Dealing with Differences

Use the Friend magazine to help your family understand a different sensitive topic each month.

From a young age, children notice differences in the people around them, and when they point them out, it can be uncomfortable. But by letting children ask about differences and helping them focus on what people have in common, we have a powerful opportunity to help children see everyone as a child of God, regardless of race, religion, ability, or gender.

Talk positively about various differences people might have, and read and learn with your children about people who aren’t like you. This month’s Friend has stories that can help your family get the conversation started on just a few differences.

“Forts and Friendship” (page 10)

Callie and Marco have different religions but help each other choose the right. You could use this story to talk with your children about how their friends might do things differently from your family, but those friends can still be good examples.

“An Answer for Lucia” (page 26)

Lucia is the only member of the Church in her school. Her classmates are unkind to her because she believes in a different faith. Talk with your family about how we should treat those who are different in our school or neighborhood. We can always be kind.

“A Friend for Mr. Maurice” (page 16)

Carter thinks his neighbor Mr. Maurice is really grouchy, but then they get to know each other and become friends. What neighbors could your family get to know better? You can also read “Lucas and the Bully” (page ) and talk about the power our words can have—for bad or good.

Talking Points

If children ask about someone’s differences in public, answer honestly, apologize to the person if necessary, and don’t avoid interacting with the person just because you might feel embarrassed. We can show children that differences aren’t something to shun or be scared of.
When children make broad claims (like “boys are good at music”) or assumptions about race or religion, you can say, “Oh, who are you thinking of?” They most likely have someone in mind, and you can talk about the specific incident and explain that broad claims aren’t accurate.
Help children focus on specifics. For example, instead of declaring, “Girls can do anything,” try “You can do anything.” When we focus on generalizations (even positive or neutral ones), we teach children that being part of a group determines who you are and what you can do.