Friend Connection

Dealing with Strong Emotions

Use the Friend magazine to help your family understand a different sensitive topic each month.

Friend Connection article

Anger, anxiety, fear—children often need help understanding and dealing with strong emotions. For example, when children express anger, they may actually be feeling afraid or hungry or have some other unmet need. We can help our children understand that difficult feelings are not wrong or bad. While strong feelings are normal, sometimes they also give clues to help us identify problems that we can help children resolve.

You can use stories from this month’s Friend and the May 2017 Friend to help your children understand and deal with some of their difficult emotions.

“Peter the Pest” (Feb. 2018, page 32)

Matthew is angry when his brother Peter breaks his model dinosaur. But Matthew chooses to calm down and apologize to Peter, and their relationship grows stronger. You could use this story to help your children learn how to handle conflict and upset feelings.

“What’s on Your Mind?” (Feb. 2018, page 34)

This page gives specific ideas to help children feel better when they’re feeling angry. The glitter jar (page 35) is also a great way to help your child slow down and relax.

“Ella’s Worries” and “Worried or Afraid?” (May 2017, page 22, 24)

Ella’s worries won’t go away. She talks to her dad, and they take the first step toward helping Ella cope with her worries. Can your kids relate to Ella’s feelings? After reading about Ella, read “Worried or Afraid?” for some tips for handling worries and fears.

Talking Points

• Talk about what helps your child feel calm, and make a “calm-down plan” ahead of time. This could include taking deep breaths, asking for help, or finding a quiet place.

• When children are angry or upset, try to empathize and let your children know they’re heard. Try to stay calm, even if they aren’t.

• When children are anxious, help them name their feelings. Try, “You look like you might be feeling scared. Can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?” Reassure them that you are there, that they are safe, and that their anxious feelings will pass.

• If your child is angry, teach correct behavior without punishing for strong emotions. Try, “You don’t have to be happy, but we don’t hit.”

Find stories, activities, and media about other gospel topics at lessonhelps.lds.org. For past Friend Connection articles, visit FriendConnection.lds.org.