“How to Strengthen Your Family,” For the Strength of Youth, Dec. 2021.
Come, Follow Me
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”
How to Strengthen Your Family
You can make a bigger difference in your home than you might suspect.
When it comes to helping strengthen your family, here’s some homework that shouldn’t feel too tough: go have fun together! This direction actually comes straight from “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” issued by the First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles.
Participating in “wholesome recreational activities” as a family is listed as one of the areas that can keep your family strong and successful. There are eight other items in that same list, but let’s stay with this one just a bit longer.
Wholesome recreational activities bring us closer together and help restore our energy.
The early Church pioneers knew a thing or two about the importance of recreation to balance out a difficult day. Families often celebrated with music and dancing to keep their spirits up, even after a long day of walking.
Here’s one anonymous pioneer’s short account about this practice: “No matter how difficult had been the journey during the day, when dusk came and the camp had been pitched, the evening meal eaten, the weariness of the day was forgotten in a dance.”1
You’ve got your homework assignment: have fun with your family! What are you waiting for?
Of course, the family proclamation lists other items that help families. One in particular goes right alongside wholesome recreational activities: work.
Work
Wait, work? Isn’t that the opposite of fun? One might be tempted to ask, “How can both of these experiences help strengthen a family?”
Think of lemons and sugar. They don’t taste anything like each other. But toss them together in water, and you get lemonade.
In a general conference talk about the importance of hard work, Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles mentioned how these two principles go hand in hand.
“Having spoken in praise of labor, I must also add a kind word for leisure,” he said. “Just as honest toil gives rest its sweetness, wholesome recreation is the friend and steadying companion of work.”2
Without work, we don’t eat, enjoy shelter, or accomplish pretty much anything. Work also brings purpose to our lives that we can’t get any other way. Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once taught, “Work is always a spiritual necessity even if, for some, work is not an economic necessity.”3
Working as a family could mean finishing chores, serving others, or even providing income. Whatever its form, it draws you closer together.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles grew up in a home with a comfortable living—until World War II broke out. Then his family lost everything and became refugees.
But they pulled together! Speaking of this time, Elder Uchtdorf (then President Uchtdorf of the First Presidency), said, “To this day, I am deeply impressed by the way my family worked after having lost everything following World War II! I remember my father … taking on several difficult jobs. … My mother started a laundry and worked countless hours doing menial labor. She enlisted my sister and me in her business. With my bike I became the pickup and delivery service. It felt good to be able to help the family in a small way.”4
Hard work brings blessings, satisfaction, and, yes, closeness as a family.
Adding Strength to Your Family
Of course, those are only two of the nine attributes from the family proclamation. As we take a shorter look at the other seven, consider jotting down one or two of the nine items that you think you can work on, for now, to help strengthen your family.
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Faith
In the gospel, at the top of the list—the first principle of the gospel—is “faith in the Lord Jesus Christ” (Articles of Faith 1:4).
The more your family lives the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more you can draw heaven’s help into your home. This is true even if you’re the only one living the gospel in your home. Christ’s light makes a powerful difference to those who come in contact with it.
Do your part to bring added faith to your home.
Prayer
Praying as a family is sure to bring you closer together—especially when you pray for your family members. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught, “Do our spouses, children, and other family members … feel the power of our prayers offered unto the Father for their specific needs and desires?”5
For example, it’s a lot harder to stay mad at your sister for something that happened earlier that day when she prays out loud during family prayer that you’ll do well on your upcoming school test.
Praying for each family member by name allows you to think about each person and his or her needs. They also know you’re thinking about them.
Forgiveness, Respect, and Love
These three attributes often work together. Part of treating each other with love and respect is being willing to forgive one another. As we forgive and are forgiven, the respect and love we feel toward each other grows.
President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has taught, “Nothing is more critically connected to happiness—both our own and that of our children—than how well we love and support one another within the family.”6
Treat each other with a bit more kindness. Love more, keep score less.
Compassion
Showing compassion toward other family members means wanting to help take away some of their burdens and helping them in their struggles.
Jesus was our perfect example for showing compassion. Here’s just one of many examples in the scriptures.
When Jesus was walking away from Jericho, two blind men alongside the road called out to Him. The crowd tried to quiet these men, saying they should “hold their peace” (Matthew 20:31).
Are we ever like that crowd with our family? It’s sometimes easy to dismiss somebody who’s asking for help. “Not now!” we sometimes want to say.
But Jesus showed us a better way. When the two blind men called all the louder for Him, Jesus asked, “What will ye that I shall do unto you?” (Matthew 20:32).
They asked to have their blindness healed. “So Jesus had compassion on them, and touched their eyes: and immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed him” (Matthew 20:33–34).
Compassion isn’t always convenient, but it always reflects God’s love.
The Power of You
Ultimately, you might be tempted to think, “But I’m only one person. How much can I help?” The answer is, a whole lot! Put the family proclamation to the test.
You and your family are worth the effort.