Imigomo Yokusiza Abanye, ngoFebruwari 2019

Ukukhulisa Uzwelo Lokusizana

Ukusizana ukuphakamisana. Singabaphakamisa abanye ngenkathi sizama ukuqondisisa ukuthi bezwani futhi sikhombise ukuthi sizimisele ukuhambisana nabo.

Ngoba uBaba wethu oseZulwini ufuna sifane Naye,izinkinga esihlangabezana nazo kule mpilo zingaba amathuba okufunda uma sizomethemba futhi sihlale endleleni. Okubi wukuthi ukuhlala endleleni kungaba nzima uma sibona sengathi sibhekene nalezo zinkinga sodwa.

Kepha, asidalelwanga ukuba sihambe lendlela sisodwa. UMsindisi waba nozwelo oluphelele, wehlela phansi kwazo zonke izinto ukuze akwazi ukuthi angasisiza kanjani ezinkathazweni nasebuthakathakeni bethu (bona u-Alima 7:11–12 ; IMfundiso neziVumelwano 122:8). Ulindele ukuthi nathi silandele isibonelo Sakhe ngokukhombisa uzwelo kwabanye. Wonke amalunga eBandla enze isivumelwano sokuthi “[azo]khala nalabo abakhalayo; yebo, futhi ‘[a] duduze’ should read ‘[a]duduze’ labo abadinga ukududuzwa” (Mosiya 18:9). Nakuba sibhekene nezethu izinkinga, siyafundiswa emibhalweni engcwele ukuthi “siphakamise izandla ezilengayo, futhi [siqinise] amadolo axegayo” futhi “[s]enzele izinyawo ze[thu] izindlela eziqondile ukuba okuqhugayo kungaphumi endleleni” (kumaHeberu 12:12–13; bona futhi ku-Isaya 35:3–4; IMfundiso neziVumelwano 81:5–6).

Ngenkathi sibamba abanye ngezandla, sibavumela bazimelele kithi, futhi sihambisana nabo, sibasiza ngokuthi bahlale endleleni isikhathi eside ukuze uMsindisi abaguqule—okungenye yezinjongo zokusizana—nokuthi futhi abaphilise (bona iMfundiso neziVumelwano 112:13).

Yini Uzwelo?

Uzwelo ukuqondisisa imizwa yomunye umuntu, imicabango kanye nesimo akuso ngendlela ezwa ngayo yena kunendlela esibona ngayo thina.¹

Ukuba nozwelo kubalulekile emizamweni yethu yokusiza abanye futhi nokufeza injongo yethu yokusizana njengabafowethu nodadewethu. Kusinika ithuba lokuzifaka ezicathulweni zomunye.

Ukuhamba Ezicathulweni Zomunye

Kukhona indaba exoxwayo yendoda enamahloni eyilunga laleli bandla eyayijwayele ukuhlala yodwa emuva esontweni. Ngenkathi kudlula emhlabeni ilunga lomgwamanda wamagosa, umbhishobhi wapha amalunga omndeni waleligosa izibusiso zobuphristi ukuze ‘baduduzeke.’ should read ‘aduduzeke.’ Odade beNhlangano yokuSiza yabesiFazane baletha ukudla. Abangani nomakhelwane abahlose okuhle bawuvakashela umndeni bathi, “Nisitshele uma kukhona esingakwenza ukunisiza.”

Kepha, ngenkathi lendoda enamahloni ivakashela umndeni ntambama, yangqongqoza emnyango kwathi uma umfelokazi evela, yathi, “Ngize ukuzohlanza izicathulo zakho.” Emahoreni ambalwa nje, izicathulo zomndeni wonke zahlanzwa zazinhle ukulungiselela umngcwabo. NgeSonto elilandelayo, umndeni wegosa elalishonile wahlala eduze kwalendoda enamahloni emuva esontweni.

Nansi indoda eyakwazi ukufeza isidingo. Amalunga omndeni kanye ‘nalendoda’ should read ‘nale ndoda’ abusiseka ngosizo lwalendoda eyaluletha ngenxa yozwelo eyaba nalo isiza.

Ngingalukhulisa Kanjani Uzwelo?

Abanye bethu babonakala bebusisekile ngesipho sozwelo. Kodwa kulabo abazabalazayo, kukhona izindaba ezinhle. Eminyakeni engama-30 edlule, abacwaningi abaningi bafundile ngozwelo. Nakuba benemibono eyahlukahlukene, iningi labo liyavuma ukuthi ukuba nozwelo yinto engafundeka.²

Singasikhulekela isipho sokuba nozwelo. Ukuze sikhule, kubalulekile ukuthi siqondisise kahle ukuthi uzwelo lusebenza kanjani. Lemibono elandelayo ngokujwayelekile yamukelekile njengezinto ezakha uzwelo.³ Nakuba lokhu kujwayele ukwenzeka singanakile ukuthi kuyenzeka, ukwazi ngakho kusinika ithuba lokuthi senze kangcono.

1. Qondisisa

Ukuba nozwelo kudinga ukuqondisisa kahle isimo somunye. Uma siqondisisa kahle izimo abanye abakuzo, kuba lula ukuqondisisa imizwa yabo nokuthi thina singenzani ukubasiza.

Ukulalelisisa, ukubuza imibuzo nokubonisana nabo nabanye kubaluleke kakhulu ekutheni sisiqonde isimo sabo. Ungafunda kabanzi ngakho konke lokhu kwimibhalo edlule yemiGomo yokuSizana:

• “Five Things Good Listeners Do,” i-Liahona, Juni 2018, 6.

• “Counsel abouth Their Needs,” i-Liahona, Sept. 2018, 6.

• “Involve Others in Ministering–––as Needed,” i-Liahona,Oct. 2018,6.

Ngesikhathi sifuna ukuqondisisa, kumele sithathe isikhathi siqondisise izimo zabo kunokuthi sizicabangele ngesike sakubona komunye. Uma kungenjalo, ngeke sabasiza ngalutho futhi sizobashiya bebona sengathi asibaqondi kahle.

2. Cabanga

Emizamweni yethu yokugcina isivumelwano sethu sokukhala nabakhalayo nokududuza abadinga ukududuzwa, singakhulekela ukuthi uMoya oyiNgcwele usisize siqonde kahle ukuthi omunye umuntu uzizwa kanjani nokuthi singamsiza kanjani.⁴

Uma sesiqonda isimo somunye, umuntu ngamunye—noma ngabe kwenzeka kalula noma cha—engakwazi ukucabanga ukuthi engacabangani noma ezizwe kanjani uma ekuleso simo yena uqobo. Ukuqondisisa leyo micabango nemizwa, kanye nokuholwa uMoya oNgcwele, kungasisiza ngempendulo esimweni sabo.

Uma sesiqonda kahle ngesimo somunye umuntu futhi sesicabanga ukuthi thina singazizwa kanjani uma sikuleso simo, futhi kubalulekile ukuthi singabehluleli ngokungalungile (bona kuMathewu 7:1). Ukubhekisisa ukuthi umuntu ungene kanjani esimweni akuso kungadala ukuthi singabuboni ubuhlungu umuntu akubo.

3. Phendula

Kubalulekile ukubheka indlela esiphendula ngayo ngoba uzwelo esinalo ‘lubonakalalapho’ should read ‘lubonakala lapho’. Ziningi izindlela esingaxhumana ngazo nabanye ukukhombisa ukuthi siqondisisa kangakanani. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi injongo yethu akukona ukuxazulula inkinga. Imvamisa injongo ukubaphakamisa nokubaqinisa ngokubazisa ukuthi ababodwa. Ukuzwelana nomunye kungenza sithi, “Ngiyajabula ukuthi ungitshelile” noma sithi, “Ngiyaxolisa. Kufanele ukuthi kubuhlungu lokho.”

Ngazo zonke izikhathi, indlela esiphendula ngayo kufanele ikhombise ukuthi sineqiniso. Ngezikhathi ezifanele, ukuvumela abanye babone ubuthakathaka bakho nokwesaba kwakho kungenza kubekhona ukwethembana.

Isimemo Sokwenza Okuthile

Ngenkathi ucabanga ngezimo zalabo obasizayo, ake ucabange usesimweni sabo nokuthi yikuphi wena ongakubona kufanele ukwenze. Khulekela ukuthi uqonde kahle imizwa yabo bese wenza okufanele. Lokho ozokwenza kungabonakala kulula, kodwa kuyoba nomthelela omkhulu.

© 2019 ngabakwa Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. Kushicelelwe e-USA. Usukuokuvunywe ngalo ukuba lesi sifundo sikhishwe: 6/18. Usuku okuvunywe ngalo ukuba lezi zifundo zihunyushwe: 6/18. Ukuhunyushwakwe Ministering Principles, February 2019. Zulu. 15763 783

Imithombo okuthathwe kuyo leMfundiso

1. Bona ku W. Ickes, Empathic Accuracy (1997); and M. L. Hoffman, Empathy and Moral Development: Implications for Caring and Justice (2000).

2. Njengesibonelo bona , ku-Emily Teding van Berkhout and John M. Malouff, “The Efficacy of Empathy Training: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials,” Journal of Counseling Psychology (2016), 63(1), 32–41.

3. Njengesibonelo, bona kuBrené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) (2008); Theresa Wiseman, “A Concept Analysis of Empathy,” Journal of Advanced Nursing (1996), 23, 1162–67; and Ed Neukrug and others, “Creative and Novel Approaches to Empathy: a Neo-Rogerian Perspective,” Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 35(1) (Jan. 2013), 29–42.

4. Bona kuHenry B. Eyring, “The Comforter,” Liahona, Meyi 2015, 17–21.

UJesu Kristu Wayesiza Ngozwelo

Ngenkathi uJesu Kristu eziveza kwamaNefi, wawafundisa waze wabona ukuthi, esimweni ababekusona, babengakwazi ukuqonda konke ayezobafundisa kona. Kodwa futhi wayazi nokuthi babengafuni ukuthi ahambe.

Wabe eseyeka ukubafundisa ngokuchaza ivangeli kodwa wabasiza ngezidingo zabo—wabamema ukuba balethe phambili abagulayo, abaqhugayo, izimpumphuthe, nabakhubazekile. Wabelapha. Wabe esebakhulekela futhi wasiza abantwana babo, echitha ‘iskhathi’ should read ‘isikhathi’ sakhe nabo, umntwana ngamunye, ukuze ebabusise.

Singafundani ngesibonelo somSindisi sokukhombisa uzwelo ngesikhathi esiza amaNefi?

“Imigomo Yokusizana” yenzelwe ukusisiza sifunde ukunakekelana—hhayi ukuba sifundisane ngayo njengomlayezo. Ngenkathi sazana nalabo esibasizayo, uMoya oyiNgcwele uzosikhombisa umyalezo abawudingayo ngaphezulu kwemizamo yethu yokubanakekela nokubazwela.