Digital Only
What If My Prayers Don’t Seem to Be Answered?
Consider these seven ideas to learn more about how Heavenly Father answers every righteous prayer.
Illustration by Paul Mann
Repeatedly throughout scripture, we read the promise, “Ask of God; ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Joseph Smith Translation, Matthew 7:12 [in Matthew 7:7, footnote a]). Given that promise, how do we proceed when we feel that our prayers, pleadings, and desires go unanswered?
A natural response may sometimes be to wonder if God really hears or answers our prayers, or maybe we might think, “He answers everyone’s prayers but mine.” But there are other responses that can help us find the strength or hope to move forward in faith or recognize the many ways Heavenly Father may already be answering our prayers.
Each response can begin with having faith in God, who is “a God of truth, and canst not lie” (Ether 3:12; see also Titus 1:2). When we remember that doctrine, we need not wonder if God will answer our prayers and can instead focus our energy on looking for His hand and guidance in our lives, knowing that He does answer every prayer. These seven approaches share some of the many principles that can help us see how we may receive and recognize blessings and answers from Heavenly Father in our lives.
1. Trust that God wants what is best for you.
Our ability to move forward in faith can improve greatly when we remember that Heavenly Father always has our best interests in mind. As Elder Richard G. Scott (1928–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, rather than answering every prayer the way we want, He will, in His mercy, “always answer your prayers in the way and in the time that will be for your best eternal good.”1
As we learn to trust that Heavenly Father truly will answer in the best way for us, we can find peace and gratitude instead of disappointment when prayers aren’t answered the way we might have hoped. We can “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power,” with anticipation for “his arm to be revealed” (Doctrine and Covenants 123:17) in more joyous blessings to come.
2. Study it out and seek specific direction.
President Russell M. Nelson taught that “the Lord loves effort.”2 We can’t expect answers if we’re not willing to put in the work. When Oliver Cowdery did not receive a blessing he sought, the Lord reminded him (and us):
“Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
“But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right” (Doctrine and Covenants 9:7–8).
If we are waiting for a specific answer to a general question, then we might want to instead change to a studied-out, specific question and then seek confirmation. For example, if we are praying to know “What should I do next?” without doing much more than praying for direction, then instead we may need to make sure we have explored our possibilities, weighed them thoroughly, and followed gospel principles in selecting the best option, and then present that option to the Lord for confirmation that it is the right choice.
3. Be open to multiple possibilities.
Remembering that God’s “ways [are] higher than [our] ways” (Isaiah 55:9; see also verse 8) can help us be open to the different ways Heavenly Father might be answering our prayers. For instance, Elder Scott taught how prayers to be healed can be answered in many ways: “It is important to understand that His healing can mean being cured, or having your burdens eased, or even coming to realize that it is worth it to endure to the end patiently, for God needs brave sons and daughters who are willing to be polished when in His wisdom that is His will.”3
Studying scriptures and prophetic teachings associated with the topic we are praying for can help us recognize answers—in many forms—that Heavenly Father may send us. Doing so helps us avoid being myopic4 and instead be open to God’s will and knowledge.
4. Humbly accept a “no.”
Sometimes what is “for [our] best eternal good” is to receive the answer of “no.” When that happens, we can find strength in this counsel from President Nelson, which can help us recognize God’s love and mercy:
“Not all of our prayers will be answered as we might wish. Occasionally the answer will be no. We should not be surprised. Loving mortal parents do not say yes to every request of their children. …
“We should pray in accord with the will of our Heavenly Father. He wants to test us, to strengthen us, and to help us achieve our full potential. When the Prophet Joseph Smith was held in Liberty Jail, he pled for relief. His prayers were answered with an explanation: ‘All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good’ [Doctrine and Covenants 122:7].”5
When we receive a “no,” we can find a different strength in looking for all the growth, experiences, and goodness that are coming from our circumstances.
5. Remember that God honors agency.
Some answers we pray for may require us to first use our agency and act in faith before receiving an answer. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught that when the children of Israel needed to cross the river Jordan, they did not see the water part until after they had stepped into it (see Joshua 3:15–16). As he taught, “True faith is focused in and on the Lord Jesus Christ and always leads to action.”6
Are we willing to act in faith without an answer and trust in the promises and teachings of God? If so, we might find that Heavenly Father is waiting to give us a response until “after the trial of [our] faith” (Ether 12:6). Sometimes the action we need to take may not relate directly to the desire we seek but rather to a change of heart to prepare us to receive the answer.
For example, notice the role of humility in relation to the blessings promised in Doctrine and Covenants 112:10: “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers.” We can consider how humility might help us use our agency to seek and receive the blessings that Heavenly Father wants to give us.7 We can also study the word of God to find other attributes we can develop to qualify us to receive some blessings we seek.
Alternatively, some answers we pray for may require others to use their agency to act. For instance, we may pray that someone returns to full activity in the Church, changes a behavior, or gives us an opportunity we want. In each case, another person’s agency is involved. And because agency is so important to Heavenly Father—“the very War in Heaven was waged over our moral agency”8—it’s important to remember that He won’t take away another’s agency even to answer our prayers.
If we can’t seem to find answers to a prayer that depend upon another’s actions, rather than praying only for the other person to change, we can also pray to know what we can do to increase love or patience in our relationships, overcome our own weaknesses (see Matthew 7:3–5), or improve in skills to help us qualify for a new opportunity.
6. Be “worthy to receive revelation.”9
If we are having a hard time receiving answers to prayer, we can make sure we are worthy of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. President Nelson taught: “If something is stopping us from opening the door to heavenly direction, we may need to repent. Repentance allows us to open the door so we can hear the voice of the Lord more frequently and clearly.”10
This includes managing our emotions. Elder Scott taught: “The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.”11
Read about how we can more fully purify our lives to receive direction from Heavenly Father in “Grow into the Principle of Revelation,” by President Nelson, and “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance,” by Elder Scott.
7. Keep praying and hold on to faith.
Whatever you do, don’t stop praying. “Pray even when you have no desire to pray,” taught Elder Scott.12 Use this moment to secure, more than ever before, your spiritual foundation.
Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught why this is so essential: “When faced with a trial of faith—whatever you do, you don’t step away from the Church! Distancing yourself from the kingdom of God during a trial of faith is like leaving the safety of a secure storm cellar just as the tornado comes into view.”13
As Elder James B. Martino of the Seventy reminded us: “If you ‘have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?’ [Alma 5:26]. If you do not feel it now, you can feel it again, but consider Nephi’s counsel [in 1 Nephi 15:10–11]. Be obedient, remember the times when you have felt the Spirit in the past, and ask in faith. Your answer will come, and you will feel the love and peace of the Savior. It may not come as quickly or in the format you desire, but the answer will come. Do not give up! Never give up!”14
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught that when “prayers … seem to go unanswered and unanswered and unanswered, … you need faith.” That faith, he said, needs to be “powerful faith, faith that sustains us here and now, not just on the day of judgment or somewhere in celestial glory.”15