“Healed in the Temple,” Liahona, Sept. 2023.
Latter-day Saint Voices
Healed in the Temple
In the temple, I felt a deep assurance that the Lord loves me and is mindful of my struggles.
Photograph courtesy of the author; background photograph of Durban South Africa Temple by Matthew Reier
Our first son was stillborn in 2017. Nine months before the Durban South Africa Temple was dedicated in 2020, our second son was stillborn.
At the time, I felt like Hannah of the Old Testament. I “was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore” (1 Samuel 1:10).
I felt helpless and angry, and I was in excruciating pain. I struggled emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Holding on to the rod felt like holding on to a thread that was gradually slipping from my hands. I was truly burning in “the furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10).
I am so grateful that I received help and healing from my family, the scriptures, and prayer. I also received help from counselors. The culmination of my healing, however, came in the temple.
As I began serving in the temple, I began to be filled with increased light. I felt at home there. I also felt a deep assurance that the Lord loves me and is mindful of my struggles.
As I continued serving in the house of the Lord, I began to look at the names of my ancestors in a different way. They weren’t just names. I realized, for example, that one ancestor was a daughter, a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a niece. Her passing must have been hard for surviving relatives. But the blessings offered this ancestor in the temple through sacred vicarious ordinances constitute a great and sweet joy that surpasses any pain her living relatives might have felt at her passing.
This understanding has blessed me as I have thought about our precious boys, the eternal nature of our spirits, and Heavenly Father’s plan of salvation. Losing our boys prompts me to do my best to live the gospel.
Some days are still harder than others. But holding on to my covenant promises makes those days easier.
To borrow the words of President Russell M. Nelson, “We miss our [sons] greatly. However, because of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, we do not worry about [them]. As we continue to honor our covenants with God, we live in anticipation of our being with [them] again.”1