Answers to Questions about Sexual Assault

By Melissa K. Goates-Jones, Psychologist and Assistant Professor, Brigham Young University, and Benjamin M. Ogles, Psychologist and Professor, Brigham Young University

Through Jesus Christ, there is hope and healing. Here are some ways we can help and not hurt those who have been affected by sexual assault.

Sexual assault is a widespread problem that can cause devastating harm to God’s children. Accurate global statistics for the prevalence of sexual assault for both men and women are difficult to find,¹ but estimates in the United States indicate that 44 percent of women and 25 percent of men are victims of sexual violence. ²

As we learn about sexual assault and unite in our efforts to help survivors and promote respect for others, we can help reduce sexual violence around the world.

What is sexual assault?

Sexual assault is when someone imposes any unwanted sexual activity on another person without their permission or consent. Sexual assault is a grave sin.³ Offenders rebel against God, breaking the law of chastity and treating their victims as objects to satisfy selfish desires. They ignore and violate their victims’ agency, taking away their right to act and not be acted upon. Those who force or pressure someone into sexual contact take part in one of the most personal and invasive forms of violence.

When we think of sexual assault, we often imagine an offender hiding in a dark alley, ready to attack. This is known as stranger rape. However, most sexual assaults happen in established relationships where a spouse, family member, dating partner, friend, or other acquaintance ignores the concept of consent.⁴

Unfortunately, in some cultures the concept of consent isn’t commonly taught, and when media portray physical intimacy, consent is often ignored or wrongly depicted as unnecessary or unwanted. Disregarding consent is never acceptable to God.

What is consent and when has it been violated?

Consent is a word closely related to agency. Agency is the God-given power to act and not be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:14, 16, 26; Moses 7:32). We are taught to honor the agency of others and not disregard it through coercion, compulsion, or force (see Doctrine and Covenants 121:39–44; Moses 4:3).

Consent is used in a variety of contexts, such as in the legal, ethical, social science, and medical fields. For example, a doctor does not perform surgery on your body without first asking for your clearly given permission.

In the context of physical affection and sexual intimacy, consent means that a person must willingly, freely, and clearly agree to touching, kissing, or any other intimate act. Otherwise, he or she is being acted upon and has not consented.

It is important to understand that consent cannot be given when:

1. A person is asleep, unconscious, or under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or medications.

2. The person does not have the intellectual capacity to agree to sexual contact.

3. The person is younger than the legal age of consent.

4. Someone tricks, forces, or controls the other person.

It is also important to understand that absence of resistance is not consent. If a person doesn’t resist physical contact or stops resisting, it does not mean that the person has given consent. Psychologists note that “freezing” or being immobilized by fear are common reactions to unwanted physical touch.⁵

In addition, consent must be ongoing. Consenting to a type of physical intimacy once does not imply consent to the same behavior in the future.

How does sexual assault affect survivors?

When someone violates another’s boundaries through unwanted sexual contact, the survivor may suffer in many ways.

“While some types of abuse may cause physical harm, all forms of abuse affect the mind and spirit. Victims of abuse often struggle with feelings of confusion, doubt, guilt, shame, mistrust, and fear. They may feel helpless, powerless, lonely, and isolated. They may even question the love of Heavenly Father and their own divine worth.”⁶

What do I do if I have been assaulted?

Know that you are not alone. Remember that Heavenly Father loves you. In addition to the opportunity to pray and seek comfort and revelation from Him, He has also provided many other ways to support you.

Reach out. Talk to trusted friends, family, Church leaders, or other individuals who can provide safety and support. You may find peace and healing more quickly as you discuss your experience with trusted individuals who share your beliefs and invite them to support you on your journey forward.

Know it is not your fault. You may feel confused, frightened, or ashamed, but you are not to blame for the actions of the offender.

Seek help. Your healing can be facilitated through additional resources, such as:

• Appropriate medical care.

• Professional counseling.

• Legal counsel.

• Church materials referenced under “Abuse” at topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

Seek hope and healing through Jesus Christ. As Elder Richard G. Scott (1928–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “Our [Heavenly] Father provided a way to heal the consequences of acts that, through force, misuse of authority, or fear of another, temporarily take away the agency of the abused.” He explained: “Faith in Jesus Christ and in His power to heal provides the abused with the means to overcome the terrible consequences of another’s unrighteous acts.”⁷ Consider reading more from the life and teachings of Jesus Christ to understand how He can help you heal.

Finding peace and healing may be a long, hard process, but it is possible through Jesus Christ. He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind” and took “upon him [our] infirmities, that his bowels [might] be filled with mercy … that he [might] know … how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11–12).

How can I help someone who has been assaulted?

While the experience of each sexual assault survivor may vary, here are some ways you can help.

Listen with love and compassion. Express your concern and desire to help them. Find out if they are in immediate danger and help them find safety and refuge.

Connect them. Help connect them to medical care, professional counseling, or other community resources, like rape crisis centers, that help survivors.

Encourage them. Encourage them to report abuse to the appropriate authorities. Reporting the assault or abuse yourself may be a legal requirement in your country, especially if you are a Church leader. In some countries, the Church has established a confidential abuse help line that can assist stake presidents and bishops in reporting the assault and in supporting the survivor.⁸

Support them. Survivors sometimes think the assault or abuse was their fault. Because survivors may believe they broke the law of chastity and need to repent, it is important for bishops, parents, teachers, youth leaders, and others to recognize the signs of assault or abuse so they can provide support and encourage healing.

Remember that because survivors’ agency was violated, repentance is not needed. The General Handbook states: “Sometimes victims have feelings of shame or guilt. Victims are not guilty of sin. Leaders do not blame the victim. They help victims and their families understand God’s love and the healing that comes through Jesus Christ and His Atonement (see Alma 15:8; 3 Nephi 17:9).”⁹

Be sensitive to their needs. Survivors may be uncomfortable with physical contact such as handshakes or hugs. They may be uncomfortable meeting alone with a leader. Or they may feel trapped if the room is too small or if you sit between them and the door. Simple considerations can make a difference to someone seeking healing from a traumatic experience like assault.

What are some recommendations for offenders?

Some who read this article may recognize that they have violated another’s agency. They may have used force or pressure, intentionally ignored boundaries, or wrongly assumed another person’s wishes about physical intimacy.

If you have committed this sin, essential steps include the need to accept responsibility, see your bishop, repent, cooperate with legal authorities when necessary, and seek professional help. “The seriousness of your acts may require you to face civil and Church discipline. But full repentance will bring the sweet relief of forgiveness, peace of conscience, and a renewed life.”¹⁰

Discover More

Visit “Abuse” in the Life Help section of ChurchofJesusChrist.org for more resources for survivors, loved ones, and leaders.

Leaders: Find resources for helping victims and helping offenders in “Counseling Resources” on ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

Learn how “Honoring Agency in Physical Intimacy” can strengthen our relationships and help us reach our divine potential (see pages 12–15 in this issue).

Notes

1. See Emily R. Dworkin and others, “The Global Prevalence of Sexual Assault: A Systematic Review of International Research since 2010,” Psychology of Violence, vol. 11, no. 5 (Sept. 2021), 497–508.

2. See Sharon G. Smith and others, The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2015 Data Brief—Updated Release (2018), 2–3, cdc.gov.

3. See General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 38.6.18, ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

4. See Gospel Topics, “Abuse,” topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

5. See Rebecca Campbell, “The Neurobiology of Sexual Assault: Implications for Law Enforcement, Prosecution, and Victim Advocacy” (video), Dec. 1, 2012, National Institute of Justice, nij.ojp.gov/media/video/24056.

6. Gospel Topics, “Abuse.” See also Patrick Kearon, “He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors,” Liahona, May 2022, 37–40.

7. Richard G. Scott, “To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse,” Liahona, May 2008, 42, 40.

8. See General Handbook, 38.6.2.1.

9. General Handbook, 38.6.18.2.

10. Richard G. Scott, “To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse,” 43.