“How Could I Trust Heavenly Father When I Felt I Was Standing Alone?,” Liahona, July 2024.
Young Adults
How Could I Trust Heavenly Father When I Felt I Was Standing Alone?
I was trying to have faith but kept facing so many challenges. How could I keep trusting the Lord?
Illustrations by Kathleen Peterson
My cousins introduced me to missionaries when I was nine years old. I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but was one of the only members of my immediate family to do so. Since then, I have learned to love the gospel of Jesus Christ more and more. However, for a time, trusting in Heavenly Father and His truths was extremely difficult for me, and I really struggled to keep going forward with faith.
Living differently from the world as a disciple of Jesus Christ can be hard anywhere, but growing up in Hong Kong as a Church member was more challenging than some might expect.
For one, many people in this area do not like the Church and think it’s affiliated with bad things. A previously used Chinese word for “Mormon,” in reference to the Church, included a sound that associated it with the Chinese word for “devil.” For some, this created an unfortunate misperception of the Church’s values.
Also, because there are so many other traditional religions already established and few members of the Church in Hong Kong, it can be easy to feel lonely or isolated. Many people question the Church, not fully understanding its teachings and not willing to give a listening ear to hear what members want to share.
I felt the effects of these barriers most when I was a teenager, but through those experiences, I learned so much about what it means to trust Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Was Living the Gospel Worth It?
In high school, my parents were friends with one of my teachers. This teacher was a practicing Christian in another denomination. At the time, I was the only member of the Church in my class, and many classmates and teachers already had some speculations about the Church of Jesus Christ and its members.
This particular teacher had very strong negative opinions about my faith, which made things complicated because she was a family friend.
For one, I was often sleepy in her class because I got up early to go to early-morning seminary, which made her concerned that I was going to fall behind in my schoolwork. She also put me on the spot and challenged me with a lot of complicated doctrinal questions that I didn’t know how to answer. She even gave me school assignments to read anti-Church literature! She tried her hardest to persuade me to step away from my faith.
This was a challenging time for my faith. Why, when I was trying to stay close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, was staying faithful causing challenges and hardships in my life? Wasn’t I supposed to be blessed for keeping the commandments and sacrificing sleep to go to seminary?
Instead, my grades were slipping, my faith was dwindling, and my relationships with my teachers, my family, and Heavenly Father were suffering.
For a while, I started to wonder if living the gospel was worth it. I started skipping seminary and soon felt my faith fading. It seemed easier to just give in to what the world around me was pressuring me to do.
Choosing to Trust
I continued to pray to Heavenly Father for guidance and understanding. Despite the deep confusion and frustration that I felt about my situation, something in my heart continued to hold on to faith. I talked to faithful friends and confided in peers from church about what I was experiencing, and I was encouraged to talk to my seminary teacher about my struggles.
She responded with compassion and encouraged me to continue attending seminary with a hopeful heart. She promised me that I would see blessings unfold if I kept holding on to faith and trusting that the Lord had much in store for me and would consecrate my challenges (see 2 Nephi 2:1–2).
So, despite the challenges I was facing, I chose to trust.
After a while, I felt my attitude shift. Instead of focusing on the hardships I was facing, I focused on the gratitude I felt for the gospel. I started to focus on the blessing of my family, my divine identity, and the eternal truths of the gospel. And eventually, I came to the knowledge that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are aware of my circumstances and were always standing with me in those moments when I felt like I was standing very much alone.
This changed everything.
As I continued putting my trust in Them, keeping the commandments, repenting daily, and doing the little things each day to connect with Them, I felt my foundation of faith deepening and strengthening.
President Russell M. Nelson recently said: “Take charge of your own testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel. Work for it. Nurture it so that it will grow. Feed it truth. Don’t pollute it with false philosophies of unbelieving men and women. As you make the continual strengthening of your testimony of Jesus Christ your highest priority, watch for miracles to happen in your life.”
And as I did, a miracle did happen.
What It Means to Trust in the Lord
After avoiding any conversations about faith with my teacher for a while, one day when she approached me with questions, I felt ready to answer them with my renewed faith. I kindly asked her if she had ever visited one of our church meetings or read any of the Book of Mormon. When she said no, I felt inspired to bear my testimony of simple truths.
I told her that you can never know if something is true without experiencing it or searching for answers yourself. I explained that I knew the gospel was true because I had worked for those answers and felt in my heart that they were true. I invited her to do the same, and from then on, our relationship was much more peaceful.
This challenge of faith I had as a teenager really prepared me for my future as a disciple of Christ. I have seen so many blessings and promises come to fruition as I have continued to trust the Lord above everyone else’s opinions. As Nephi stated, “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh” (2 Nephi 4:34).
When things aren’t going as planned or we are facing hardships we never anticipated, it can be easy to feel like Heavenly Father has steered us wrong, abandoned us, or simply doesn’t care.
But that’s not true.
In fact, it is always in those times of confusing and heartbreaking challenges that I am reminded what it means to fully put my trust in the Lord. I have to let my discipleship and my faith become meaningful and life-changing instead of robotic and routine. President Nelson also taught, “Your flourishing faith will help you turn challenges into unparalleled growth and opportunity.”
I can see how choosing faith in Jesus Christ has blessed me in more ways than I ever thought possible. This doesn’t mean I always escape grief, hardships, or confusion, but it does mean that I know where to turn for peace and stability.
President Nelson lovingly reminds us, “Please know this: if everything and everyone else in the world whom you trust should fail, Jesus Christ and His Church will never fail you.”
Whatever you are facing in your life, whether it’s unmet expectations, pressures from voices of the world, family issues, mental health struggles, financial instability, heartbreak, unfairness, or any other challenges, I would invite you to continue to put your trust in the Lord. He is fully aware of your circumstances. He knows you. He has amazing blessings in store for you. Even in those moments when you don’t want to trust Him, choose to do so anyway. His promises are sure. He will lead you to joy, hope, and miracles in due time.
He does for me as I continue to trust Him.