“Where Are You in the Pride Cycle?,” Liahona, Dec. 2024.
Where Are You in the Pride Cycle?
To exit the pride cycle, we must recognize that every blessing we receive comes from Heavenly Father.
There is a prevalent pattern of behavior in the Book of Mormon commonly referred to as “the pride cycle.” It is repeated so frequently that one begins to sense that the Lord and His prophets are trying to teach us something important—that perhaps its inclusion in the record is meant to be a warning from the Lord to each of us in our day.
12:00—the Pinnacle of Pride
Using a clock as a metaphor, let’s say that the pride cycle begins at twelve o’clock—the pinnacle of pride. When we are at twelve o’clock on the pride cycle, we, like the Nephites of old, feel so successful, so intelligent, and so popular that we begin to feel invincible. We enjoy it when others compliment us on our successes, and we are irritated when others around us receive compliments on their successes.
At twelve o’clock we tend not to listen to the counsel of others. Sadly, we often conclude that we don’t even need God or His servants. We bristle at their counsel. We are doing just fine on our own. We forget or we reject what King Benjamin taught: that we “are eternally indebted to [our] heavenly Father, to render to him all that [we] have and are” (Mosiah 2:34).
Our modern-day prophets have warned us against unrighteous pride. President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994) called it “the universal sin” and “the great stumbling block to Zion.” Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles compared pride to “a personal Rameumptom, a holy stand that justifies envy, greed, and vanity.” Pride alienates us from God. It pushes us around the pride cycle to two o’clock, where we offend the Spirit of the Holy Ghost.
2:00—Trusting in the Arm of Flesh
Initially we may think that offending the Spirit of the Holy Ghost is inconsequential. Nephi described it as being “lull[ed] … away into carnal security. … All is well in Zion [we think]; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well” (2 Nephi 28:21). Interestingly, at two o’clock on the pride cycle, if we are honest with ourselves, we really are not that happy. We have this gnawing sense that we are slipping. We try to fight back against the uncomfortable currents of the pride cycle. We cling to the memories of past successes and insist on putting our trust in the arm of flesh. This is a serious mistake.
Jesus taught, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:5). When we offend the Spirit, we cut ourselves off from the source of all spiritual nourishment, and it is just a matter of time until we begin to wilt. Without the help of the Lord and the influence of the Spirit, the gravitational pull of the pride cycle drags us down toward four o’clock failure.
4:00—Foolish Failure
The Lord taught Joseph Smith, “Although a man may … have power to do many mighty works, yet if he boasts in his own strength, and sets at naught the counsels of God, and follows after the dictates of his own will and carnal desires, he must fall” (Doctrine and Covenants 3:4).
We can choose our conduct, but we cannot choose the consequences of our conduct. At four o’clock on the pride cycle, we experience the painful consequences of our foolish pride. We may lose the job. We may lose the girlfriend or the boyfriend. We may lose the respect of those who matter most to us. Worse, we may lose respect for ourselves. And we come face-to-face with our own inadequacies. Like Moses, we realize that we are not so important after all, “which thing [we] never had supposed” (Moses 1:10).
6:00—Humility, Meekness, Submissiveness
Failures and afflictions are not happy thoughts for any of us, but ironically, we often find that they are great blessings because they tend to push us around the pride cycle toward six o’clock humility. We are no longer trying to impress those around us. We begin to see things more clearly and more honestly. We are more comfortable with criticism and can smile at our own mistakes and weaknesses. It is not, as one Christian author has observed, that we think less of ourselves but rather that we think of ourselves less.
At six o’clock on the pride cycle, we become truly humble and meek. Humility and meekness are foundational principles of the gospel. We speak often of faith, hope, and charity. But the prophet Mormon suggested that there is a fourth virtue that makes possible the other three:
“I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart.
“If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity” (Moroni 7:43–44).
Another scriptural attribute often associated with six o’clock humility is submissiveness. King Benjamin taught that “the natural man is an enemy to God … and will be, forever and ever, unless he … becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19).
It has been said that meekness is not a recognition of our weakness but rather a recognition of the true source of our strength. There is nothing weak about meek. When we are humble and meek, we don’t elevate ourselves; we elevate God.
At six o’clock on the pride cycle, when we are truly humble and meek, we turn back to God because there is often nowhere else to turn. Our hearts are now broken and our spirits are contrite. A broken heart is one that has been trained through experience to be obedient and responsive to the commands of the Master. Only with a broken heart can we be truly useful and productive in the Lord’s service. The scriptures explain that having a broken heart is a peaceful and hopeful condition and ultimately a prerequisite to eternal glory (see 2 Nephi 2:7; Doctrine and Covenants 97:8).
8:00—Blessings of the Holy Ghost
As we yield our broken hearts to God and because we are humble, the Lord begins to “lead [us] by the hand, and give [us] answer to [our] prayers” (Doctrine and Covenants 112:10). With His guidance, we continue around the pride cycle toward eight o’clock, when we invite the Spirit of the Holy Ghost into our lives once again.
The Spirit’s influence changes our hearts. Like the people of King Benjamin, “we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually” (Mosiah 5:2). We begin to keep God’s commandments, and He begins to pour down His blessings upon us—blessings that He has always desired to give us, for that is His nature, but that we refused to receive because of our foolish pride. We begin to receive blessings because we are now obeying the laws upon which they are predicated (see Doctrine and Covenants 130:20–21). We pay our tithing, and the Lord opens the windows of heaven and pours down so many blessings that we cannot receive them all (see Malachi 3:10).
10:00—Blessed Happiness
Our humble obedience to the commandments powers our progress around the pride cycle toward ten o’clock, when we find ourselves in a state of blessed happiness. We experience success. It should not surprise us; it is a scriptural promise: “I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual” (Mosiah 2:41).
Ten o’clock on the pride cycle is a pleasant and wonderful place to be, but unfortunately it is also a dangerous place to be. Our associates begin to compliment us for all our successes. Unfortunately, we begin to believe them.
If we are not careful, compliments can cloud our judgment and create in us an ungodly desire for more and more praise and credit. Like our ancient adversary (see Moses 4:1), we whisper to ourselves that we deserve the credit, for surely we have done it.
“And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him.
“Yea, and we may see at the very time when he doth prosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of precious things of every kind and art; … yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity” (Helaman 12:1–2).
12:00—the Pinnacle of Pride Again
Slowly—and without fully realizing it—we once again approach the twelve o’clock pinnacle of pride, so busy looking around for praise that we fail to look ahead at the fall that awaits us, for “pride [always] goeth … before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). And so the cycle continues.
Let’s be honest. Most of us, like the Nephites of old, have ourselves taken a few laps around the pride cycle. I used to wonder how the Nephite nation could run the entire cycle in a period of as short as five years. I have since come to believe that we can run the cycle in five years, and we can run it in five minutes. It is a pernicious pattern of thinking and behavior that permeates our society. It is so common that it sometimes becomes hard to recognize.
Exiting the Pride Cycle
Are we consigned to continue forever in this endless loop of despair? Is there no way to get off the pride cycle? There is. In fact, there are two points on the pride cycle where we can exit—one to our eternal destruction and the other to our everlasting happiness.
At four o’clock, when we are facing failure or affliction and feel like all is lost, if instead of becoming humble, we become angry; if we lose hope or give in to self-pity; or if we begin to blame others—including God—for our misfortune, then we will exit the pride cycle. But we will exit downward to destruction, as did the Nephites of old.
But at ten o’clock, when it seems like we can do no wrong, when all is going well, if instead of becoming proud, we become thankful, then we will exit the pride cycle. But this time we will exit upward toward God. To exit the pride cycle at ten o’clock, we must recognize that every blessing we receive comes from Heavenly Father. He is the source of all that is good in our lives—the fount of every blessing. We must embrace King Benjamin’s teaching that we “all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind” (Mosiah 4:19).
A successful ten o’clock escape from the powerful pull of the pride cycle is not easy, but it is possible. We have a few examples in the Nephite record to prove it. Consider this one:
“Notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not lifted up in the pride of their eyes; neither were they slow to remember the Lord their God; but they did humble themselves exceedingly before him.
“Yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them, that he had delivered them from death, and from bonds, and from prisons, and from all manner of afflictions, and he had delivered them out of the hands of their enemies.
“And they did pray unto the Lord their God continually, insomuch that the Lord did bless them, according to his word, so that they did wax strong and prosper” (Alma 62:49–51; see also Alma 1:29–31).
Each of us likely finds ourselves somewhere on the pride cycle. Where are you? If you are at four o’clock, if it feels like all is lost and you are a total failure, don’t despair. You are in a good place. Avoid blaming others for your failure. Humbly turn to God and recognize your dependency on Him.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5–6).
But if you are at ten o’clock, basking in the false light of success, be careful. Avoid the tendency to turn inward and become prideful. “Count your many blessings; name them one by one.” Follow the scriptural counsel to remember all that the Lord has done for you (see Moroni 10:3). As the sacramental prayer reminds us, we covenant to remember Him not for an hour or two but always (see Doctrine and Covenants 20:77, 79). We should not take Him or His sacrifice for granted. We should not fail to be grateful to Him for every blessing.
All good things come from God. He is the source of every blessing we receive. Filling our hearts with gratitude for His merciful kindness will protect us against pride and make a way for our escape from the pride cycle.
From an address, “The Pride Cycle,” given at Brigham Young University on Nov. 7, 2017.