong. It seemed unproductive also to worry so much about my shortcomings; instead, I needed to focus on helping others.

When I worried about petty things, I was usually thinking of me rather than others; I was comparing myself to them or worrying about what they were thinking of me. But when I focused more on caring about others—especially my wife—life was more relaxed and pleasant for me and everyone around me. More important, my marriage was enhanced because a significant number of disagreements between me and my wife simply did not happen anymore.

Quitting some of my useless worrying gave me more time to care about serving others as the Savior taught in the Golden Rule (see Matt. 7:12). I learned that when I truly tried to do for my wife what I would want her to do for me—always keep promises, think before speaking, counsel with my partner about decisions, and so forth—it was what she also wanted.

As I have practiced these principles from the Sermon on the Mount without reverting to old patterns of worry or selfishness, they have helped to strengthen our marriage.—Duane L. Ostler, Snow Canyon Eighth Ward, St. George Utah Snow Canyon Stake