Being Honest with Myself

By Matthew Hansen

The author lives in Utah, USA.

I was lying to myself and the Lord about my struggles.

Last year during school I didn’t have the most pleasant experience. I started to feel overwhelmed with all of my schoolwork, and I started to get depressed. I stopped caring, I didn’t go to class, and I didn’t do my homework or use my time wisely to get back on track. I didn’t want to face my problems by admitting that I was struggling.

It was at a youth conference that I finally decided to address my issues. For the first time in months, I was finally able to feel the Spirit again. That was because each morning and night I took the time to be completely honest with both myself and my Father in Heaven about how I was really doing, through personal prayer and scripture study. This helped me to narrow down all the issues in my life that I could change.

Whether it was spending too much time on my phone or binge-watching the latest popular streaming TV series, I identified my biggest distractions and was able to truly focus on what matters most in life. As I continued to truthfully speak with Heavenly Father about my hardships, I felt like my honesty with God and myself gradually helped me develop more integrity. I began to act in faith and put forth the effort to work through my struggles.

I have since been able to better focus my time and efforts on worthy causes, and this has made such a big difference in my life. My struggles with depression and motivation have not ceased, but now I find peace and solace during them as I continue to read my scriptures and pray daily with real intent. I’m starting to see my issues with more of an eternal perspective. I can now say that my weaknesses have started to become strengths (see Ether 12:27).

As I’ve acted fervently upon promptings and stayed honest with myself, my Heavenly Father, and my Savior, I have seen the blessings of integrity manifested greatly in my life.