Using the Language of Peacemakers
We must choose language that strengthens confidence and preserves relationships.
As the last speaker of the Sunday morning session of the April 2026 general conference, President Dallin H. Oaks said: “My brothers and sisters, as followers of Christ, let us follow Him by forgoing contention and by using the language and methods of peacemakers. In our families and other personal relationships, let us avoid what is harsh and hateful.”
As he concluded the conference on Sunday afternoon, President Oaks extended an invitation to all of us. He said, “As the messages from this conference are published, we invite all to study and ponder them prayerfully and to act in faith on the principles they explain.”
This invitation to forgo contention by using the language of peacemakers comes from the living prophet. It is not a simple suggestion; it is a call to discipleship as we follow Jesus Christ.
I began pondering on President Oaks’s invitation and how I could act with faith accordingly. It is a spiritual exercise to identify the language and expressions we need to forgo and then replace them with words and phrases that bring peace wherever we are and at all times.
From ancient times, the Lord has counseled His people to avoid contention, dispute, and language that create conflict. In Proverbs we read, “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him.” Among them are “a lying tongue, … a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”
During His earthly ministry, the Lord Jesus Christ taught:
“But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
“For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”
The Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
Likewise, in Colossians the Saints were counseled to be wise even in their speech: “Let your speech be alway with grace, … that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
I believe that all of us in this mortal journey have been hurt by some form of humiliating, degrading, or discouraging language from a family member, a colleague at work, a friend, or even a fellow member of the Church.
There are expressions and words that can damage relationships and therefore need to be forgone in our communication. Examples include: “You are useless.” “You are stupid.” “You never do anything right.” “What is wrong with you?” “This is all your fault.” “You always mess things up.” “You never listen.” “You caused this problem.” “Leave me alone.” “I do not care.” “I do not need you in my life.” “I do not care about you.” “Just stop talking.” “I am tired of you.” The list could go on. Such words never edify. They weaken love, diminish respect, and damage relationships.
Rather than choosing words and language that escalate feelings of anger, disappointment, and frustration, let us use words that encourage understanding and peace. We must choose language that strengthens confidence and preserves relationships. Words such as: “Please.” “Thank you.” “I appreciate that.” “I respect your view.” “This is a good point.” “Let us slow down and talk.” “We can work this out.” “It is OK.” “Let us stay calm.” “We don’t have to rush.” “I care about you.” “I am here for you.” “You are not alone.” “How are you feeling?” “That matters to me.” “I’m sorry.” “Please forgive me.” “I forgive you.” “Let us start again.” “I don’t want this to divide us.”
As the converted Lamanites “buried the weapons of war, for peace,” we too can bury the language of contention for peace. President Thomas S. Monson taught us “to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say.” In hymn number 224, we sing, “I must speak the loving word, ere the sun goes down.” We learn from the New Testament that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”
Therefore, let us fill our hearts with the true doctrine of Christ, which has the power to change our language and help us speak more as peacemakers today, tomorrow, and always. As we follow Jesus Christ, we will not only feel His peace, but, as Elder Ulisses Soares said, “We can become instruments of His peace in the world.”
Let us repent for the harsh language and expressions that have offended our friends, leaders, family members, or colleagues. Let us pray for peaceful communication among us, regardless of the difference in our opinions. Let us use the language that uplifts, edifies, comforts, and brings people together. Let us speak with “warm respect when we speak with each other.” “Let us qualify for His blessings by using the language … of peacemakers.”
The Savior promised, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.” This peace is real. It is powerful, and it begins with us—with our hearts, our choices, and our words.
I bear my witness that our Heavenly Father loves us and desires us to live in peace and harmony. Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. President Dallin H. Oaks is the prophet of God on the earth today, inviting us to communicate as peacemakers. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.