Drawn to the Temple

By Sharon M. Hawkinson

Temples have always fascinated me. As a little girl, I was awed by the Idaho Falls (Idaho) Temple, so beautiful on the banks of the Snake River. And I remember Temple Square in Salt Lake City lit up with tiny lights at Christmastime like a fairyland. As I watched my mother carefully iron her white temple clothing, I longed for the day when I could go with her to the temple.

However, when I became an adult I was inactive. I let the Church become unimportant in my life, and many years passed before I realized how important the gospel was. Finally, I started to work my way back. With sincere repentance came an intense desire to know the Lord better and to enter his temple.

Finally, my bishop assured me I was worthy for a temple recommend. On the long-awaited day when I was to receive my endowment, I wondered if I was really ready. Would I be able to live up to the covenants I would make?

I spent much of the day preparing for the session that evening. I carefully ironed each piece of temple clothing, then called my aunt to make sure she would be at the temple.

“I don’t want you to be disappointed, Sharon,” my aunt cautioned. “I’ve been through the temple many times, and I still don’t understand everything.”

I wouldn’t be disappointed, I assured her. After the years of painful, lonely inactivity, how could I feel disappointed upon entering my Father’s house? It would be like coming home. I was tingling inside and felt that perhaps angels knew I was coming.

And maybe they did. Because upon entering the temple that day, I felt a tangible warmth and comfort. My loneliness eased away because I felt that many seen and unseen sisters and brothers stood near.

“Good evening, sister,” a white-haired man greeted me as I came through the door. Tears filled my eyes as feelings of uneasiness and unworthiness left me.

“I’m finally here. This is my Father’s house.” Everything felt right and clean and light, and, most of all, familiar. I looked around eagerly, almost expecting to see him walking toward me. I had been away from home so long that I knew he’d be glad to see me.

I did not see the Lord that day, but I felt he was near, and I knew I walked on holy ground. Tears continued to fall until I walked out the front doors. I had learned this day of my past and future—that it is endless and eternal. I had sensed that my soul is noble: I am literally a daughter of God!

Deep within each of us is a longing to return and live with him again. We can’t help feeling this way; we brought this feeling with us. We are drawn to temples because our Father’s Spirit is there.