“Be Patient with Yourself and with Others,” Seeking Answers to Your Questions (2022)
“Be Patient with Yourself and with Others,” Seeking Answers to Your Questions
Be Patient with Yourself and with Others
Asking sincere questions is part of being a disciple of Jesus Christ. Become more familiar with skills and principles for seeking answers and helping others with their questions.
The early Saints had a close-up view of Joseph Smith and the unfolding Restoration. They witnessed the miracles—translations, healings, and visions. They also saw the challenges, mistakes, and failures. They learned to follow the prophet with “patience and faith” (Doctrine and Covenants 21:5).
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught, “Be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with.” Elder Holland called upon us to be “patient and kind and forgiving” with one another.1 Patience is the capacity to give our constructive attention to something for an extended period while avoiding annoyance and anger. It requires humility, kindness, and empathy. We will grow in faith as we exercise patience with our brothers and sisters and with ourselves.
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Be patient with yourself.It can be confusing or upsetting when you learn something about Church history that conflicts with what you previously understood or when you see something in the Church that doesn’t match your expectations. Allow yourself time to see the issue more clearly and begin to understand new information. Continue studying and praying. It may take time before you feel like you are back on solid ground. Those who have seen this process through often testify that it has deepened their conversion to the gospel.
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Be patient with Church members.Every Church member is imperfect. Our wards and branches are filled with earnest believers who often fail to live up to the lofty standards of godliness. The same problems we find in the world—cliquishness, selfishness, moral failure, and more—are found among us. As we worship and serve together, we will witness each other’s mistakes and failures. This doesn’t mean that we should be silent when we notice wrongdoing. But we can leave room for God’s grace as others strive to improve, just as we hope they will be patient with us.
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Be patient with those who want to help.Church members who are struggling with questions or uncertainty often turn to family members, friends, or local leaders for help. In many cases, these resources offer comfort and support. Unfortunately, sometimes the person we turn to becomes defensive or suspicious or fails to show empathy when interacting with us. It can be difficult to be patient with others when we experience moments of crisis or fear. But as we strive to extend the same patience to our would-be supporters that we seek for ourselves, we can help soften their hearts and find resolutions for our own concerns.
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Be patient with Church leaders.The Church leaders called to direct this work are honest but imperfect people. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, then Second Counselor in the First Presidency, observed that “there have been times when members or leaders in the Church have simply made mistakes.”2 This was true in the past and is still true now. A Church leader might say something that compounds your frustration or sense of isolation. They might not show the compassion or understanding you need. We should be vigilant about illegal or abusive behavior from a Church leader or anyone else. But we should also readily extend our support, love, and patience to the majority of Church leaders who are simply and imperfectly laboring for Zion.
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Be patient with the Lord’s timing.When we have questions about the Church, we often reach for a quick answer. We hope that a prayer or a meeting with a Church leader or reading everything we can find, regardless of the source, will resolve our feelings. But finding peace is often a longer process. The mismatch between our hopes and our current reality can be painful. Like Nephi, we can take comfort in knowing “that [God] loveth his children” even though we “do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:17).
Key scriptures: Romans 5:3–4; Alma 7:23; Doctrine and Covenants 21:5