Bringing the MTC Home

By Merrilee Browne Boyack

The author lives in Utah, USA.

Six skills that will bless our children’s lives—whether or not they serve full-time missions.

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two people reading the scriptures

During this year’s pandemic, many houses unexpectedly became missionary training centers as those recently called to serve were asked to study at home instead of at a Church facility. But even before the pandemic hit, the lowering of the missionary age placed more responsibility on parents to help prepare their children for service. As Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “The ultimate missionary training center is in our homes.”¹

Perhaps during this upcoming new year we could try to transform our homes into mini-MTCs—not just for a season but in a way that becomes part of everyday life. Here are six skills you could work on together as a family, maybe as part of the Children and Youth goal-setting program. Even if your children don’t end up serving full-time missions, these lessons will help them more easily transition to adult life when the time comes.

1. Teach them to love the scriptures.

Do our children understand that scriptures can help them make good choices, provide spiritual protection, and bring comfort during difficult times? President Russell M. Nelson has taught, through words and example, that power comes from reading and learning about Jesus Christ.² We can help our family develop a habit of reading together each day. Here are other ideas to help young ones get excited about scripture study:

Buy them a copy of the Book of Mormon when they start learning to read so they can practice marking and using it, encouraging them to take note of what they learn about Jesus Christ. (Visit store.ChurchofJesusChrist.org and click on “Gospel Study.”)
Memorize a scripture together each week, celebrating each new verse! Invite children to share what they’ve learned with grandparents or Primary teachers.
Have family home evening lessons about using the scriptures. It can be fun for children to create a system for marking or to explore different ways of adding notes. Teach them how to use footnotes and find things with the index, such as the roles and mission of Jesus Christ. This might also be an opportunity to clarify what the Topical Guide is—and that it’s not a tropical guide!

The best thing you can do, with this and every aspect of teaching, is to set an example for your children to follow. I still remember watching my mother studying a big Bible in her lap. You never know what influence your quiet example will have on your children.

2. Teach them to be independent.

As parents, one of our jobs is to help our children eventually take command of their own lives. Ideally, they will have developed many areas of independence by the time they walk out of our door with a missionary name tag on. This means that they need to have practiced making choices and experiencing consequences before reaching the end of their teenage years.

“Generally, a young person who has been allowed to take responsibility and develop appropriate independence will have an easier time adjusting to missionary service,” said Robert K. Wagstaff, a former mission and MTC president. “This means that it is important for parents to nurture their children in such a way that encourages independent, responsible decision-making skills founded on gospel principles.”³

One mother encouraged her children to get up by themselves so they were used to taking responsibility for their morning routine. Another family invited children to keep their own calendar of activities. Our children were taught to handle their own money from a young age. All of these skills—including others like basic cooking, cleaning, clothing care, riding a bicycle, and driving a car—help equip our children to live successfully without us when the time comes.

3. Teach them to work hard.

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mother and daughter washing dishes

I sometimes hear returned missionaries proclaim happily in sacrament meeting talks that missions were “the best time” of their lives, only to follow that statement with, “And it was also the hardest two years. I have never worked harder in my entire life.”

Teach your children to work hard, physically and intellectually. Work alongside them. Show them that hard work can be rewarding and even enjoyable. Completing simple projects together, like weeding the garden or folding laundry, also provides opportunities to talk.

4. Teach them to speak up.

In this increasingly digital world, it’s important to help our children learn to talk to other people face-to-face, including how to interact politely and confidently with strangers. This requires courage, but courage can be developed by practice. Here are ideas you could weave into daily routines:

Children can safely practice talking to strangers by ordering food, buying movie tickets, confirming a doctor’s appointment, and so on.
Set an example of welcoming new families at church and encourage your kids to do the same when they notice new peers in class.
Role-play, perhaps during family home evening, how to calmly agree to disagree.
Host the missionaries for dinner and encourage your children to talk with them about something they’ve learned from the scriptures lately.

5. Teach them to dress appropriately.

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father helping a son put on a tie

Why are young men encouraged to wear a white shirt and tie when they pass the sacrament? Why do we dress in our “Sunday best” for Church meetings? Dressing appropriately can show respect for our own bodies, for others, and for Heavenly Father. The way we dress can also influence the way we think and act.

As Elder L. Tom Perry (1922–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, once taught: “Our dress will reflect the way we intend to live, founded on principles of the gospel of our Lord and Savior. It is impossible to expect children who have been taught to love to dress in the immodest style trends of the day, to then change overnight to an entirely different wardrobe when they enter a Church university or a missionary training center, or when they are married in the temple, or even when they dress for the Sabbath day. Modest, proper styles must be taught almost from birth.”⁴

We can start to help our children dress appropriately for different situations when they are at a young age, including dressing nicely for Church meetings and other times when we are making an extra effort to invite the Spirit. We can also teach our kids how to care for their clothing—helping them practice doing laundry, ironing, fixing simple tears, and replacing missing buttons. These simple skills can increase their self-reliance and help them transition into adult life with more comfort and confidence.

6. Teach them to love and serve others.

A mission experience involves new cultures and companions. We can help our children practice appreciating those who seem different and helping those in need. We can begin today to follow the invitation given by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

“Try to truly see everyone around you as a child of God. Minister to them—regardless of whether their names appear on your ministering sister or brother list.

“Laugh with them. Rejoice with them. Weep with them. Respect them. Heal, lift, and strengthen them.”⁵

Nurturing a loving heart in our children takes regular effort. As a family, set goals to develop Christlike attributes such as kindness, patience, empathy, courtesy, and charity. Point out the loving behavior you see in others. Be quick to praise your children for the kindness they show, especially when circumstances are difficult.

Helping our children learn to love is perhaps the most valuable mission-preparation lesson we can share. As President Thomas S. Monson (1927–2018) said: “There is no substitute for love. Successful missionaries love their companions, their mission leaders, and the precious persons whom they teach.”⁶

Let’s fill our homes with love and prepare our children to share that love with the rest of the world!