“3 Ways to Cope with a Crummy Day,” New Era, Sept. 2019, 8–9.
3 Ways to Cope with a Crummy Day
These simple strategies have helped me go from terrible to terrific.
Illustrations by Michael Mullan
Have you ever had an inexplicably crummy day—the kind where chocolate milk launches from across the cafeteria and soaks you in stickiness? The kind where you find out that the secret you told Beth—who told Danny, who told Ashley, who told everyone else—isn’t so secret anymore? The kind of day that you just can’t wait to end?
Me too.
For example, the day my rain boot had a leak on the way to school, leaving me sloshing in one frigid, wet sock. Or the time I lost my newly marked scriptures in a taxi, never to be seen again. Or—worst of all—the night I took a bus in the wrong direction and didn’t realize it for an hour!
Things can feel pretty crummy sometimes, but you don’t have to stay down! These simple strategies have helped me conquer my crummy-day woes.
1. Make a daily list of God’s blessings.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the little ways God shows that He knows and loves you—especially when you’re distracted by the bad stuff. For example, one morning after several people mentioned a zit I had on my forehead (one dubbed it “the volcano”), I could barely respond without an angry outburst. It almost ruined my day.
During difficult times like this, I cultivate gratitude by listing ways I see God’s hand in my life every day. I write down at least three blessings per day, often more.
Sometimes they may seem little or silly, but they are always things that help me know that God is aware of me specifically. For example, that same day at my job a particularly grumpy customer gave me a compliment—I was floored. He didn’t even mention “the volcano”! It went on my list.
What blessings have you seen today? Focus on the positive. Maybe your friend’s text was an answer to your prayers or simply put a smile on your face. Write down the tender mercies you see, and you’ll keep noticing more.
When we physically record these times that we see God’s hand in our lives—rather than just think of them briefly—it shows God that we recognize them and are grateful for them. President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, described what happened as he engaged in this process:
“Something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.
“More than gratitude began to grow in my heart.”1
As we do this, we learn to change our focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. And that will make all the difference!
2. Pray to know what God thinks of you.
It’s easy to get distracted and worry about what your friends or classmates think of your personality, clothes, athletic ability, Insta account—you name it. But whenever I start feeling self-conscious about those things, I know I need a serious wake-up call! What really matters is what my Heavenly Father thinks of me—and He’s much more concerned with my faith than my fashion.
If you’re not sure what God thinks of you or you just aren’t feeling His presence as strongly as you’d like to, reach out to Him in prayer. You can ask something like, “Father, what do you think of me?”
Through the Spirit, I have felt His love lifting me, encouraging me, and praising me for my successes, even when I find it difficult to see myself in a positive light. You too can feel the love He has for you—just ask.
If you don’t get an answer the first time you pray, keep asking. Strive to live so that the Spirit can be present in your life—keep the commandments, seek guidance in the scriptures, and attend the temple as often as you can so that you can be worthy to receive revelation. Your Heavenly Father wants you to know that He loves you, is rooting for you, and sees the magnificent potential you have as His child. So give Him the opportunity to tell you!
3. Fast for a better attitude.
Though we often fast for spiritual strength during trials, we can also fast to have a simple attitude adjustment. (Fasting, as opposed to just starving, will not make you crankier—it gives you a real spiritual boost!)
An attitude adjustment was (and still is) the solution to most of my problems. Sometimes my crummy day is simply the result of my crummy attitude—I might dwell on difficult circumstances, feed negative thoughts about myself and others, or give in to self-pity. The most powerful antidote is a change of perspective that helps us see life in a more positive light.
On my mission, it sometimes felt like people’s hearts or doors would never open to the gospel. Especially during our hardest times, my mission companion and I would fast to bring hope and happiness into our work.
First, we would kneel in prayer, asking our Heavenly Father to help us be positive, take setbacks well, and recognize His hand in our lives and our work. We also prayed that by having more optimistic attitudes, we could better represent our Savior, Jesus Christ. Then later, when we felt tempted to fall back into negative attitudes, we would say a small prayer, asking Him to bless us with the perspective to find the good (or at least the funny) in any situation.
Although we didn’t always have more success after those fasts, we were able to feel the Spirit more and kick negative feelings to the curb—usually through plenty of jokes and laughter.
When you are feeling overwhelmed by the mishaps of life, try fasting for a better attitude. Ask God to bless you with hope, optimism, and humor in the face of your own difficulties.
You Have the Power!
The next time you have an exceptionally bad day, remember that focusing on the good, letting God’s love into your life, and fasting to have a better attitude can give you the power to change your perspective! You don’t have to endure in hopelessness, waiting for the next misfortune that lurks around the corner.
As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught: “Your best chance for being happy is to do the things that happy people do. Live the way happy people live. Walk the path that happy people walk. If you do, your chance to find joy in unexpected moments, to find peace in unexpected places, to find the help of angels when you didn’t even know they knew you existed, improves exponentially.”2
So remember: there’s a lot you can do to make a terrible day terrific!