Seeking Christ over the Darkness of Pornography

Photograph from Getty Images, used for illustrative purposes, posed by models

In planning articles for young adults, we spend a lot of time thinking about the issues they are facing now. There are so many. But as we were brainstorming for this month, we were led to a topic that has affected us personally, our friends, and countless others: dating and pornography. We knew that planning this section was going to be tough. After all, pornography affects so many people in heartbreaking, sometimes life-shattering, ways. And for young single adults, it can make the future seem even more uncertain than it already does, especially in preparing for marriage.

We truly saw Heavenly Father’s hand guiding our work as we started receiving stories from young adults whose relationships have been affected by pornography. And we see that there is more than just a glimmer of hope for happy, addiction-free eternal marriages. Why? Because every single story testifies of the life-altering, hope-giving, healing power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement.

So if you find yourself in a relationship that’s affected by pornography, we invite you to read this month’s section, with articles shared vulnerably by others who know all too well that the struggle against pornography is real. These articles cover topics like how to bring up pornography when you’re dating and how to address it (page 44), how to respond when someone admits to a struggle with pornography (digital only), how forgiveness and healing are possible for both people (digital only), and how the Spirit can lead you to know how to proceed in your relationship (digital only).

We know that if you rely on the Savior and invite the Spirit into your life as you seek answers, Heavenly Father will lead you in the right direction for your unique situation. The darkness of pornography may be prominent in the world, but the Savior’s healing light outshines any darkness. All we have to do is seek Him.

Sincerely,

Chakell Wardleigh and Mindy Selu

Church Magazines young adult section editors

Best Advice …

Instead of asking young adults for their best advice for someone whose boyfriend or girlfriend has struggled with pornography, this month we have taken counsel from President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. He taught:

“Everyone you meet will have had challenges in life. Pornography is one of the main challenges we face today. However, pornography seems to be winning the day in destroying lives, relationships, and families.

“Anyone who is considering marriage deserves transparency and complete honesty with her or his intended spouse. Talk with each other and find out where a person’s heart is and what he or she is doing to become ‘a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord’ (Mosiah 3:19). …

“If you are in a relationship in which your date is sincerely trying to find freedom from habitual use or addiction to this ‘new drug,’ you may be able to help him or her. Too many men and women suffer in silence because we have unintentionally demonized those who are addicted to pornography. Parents, family members, and friends can do much more to help those in trouble by being willing to listen and offer support and encouragement.

“Nevertheless, boyfriends and girlfriends are not responsible to ‘save’ their friends from sin; each person has that responsibility for themselves.

“Only you can decide, with the Lord’s help, how to proceed in a relationship in which pornography plays a role in the life of a potential future companion. If you choose to remain in a relationship with someone struggling with this temptation, help him or her turn to God in prayer, in fasting, and in regular scripture study. Additionally, encourage visits with parents, family members, priesthood leaders, and professional counselors to get additional help and support.

“There is always hope if they sincerely choose to fight this battle. It may not be easy, but it is worth it!”

From a question-and-answer address given at Brigham Young University on November 14, 2017.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received about planning for the future? Send us your response at liahona.ChurchofJesusChrist.org by October 31, 2019.

Find these articles and more:

• At liahona.ChurchofJesusChrist.org

• In YA Weekly (under the Young Adults section in the Gospel Library app)

• At facebook.com/liahona

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