General Conference
Quick to Help, Slow to Judge
October 2026 general conference
8:16

Quick to Help, Slow to Judge

By Elder Paul H. Sinclair

Of the Seventy

Being quick to help and slow to judge is a simple and deeply encouraging way for each of us to be more like our Savior.

The Parable of the Baffling Buttons

“And a little child shall lead them.” Some years ago, this scripture truly came alive to me. It happened during a ward Primary program.

That Sabbath morning, my young friend James was wearing a new suit. As the program began, James was examining some of the more interesting aspects of his new suit. What most captured his attention were two features of his jacket. On his jacket sleeves there were buttons but no holes. And on the left lapel of his jacket there was a buttonhole but no buttons. Neither the buttons nor the buttonhole seemed to be serving any real purpose.

Well, James cleverly devised a purpose for both. I anxiously watched as James delightedly buttoned his right sleeve to his left jacket lapel. Being pleased with himself quickly gave way to being panicked, because once James had buttoned his arm to his chest, even with the flexibility of a Primary child, he could not get himself loose. James had unintentionally, but quite successfully, created a one-arm straitjacket.

As James became more and more stuck, I became more and more aggravated. Baffling buttons had been put to an uncomfortable and, to me, irritating purpose. I was shaking my head in disappointment as James was about to go to the pulpit.

Just then I noticed the little girl sitting next to James. She had also witnessed James’s predicament and his growing concern. But instead of being aggravated, she wanted to help. Quickly discerning what action was needed, she reached up with her tiny, nonjudgmental fingers and popped the button out of the buttonhole. James was rescued, and the Primary program was saved!

I felt relieved but also humbled. I recognized the quiet rebuke of a misplaced button and tiny fingers reminding me that I should be trying to be more like Jesus. That small but majestic moment helped me embrace what Elder Patrick Kearon has described as “a radical reorientation” of my soul. I don’t recall the topic of the Primary program that day, but the message I received through the Holy Ghost prompted a spiritual realignment. A little child led me to learn this: that a true disciple of Jesus Christ is quick to help and slow to judge.

The Savior Helps (and Does Not Judge) the Woman at the Well

The Savior taught this loving principle of discipleship from the very beginning of His mortal ministry. In the Gospel of John, He ministers to a Samaritan woman. We do not know her name. We have come to know her as “the woman at the well.” Her interaction with the Lord Jesus Christ teaches many lessons. One critical lesson is the example of the Savior being quick to offer grace and transformative help.

As the conversation opened, Jesus was weary and unexpectedly asked the woman for a drink. We can only imagine how many days this woman had been coming to this well at this hour, alone—until this day. To her, it was an ordinary day—until Jesus showed up. In her ordinary days, she may have endured many judging eyes but few helping hands—until this day.

This woman may have done more to warrant judgment than merely buttoning her sleeve to her lapel. Apparently, she had a series of broken relationships and was, at that moment, living with a man who was not her husband. But what do we actually know about her circumstances? Was she widowed? divorced? abandoned? We do not know. Now, please don’t misunderstand me. Her story is very important, but these are not the judgmental details we need to know about her journey.

What did Christ focus on instead? Help. The offer of “living water.” The Great Redeemer of all knew absolutely everything about this unnamed woman, and He came to her to be a living witness of living water. He offered her grace and transformative help.

He spoke to the woman with dignity, not shame. He earnestly listened to her questions and responded with teaching, not ridicule. He did not hold her hostage to her history. He trusted her with truth. Jesus Christ reminds us that to help people transform their lives, we must look not only to their past—we must look to their possible. She walked to the well that day as a pariah. She walked away from the well with a purpose. That is precisely what “quick to help and slow to judge” looks like.

Showing Up on the Ordinary Days of Friends and New Members

Every day, missionaries meet people at modern-day wells all around the world. They declare that Jesus is the Christ, the great “I Am.” They find, teach, baptize, and confirm people who may be in fear of judgment but in need of help. As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are invited to reorient our souls so we may help friends and new members in more Christlike ways. President Dallin H. Oaks has plainly and directly invited us to “seek to be holy, like our Savior.” Being quick to help and slow to judge is a simple and deeply encouraging way for each of us to be more holy, to be more like our Savior, to be His true disciples.

I pray that when these modern-day men and women at the well meet you and me, they will know they have “come home.” I pray they will recognize in you and me striving disciples of Jesus Christ, ready to fill them with living and loving water. I testify that when we help people, one by one, in our own small and simple ways, rather than judge them, we are preparing the world for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. I so witness and testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Notes

  1. Isaiah 11:6.

  2. I share this story with permission from James and his family.

  3. See “I’m Trying to Be like Jesus,” Children’s Songbook, 78–79.

  4. See Russell M. Nelson, “The Lord Jesus Christ Will Come Again,” Liahona, Nov. 2024, 121; see also Ronald A. Rasband, “Right Before Our Eyes,” Liahona, May 2025, 13–14, 17.

  5. Patrick Kearon, “God’s Intent Is to Bring You Home,” Liahona, May 2024, 88.

  6. President Dallin H. Oaks taught the following about being slow to judge others: “We must refrain from making final judgments on people because we lack the knowledge and the wisdom to do so. … The Lord’s way of final judgment will be to apply His perfect knowledge of the law a person has received and to judge on the basis of that person’s circumstances, motives, and actions throughout his or her entire life” (“‘Judge Not’ and Judging,” Ensign, Aug. 1999, 8; see also Matthew 7:1–5; Luke 6:37–42; 3 Nephi 14:1–12; Mormon 8:20). Likewise, Jesus consistently taught that helping others should be a hallmark of our discipleship (see Matthew 5:38–47; Mark 10:45; Luke 10:30–37). In the Book of Mormon, this characteristic of discipleship is taught in many passages, including the beautiful descriptions of the ways we can live the covenant we make at baptism. These passages illustrate many ways in which we help and serve others (see Mosiah 18:8–11; see also Jacob 2:17–19; Alma 1:26–27; 3 Nephi 13:1–4). Jesus Christ showed us the perfect example of helping without judging when He appeared to the Nephites and “tarr[ied] a little longer with them” (3 Nephi 17:5). Sparing any judgment, He ministered to every need and healed each wound simply because He was “filled with compassion” and “mercy” (3 Nephi 17:6, 7).

  7. See John 4:4–42. Others who had one-by-one ministering conversations with the Savior in the New Testament include the rich young ruler (see Matthew 19:16–22), the thief on the cross (see Luke 23:39–43), Nicodemus (see John 3:1–21), the man at the pool of Bethesda (see John 5:2–15), Pontius Pilate (see John 18:33–38), Mary Magdalene (see John 20:11–18), and Simon Peter (see John 21:15–19). Powerfully, in the Book of Mormon, Jesus Christ touched His disciples “one by one” and spoke to each of them personally (3 Nephi 18:36; see also 28:1–3).

  8. By the time the Savior met the woman at the well, the cultural and religious animosity between Jews and Samaritans was entrenched. As President Dallin H. Oaks summarized it, Samaritans “belonged to a group the Jews isolated and held in contempt” (“Alive in Christ,” Liahona, May 2026, 85). Thus, it was revealing that Jesus determined that He “had to go through Samaria” (John 4:4, New International Version; emphasis added). His decision to go intentionally to Samaria and speak to a Samaritan woman was socially radical and spiritually profound. President Oaks further taught in the April 2026 general conference that being alive in Christ includes being peacemakers (see “Alive in Christ,” 85–87). How remarkable, yet completely unsurprising, that one of the early acts of the Savior’s earthly ministry was to be a peacemaker with the woman at the well.

  9. See John 4:7. This was not the last time the Savior would be weary and ask for a drink. At the end of His mortal ministry, exhausted by His suffering and hanging from the cross, Jesus again asked for a drink (see John 19:28). As we ponder Jesus Christ ministering to the woman at the well, let us also consider the coming moment when He would once again be weary and thirsty. The crucified Savior of the world would once again be quick to help and slow to judge. He would offer His life for us (see John 19:30).

  10. There is an idiom in English and in many European languages that one should not “go to the well one too many times.” The idiom attempts to teach the principle that a person who goes too frequently to the same source of help risks depleting the value of the source until it ultimately fails (see The Free Dictionary, “go to the well too many times,” idioms.thefreedictionary.com). While the idiom is useful for describing worldly resources, it does not apply when speaking of Jesus Christ. We can never go to our own well to meet Him too many times (see Mosiah 26:30). Our effort to access Jesus Christ’s Atonement does not deplete its effectiveness, because it is infinite. Describing the glorious connection between the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the nonjudgmental help received by his brother who was dying of cancer, Bishop W. Christopher Waddell said: “Thanks to wonderful men and women who saw a need, did not judge, and ministered like the Savior, it wasn’t too late for Mike. … We must remember that it is never too late and no one has ever wandered so far from the path that he or she is beyond the reach of the infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ, which is limitless in its duration and scope” (“Just as He Did,” Liahona, May 2019, 21; emphasis added).

  11. John 4:10.

  12. As part of His offer of help, the Savior was unafraid to invite this new disciple to accept a responsibility (see John 4:7). Though the woman did not immediately respond positively to Jesus’s request, over time and with one-on-one nurturing, the woman eventually, and joyfully, accepted the most significant of assignments: to tell the world that Jesus is the Messiah. As true followers of Jesus Christ and His example, we should be unafraid to invite people, especially new members, to serve and help others as part of their journey on the covenant path (see Mosiah 5:2; see also Dale G. Renlund, “Preserving the Heart’s Mighty Change,” Liahona, Nov. 2009, 99).

  13. See Psalm 85:10.

  14. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ recognize our potential to grow into the best possible version of ourselves (see Dale G. Renlund, “Personal Preparation to Meet the Savior,” Liahona, May 2025, 44).

  15. See John 4:29. The kind of help the Savior offered did not include removing the woman from her complicated life or changing her challenging circumstances. Instead, His offer of help allowed her to walk back into her life with new purpose. David A. Bednar, then president of Brigham Young University–Idaho, taught, “As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the Atonement in our personal lives, we will pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed” (“In the Strength of the Lord” [Brigham Young University devotional, Oct. 23, 2001], 4, speeches.byu.edu).

  16. We witness the consistency of divine character when we consider another woman at the well who was also in need of help rather than judgment. In Genesis 16, after a deeply emotional conflict, Hagar fled from Abram and Sarai and was alone in the wilderness. An angel appeared to Hagar as she stopped at a wellspring. After she received heavenly encouragement, understanding, and an invitation, Hagar proclaimed, “You are the God who sees me” (verse 13, New International Version). The well where the Lord searched out Hagar was named “Beer-lahai-roi,” which means “the well of Him who liveth and seeth me” (Genesis 16:14, footnote b). As we strive to be more holy in our own ministering efforts, perhaps we can emulate Hagar’s ministering angel and be the means by which someone may come to know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ truly see them in their wilderness.

  17. Unsurprisingly, as He interacts with the woman at the well, the Savior exemplifies what has become known as “the missionary purpose.” Chapter 1 of Preach My Gospel teaches that the missionary purpose is to “invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end” (Preach My Gospel: A Guide to Sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ [2023], 1; emphasis added). Jesus invites the woman at the well to come unto Him and then helps her to do so.

  18. Exodus 3:14; see also John 4:26.

  19. Elder Quentin L. Cook reported that over a period of three years, nearly 900,000 people came into covenant as converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (see “The Lord Is Hastening His Work,” Liahona, Nov. 2025, 48). At some point, each of those new members was, in his or her own way, a man or woman at the well.

  20. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf testified that encounters with Jesus Christ change us forever. He also taught that encounters with disciples of Jesus Christ should likewise transform lives (see “Encounter at the Empty Tomb,” Liahona, May 2026, 58–61).

  21. Dallin H. Oaks, “Alive in Christ,” 87.

  22. Christlike help encourages spiritually confident discipleship. After receiving help from Jesus Christ, Peter had the confidence to leave behind his large catch of fish to follow Him (see Luke 5:11). Similarly, after experiencing the Savior’s help, the woman at the well had the confidence to leave behind her waterpot to tell everyone of the Messiah (see John 4:28).

  23. See Clark G. Gilbert, “Come Home,” Liahona, May 2026, 15–17.

  24. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf reminded us: “‘Love one another,’ Jesus said. ‘By this all will know that you are My disciples’ [John 13:34–35, New King James Version]. Very often, a person’s first testimony of Jesus Christ comes when he or she feels love among disciples of Jesus Christ” (“By This All Will Know That You Are My Disciples,” Liahona, May 2025, 51).

  25. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf summarized how our small, sometimes unnoticed gifts allow us to do simple things that represent the kind of help needed to change lives: “May I share with you some spiritual gifts that I have noticed in so many members across the world? Contemplate whether you have been blessed with one or more gifts like: Showing compassion. Noticing people who are overlooked. … Giving sincere compliments. … Explaining things simply. … Helping others know that they belong. … I hope you can see how precious [these gifts] are to the Lord’s work and how you might have touched, blessed, or even saved one of God’s children by your gifts” (“Do Your Part with All Your Heart,” Liahona, Nov. 2025, 23; see also Gerrit W. Gong, “No One Sits Alone,” Liahona, Nov. 2025, 40–43). In section 46 of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord emphasizes that the real purpose for our spiritual gifts, be they large or small, is to help Heavenly Father’s children (see Doctrine and Covenants 46:8–10, 26).

  26. President D. Todd Christofferson taught: “Adopting the character of Christ is not only a question of our personal preparation but a primary element of preparing the world for the Lord’s return and His glorious millennial reign. We tend to underestimate the influence of Christlike individuals in the world, but working one by one has always been Jesus’s approach to changing society and establishing His kingdom” (“The Character of Christ,” Liahona, May 2026, 91).