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Shifting My Perspective of Chronic Challenges
When we face challenges that may not be resolved, how can we move forward with faith?
Isn’t it nice to have a plan for your life? To have everything figured out? I thought I did, until I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition called polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
When I was diagnosed, I grew angry and confused at times, and I focused all of my energy on getting rid of this condition.
I later realized that that wasn’t how God wanted me to view this trial. The Spirit helped me break free of these three unhealthy perspectives I struggled with and replace them with better ones:
“This Challenge Is My Fault” “This Challenge Is Not My Fault—It’s Simply Part of Mortality”
At first, I thought I had done something wrong to deserve this disease and that if I changed my habits, I could be “fixed.”
I obsessively researched and tried many “solutions” that did little to help.
When I turned to Heavenly Father for answers, the Spirit helped me realize that we aren’t to blame for many struggles we face—some challenges just come with mortality. Elder Anthony D. Perkins of the Seventy said, “Suffering does not mean God is displeased with your life.”1 By letting go of blame and turning to faith, I was able to find hope and peace.
“This Problem Needs to Go Away” “I Can Find Joy Even if This Problem Sticks Around”
I believed that I could be healed completely if I just had enough faith, and I was constantly disappointed when I wasn’t. Eventually I learned that it’s also important to have faith not to be healed.
I love the message Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared about a young man with cancer who asked for a priesthood blessing of healing. However, Elder Bednar told him that to be healed, he needed to have faith not to be healed as well. He said, “[he] needed to overcome, through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, the ‘natural man’ tendency in all of us to demand impatiently and insist incessantly on the blessings we want and believe we deserve.”2
Faith in God can lead to miracles—if that is God’s will. But if we aren’t experiencing miracles, then what do we do next?
In the New Testament, Paul talks about praying to remove a “thorn in the flesh” (see 2 Corinthians 12:7). Although his problem wasn’t immediately resolved, Paul learned to trust in God and rely on Him for strength to deal with a difficult challenge: “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
My “thorn in the flesh” has also helped me rely on God, thereby turning my weakness into a strength. I’ve learned that overcoming challenges can mean being able to manage them by relying on strength from the Savior, rather than getting rid of them altogether.
Faith in God can lead to miracles—if that is Heavenly Father’s will. But if we aren’t experiencing the miracles we seek in the way we hoped, we can still see His hand miraculously working throughout our life. As President Russell M. Nelson taught: “Do the spiritual work to seek miracles. Prayerfully ask God to help you exercise that kind of faith. I promise that you can experience for yourself that Jesus Christ ‘giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength’ [Isaiah 40:29].”3
“There’s No Hope” “There is Always Hope”
A painful aspect of having PCOS is infertility. When I first realized it would be difficult for me to have children, I felt angry and betrayed.
As I have relied on Christ, I have learned to trust in God’s will and timing.
I don’t know if I will have children in this life, but I believe, as Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, that “we have every reason to hope for blessings even greater than those we have already received.”4
Even if your challenges aren’t resolved, there is always hope: hope in joy, hope in helping others through the empathy you’ve gained through your experiences, and hope in many blessings to come.
I still struggle at times with unhealthy perspectives about my challenges, but when I do, I look toward the Savior and His promises. If I keep trying to improve in small ways each day, trusting God, and asking Him and others for help, my future will be filled with joy and blessings—and so will yours.