5 Lessons from Nephi for When Life Isn’t Going as Planned

By Abigail Larkins

Church Magazines

We can learn from Nephi’s responses to challenges and uncertainty.

Young adulthood is an exciting time of life, filled with opportunities for growth and change. But it’s also a phase full of expectations—expectations we put on ourselves, cultural or social expectations, and even expectations in Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. We may have certain ideas about what our career or social life should look like or a timetable for when we should reach significant milestones. And we may assume we’ll be given everything we desire if we are righteous and stay close to the Lord.

But the truth is, life rarely plays out the way we expect it to.

If life isn’t going the way you planned, you are not alone. Nephi, one of the great Book of Mormon prophets, was also no stranger to disappointment and unforeseen challenges.

Things went wrong continually while Nephi and his family were traveling to the promised land. But despite significant setbacks and receiving abuse and resistance, Nephi persevered through less-than-ideal circumstances, trusting in the Lord. Here are five things Nephi’s example teaches us to do when life isn’t going as planned.

Try Again (1 Nephi 4:1–3)

Following Laman’s unsuccessful attempt to retrieve the brass plates from Laban, Nephi and his brothers tried again. This time, Laban sent his guards after them and the brothers narrowly escaped to safety. When an angel came to chastise Laman and Lemuel for attacking Sam and Nephi out of discouragement, he commanded them to again try to retrieve the plates. Upon this third attempt, Nephi was successful.

Part of what Nephi’s experience teaches us is that even though we may not experience success in the way we anticipate, if we keep trying, the Lord will help us progress, learn, and grow as we continue to put our trust in Him.

Forgive (1 Nephi 7:20–21)

After Ishmael’s family joined Lehi’s family in the wilderness, Laman and Lemuel and some of Ishmael’s children rebelled against Nephi. They bound his hands and feet and planned to leave him for dead. But, with strength from the Lord, Nephi burst the bands. When Laman and Lemuel begged for forgiveness, Nephi didn’t punish them with animosity, self-righteousness, or criticism. He forgave them quickly and moved forward in obedience to the Lord.

Sometimes the last thing we want to do is forgive someone who has hurt us. But as we let go of bitterness and resentment, we can welcome peace into our lives and spare ourselves and others unnecessary suffering. And we can continue to move forward with hope and peace in Christ.

Act (1 Nephi 16:23)

While Nephi and his brothers were hunting, Nephi’s steel bow broke, and they were left without food. The blame fell on Nephi, and even Lehi began to murmur against the Lord because of their hunger and suffering. But Nephi took matters into his own hands and acted. He made a wooden bow and arrow, then asked Lehi to inquire of the Lord where they should look for food.

Like Nephi, we can take initiative when we are faced with a problem. We can work to change our perspective of our circumstances and prepare ourselves to seek counsel from the Lord, trusting that He will give us direction.

Turn to the Scriptures (1 Nephi 17:22–42)

When Laman and Lemuel mocked him for beginning to build a ship, Nephi referenced scriptures to show them the importance of following the Lord’s commandments. He reminded his brothers that Moses, with power from the Lord, parted the Red Sea and helped the Israelites escape Egypt.

When we are struggling to understand the Lord’s hand in our life, we can turn to the scriptures to gain new perspective and inspiration as we find similarities between our experiences and those of ancient prophets.

Trust in the Lord (2 Nephi 4:19–35)

In this chapter, Nephi is overcome with grief because of his weaknesses, sins, and temptations. But his sorrow only lasts for three verses. In triumphant recollection, Nephi remembers “in whom [he has] trusted” (verse 19) and states that he “will not put [his] trust in the arm of flesh” (verse 34).

Nephi’s words remind us that, when we fail to live up to expectations of any kind, we can turn to the Lord and trust in His redemptive power.

Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes the unpredictability can feel like too much to handle.

But as President Russell M. Nelson recently taught: “Whatever questions or problems you have, the answer is always found in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. Learn more about His Atonement, His love, His mercy, His doctrine, and His restored gospel of healing and progression. Turn to Him! Follow Him!”¹

And where better to turn for His love and teachings than the words of the prophets in the Book of Mormon? Teachings from ancient prophets like Nephi were written for our day, and we can always find peace, comfort, and reassurance about the future from their truths whenever life doesn’t seem to be going how we had hoped.

I invite you to truly study the teachings and truths of the Book of Mormon this year.