“Antidotes to Relationship Toxins,” For the Strength of Youth, Apr. 2024.
Antidotes to Relationship Toxins
Here’s what to use to counteract the things that poison our relationships.
An antidote is a medicine that counteracts a poison or toxin. Figuratively, an antidote is something that “cures” a bad feeling or situation. For example, President Russell M. Nelson said, “Charity is the antidote to contention.”1
Not all physical poisons have antidotes. But through the Savior, we can find cures for our personal poisons—including the ones in our relationships with others.
Don’t Be Toxic!
Nobody’s perfect. We all have our moments (or hours, or days … ) when we’re not as Christlike as we know we should be. We need to keep tabs on ourselves and make sure we’re not poisoning the people around us.
Here are some antidotes to some common toxins:
Toxin: Jealousy
Why do other people seem happier/have more possessions/receive more blessings than I do?
Illustrations by Corey Egbert
An antidote: Gratitude.
Be thankful for what the Lord has given you. Try following the advice of a favorite old hymn: literally count your blessings! Name them, one by one. You’ll be surprised at how much the Lord has done for you.2
Toxin: Anger.
Deliberately or not, someone has made me mad.
An antidote: Forgiveness.
Forgiving one another is actually a commandment (see Doctrine and Covenants 64:10). The bonus is that when we forgive others, God forgives us (see Doctrine and Covenants 82:1). Plus, we often feel less anger after we’ve forgiven others.
Toxin: Pride.
I don’t want to admit I was wrong. I don’t want to fulfill an assignment because I think it’s beneath me. I don’t want to hang out with those kids because they’re not in my social group.
An antidote: Humility.
Basically: get over yourself. We are children of God, and He loves us—but at the same time, we’re all flawed mortals who aren’t “even as much as the dust of the earth” (Mosiah 2:25). The Lord gives us—all of us—weakness so that we will be humble (see Ether 12:27). And it’s always better to choose humility on your own than to wait until God compels you to be humble (see Alma 32:15–16).
What If Someone Else Is Toxic?
Charity is the antidote to a lot of things, not just contention. “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil” (Moroni 7:45). We should pray for charity (see Moroni 7:48) to help us forgive other people’s weaknesses—just as we hope they will pray for charity so they can put up with ours. We should also not be afraid to set boundaries. Forgiveness doesn’t mean staying in a toxic relationship or a harmful situation.3