Ukulungiselela KukuBona Abanye ngohlobo uMsindisi Ababona Ngalo

UYesu wachitha elininzi kwixesha laKhe nabo babebonwa njengokuba bahlukile; Yena wayebona ubunyulu abasenokuba nako.

Kwiinzame zethu zokulungiselela njengoMsindisi, sisenokucelwa ukuba silungiselele kumntu owahlukileyo kuthi. Oku kusiphathela ithuba lokuba sifunde kwaye sikhule.

Iyantlukwano yezenkcubeko, yemfundo, yobuhlanga, yoqoqosho, yobudala, yempatho yexesha elidlulileyo okanye yeli limiyo, okanye omnye umahluko kungakwenza lula ukuba sigwebe omnye phambi kokuba simazi. Oku kugweba kwangaphambili kusembindini wocalu-calulo, kwaye uMsindisi walumkisa ngako (bona 1 Samweli 16:7; Yohane 7:24).

Singakwazi ukujonga ngaphaya komahluko kwaye sibone abanye njengoko uMsindisi esenza njalo? Singafunda njani ukuthanda abanye ngokwabantu abangabo kwanabanokuba ngabo?

Ukubona nokuThanda

IBhayibhile ichaza ngebali eliqhelekileyo lendodana esisityebi eyabuza ukuba buzuzwa njani ubomi obungunaphakade: “Uthe ke uYesu ejonge kuye wamthanda, wathi kuye, Kukho ntonye uyisweleyo: hamba uyekuthengisa ngeento zonke onazo, unike amahlwempu, woba nobutyebi emazulwini: yiza ke, undilandele, uwuthwele umnqamlezo” (Marko 10:21).

Xa uMdala S. Mark Palmer wabeQumrhu lamaShumi asiXhenxe wayefunda esi sibhalo kwiminyaka ethile egqithileyo, indawo entsha kwelibali yaqaqamba kuye.

“‘Uthe ke uYesu ejonge kuye wamthanda.’

“Njengoko ndandisiva la mazwi, umfanekiso ngqondweni ocacileyo wazalisa ingqondo yam ngeNkosi yethu imile kwaye ijonge le ndodana. Ukujonga—njengokujonga ngokunzulu nangokuhlabayo emphefulweni wakhe, eqaphela ukulunga kwakhe kunye noko wayenokuba kuko, kwakunye nokubona esona sidingo sikhulu awayenaso.

“Emva koko amagama alula—uYesu wamthanda. Yena wayesiva uthando nemfesane egubungelayo ngalendodana ilungileyo, kwaye ngenxa yoluthando kwaye nakwangalo thando, uYesu wamcela okungakumbi. Ndabanomfanekiso wokuba kwakunokuvakala njani kule ndodana ukugutyungelwa luthando olunjalo nangona wayecelwa ukuba enze into enzima ngamandla njengokuthengisa konke oko wayenako kwaye akunike kwabo basweleyo. …

“[Mna ndazibuza] ‘Ndingazaliswa njani ngothando lukaKrestu ukuze [abanye] babenokuva uthando lukaThixo ngam kwaye babenomnqweno wokutshintsha?’ Ndingajonga njani [abantu abandingqongileyo] ngendlela efanayo naleyo iNkosi eyajonga ngayo indodana esisityebi, ndibabona njengabobantu bangabo ngokwenene kunye nabo banokuba ngabo, kunoko kuphela bakwenzayo okanye abangakwenziyo? Ndingaba njengoMsindisi ngokungakumbi njani?”¹

Ukufunda ukuBona Abanye

Ukufunda ukubona abanye ngendlela uMsindisi enza ngayo kuzisa imbuyiselo efudumeleyo. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso ezinokunceda njengoko sisebenza ekuphumeleliseni le mbono.

Bazi Bona
Yenza umzamo wokwazi abantu ukwegqitha iinkcukacha zolwazana. Qaphela ukuba ukwakha ubudlelwane kuthatha ixesha kunye nomzamo wokwenene. (Bona inqaku leyeThupha 2018 layo iMigaqo Yokulungiselela elithi “Building Meaningful Relationships” ngalo uncedo.)
Zivavanye Wena Buqu
Qaphela izigwebo onokuba uzenza ngokusengqondweni okanye ngokungekho sengqondweni. Qaphela izinto onokuba uyazicingela ngabanye kwaye uzame ukuqonda ukuba kutheni uziva ngabo ngohlobo oziva ngalo.
Sibambe Isigwebo
Qaphela ukuba iimeko azichazi ukuxabiseka komntu. Zifake ezihlangwini zabo kwaye ucingisise ukuba ungafuna omnye umntu akubone njani ukuba ubukwiimeko ezifanayo. Ukwahlula ukukhetha komntu nokuziphatha kwinxenye yexabiso analo kunye nobunyulu anokuba nabo kungasinceda ukuba simbone ngendlela uMsindisi anokumbona ngayo.
Thandazela Ukuba ubaThande
Bathandazele rhoqo ngegama kwaye thandazela nomonde wokuphuhlisa ubuhlobo bokwenyani. Thabatha ingqwalasela ngomthandazo ekuncedeni kwakho. Ingaba kukhona isikhewu phakathi koko ukwenzayo kunye noko bakudinga ngokwenene?

UYesu wachitha ixesha laKhe ekunye nabantu ababesuka kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi: izityebi, amahlwempu, abalawuli, kunye nabantu nje besiqhelo. Yena wayesoloko elixhoba lokugwetywa ngokungachanekanga ngabanye xa babemjonge kunye nenkangeleko Yakhe yobuhlwempu okanye iimeko ezingabalulekanga. “Kwaye xa siya kumbona, akuyi kubakho kubukeka kuye ukuba singamnqwenela. … Wayethiyiwe, kwaye sasingamboneli ntweni” (Isaya 53:2–3).

Umbono ofana nokaKrestu

Udade wabelana ngelibali lokubona ummelwane ngamehlo kaKrestu:

“UJulia (igama litshintshiwe) wayehlala kufuphi nam kwaye ekhangeleka engenabahlobo. Yena wayesoloko ekhangeleka ecaphukile kwaye enomsindo. Ngaphandle koko, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndibe ngumhlobo wakhe. Hayi umhlobo nje, kodwa umhlobo wokwenyani. Ndandithetha naye qho xa ndimbona kwaye ndabonakalisa umdla kuko konke awayekwenza. Kancinane kancinane, ndakha unxibelelwano lobuhlobo naye, olwazisa uvuyo entliziyweni yam.

“Ngenye imini, ndagqiba ekubeni ndityelele uJulia kwaye ndimbuze ngesizathu sakhe sokungezi enkonzweni.

“Ndafunda into yokuba akanalo usapho nezihlobo apha kufuphi. Umntakwabo ekuphela kwakhe, ubhuti wakhe ohlala kude kakhulu, uqhagamshelana naye ngomnxeba kanye kuphela ngonyaka. Njengoko ndandimmamele ephalaza intlungu yakhe, umsindo, kunye nodandatheko ngosapho lwakhe kunye neBandla, umzwa ongaphikekiyo wemfesane nothando ngalodade wandifikela ngamandla. Ndayiva intlungu nodandatheko lwakhe. Ndaqaphela indlela obabulilolo ngalo ubomi bakhe. Kwakungathi ndandisiva isaci esithuleyo emva kwam: ‘Nam ndiyamthanda ngokunjalo. Mthande kwaye umhloniphe.’

“Ndahlala kwaye ndamamela wade waphelelwa yinto yokuthetha. Ndamvela uthando kunye nemfesane. Lo ngudade owayengakwazi ukuba kunjani ukuthandwa. Ngesaquphe ndamqonda ngokunzulu ngakumbi. Ndambulela ngokundivumela ukuba ndimtyelele, kwaye ndamshiya ngokumwola kunye nothando nentlonipho. Akanakuze akwazi ukuba wandichukumisa kangakanani na kolotyelelo. UBawo oseZulwini uvule amehlo wam kwaye wandifundisa ukuba ndinako ukuthanda ngemfesane eyongezelelekileyo. Ndizimisele kwisisombululo sam sokuba ndingabi ngumhlobo kuphela kuye kodwa ndibelulo nosapho lwakhe.”

Yinto engcwele ukuba umenyelwe kubomi bomnye umntu. Ngomthandazo, umonde, kunye noncedo loMoya, singafunda ukwenza njalo ngongakumbi umbono ofana nokaKrestu.