How can I support someone who self-identifies as transgender?

Elder Ronald A. Rasband taught that people who experience transgender feelings “need to be encircled in the arms of their Savior and know they are loved. So often the Lord calls on us; He expects us to be His welcoming, loving arms. We need to encourage their friends to do the same” (“Jesus Christ Is the Answer” [Evening with a General Authority, Feb. 8, 2019]).

Talking about feelings of gender incongruence can be difficult and confusing. Your loved one may not know how to talk to you about it. You may sometimes feel inadequate. Although you may not always know how to respond to the struggles someone else faces, you will not regret reaching out with love and understanding.

If you overreact, get angry, or say things you regret, don’t be discouraged. This may be hard for you as well. This is one moment in a lifetime of conversations you will have with your loved one. If you feel you should apologize for your actions, do it.

If you are worried or feel grief in this situation, know that you are not alone. You may worry that the future you envisioned for your family is slipping away. The process of grieving may take time. (See “Grief,” Gospel Topics, topics.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.)

President Bonnie H. Cordon explained: “We all want to be recognized. We want to matter, to be remembered, and to feel loved. … We can listen and love without judgment and offer hope and help with the discerning guidance of the Holy Ghost. … Whether our sheep are strong or weak, rejoicing or in anguish, we can make certain that no one walks alone” (“Becoming a Shepherd,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2018, 74, 76).