“Just one more cookie …” Proceeds to eat the entire bag of cookies.
“I’ll do that assignment later tonight …” Puts off the assignment for so long that you’re forced to pull an all-nighter to finish it before your class starts the next morning.
“I’ll start exercising on Monday. I’m going to keep at it every single day!” Exercises for one week and then falls back into the realm of couch potatoes the next week.
How many times have you caught yourself in similar scenarios when it comes to meeting goals or checking something off your ever-lengthening to-do list?
I have. Many times, in fact!
All these patterns have to do with one thing: self-discipline. And gosh, being a master over yourself is hard. Let me tell you, when it comes to self-discipline, I’m not perfect. But over the years, I’ve learned a thing or two about my habits of procrastination. I now realize that self-discipline is ultimately about respecting and honoring yourself. Mastering ourselves is what we all need to strive for in this life.
President James E. Faust (1920–2007), former Second Counselor in the First Presidency, taught: “In its simplest terms, self-mastery is doing those things we should do and not doing those things we should not do. It requires strength, willpower, and honesty.”1 And truly, as hard as self-discipline sounds, it really does make life so much easier.
Ultimately, I’ve found a few ways to accomplish much more than I ever thought possible with all my imperfections, and I want to share them with you!
Tips for Developing Self-Discipline
1. Love Yourself Despite Your Weaknesses
Are you easily distracted? Are you prone to giving up when you can’t do something perfectly on the first try? Is your tendency to procrastinate a force to be reckoned with?
We all have weaknesses, and one key to sticking with goals or being self-disciplined is taking note of the weaknesses that sometimes hinder you. I’m a perfectionist, so when I set a goal to do something every single day, like reading my scriptures or exercising or even working on a project, I have a habit of giving up when I miss one day of effort. My brain has a tendency to think, “Well? What’s the point? You already broke your streak! You may as well just give up now.”
This is where self-compassion comes in. Instead of beating yourself up in shame when you mess up or when you don’t do what you wanted to do perfectly, offer yourself some compassion and try again tomorrow. Self-compassion, not shame, is one key to overcoming weaknesses and moving toward success. And as we recognize our weaknesses, we can understand what they’re actually stemming from. As we know, the Lord can help our weaknesses become strengths (see Ether 12:27); we just need to be patient.
2. Remember What a Gift Your Agency Is
Our ability to make choices every single day is a true blessing. Although it would sometimes be nice to have someone make all our decisions for us and tell us exactly what we need to do to achieve success, that’s not what life is about!
Instead, we get to use our God-given agency to make our own choices to return to Him rather than being forced to do one thing or another. How amazing is that? Elder Robert D. Hales (1932–2017) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles reiterated this: “To all who desire to enjoy the supernal blessings of agency, I testify that agency is strengthened by our faith and obedience. Agency leads us to act: to seek that we may find, to ask that we may receive guidance from the Spirit, to knock on that door that leads to spiritual light and ultimately salvation.”2
With this gift in mind, let’s exercise our agency to act and not to waste time.
3. Don’t Try to Do Too Much at Once … Especially of Things You Don’t Like
A few years ago, I was tired of my many failed attempts to live healthily, and I was determined to make a change. This time, I started out making just small goals instead of large ones. And that made all the difference. In the past, I would aim to go running five days a week and eat well 24/7, all while cutting out sugar and bread. I was successful at first, but eventually I would burn out and give up. It also didn’t help that I dislike running with a burning passion (and love bread), so after a while I gave up on that too.
So I made changes to my plan! I took things slow to build healthy habits over time. I chose to eat healthy most of the time while still allowing myself to have a treat a few times a week. And the key to sticking with exercise was finding activities that I actually enjoyed instead of following a strict schedule. I started hiking, going on walks, and riding my bike, and I even invested in a fitness trampoline! Exercise became a part of my routine instead of something I had to force myself to do each day.
Doing things I actually liked and pacing myself allowed me to finally have the willpower I needed to keep up these healthy habits.
4. Remember Your Divine Potential
Realizing who you truly are as a child of heavenly parents can help you understand your divine potential. This knowledge will help you believe that you can succeed and that you can keep growing and learning. Confidence in who you are can also help you keep the promises you make to yourself. How often do you break a promise to someone you care about deeply? Probably not very often! So then why on earth do we so easily break promises to ourselves? You are the one person you are in charge of completely, and you gain a lot of power when you realize that.
Whenever I feel myself slipping into procrastination or feel like giving up on a goal, I consider the commitment I’ve made to myself to accomplish what I’m striving for. I envision myself accomplishing that goal. And treating my goal as an important promise helps me stay confident and motivated to keep going.
5. Remove Distractions and Temptations
I’ve learned that temptations can be removed when it comes to self-discipline. For example, if you’re someone who binges junk food even though you know it makes you feel terrible later, simply buying less junk food or removing it from your pantry altogether is a good place to start.
Another trick I have is that when I know I’m going to be tired after a long day at work but I want to get some exercise in, I’ll change into my gym clothes right when I get home so I won’t have any excuses to not exercise at some point that evening.
And seeing that our phones can be our biggest distractions, sometimes I remove the temptation completely by putting my phone in another room or even putting a time limit on my social media use. Take note of your biggest distractions and find ways to limit your exposure to them. Sometimes it’s simpler than you think.
6. When You Want to Do Something Good, Act—Don’t Think
This is something I tell myself and a lot of my friends when they make comments like, “I wish I exercised more,” or “I really wish I knew what to do for my friend who just lost her job.” The key here is that instead of wishing or thinking about doing these things, choose to act, and then actually do them. It’s that simple.
Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke about this concept of acting on spiritual impressions. He said:
“First promptings are pure inspiration from heaven. When they confirm or testify to us, we need to recognize them for what they are and never let them slip past. So often, it is the Spirit inspiring us to reach out to someone in need, family and friends in particular. …
“… May we live close to the Spirit, acting quickly upon our first promptings, knowing they come from God.”3
Acting on good things prevents missed opportunities. Put your gym shoes on as soon as you think about exercising. Bring your friend a loaf of bread. Open the Gospel Library the moment you want to try to squeeze in some scripture study. You don’t need to wait for an invitation or a perfect moment to act. And it’s much more fulfilling to act than to regret what you didn’t do later.
7. Look to the Savior
At the end of the day, when the challenge of overcoming our weaknesses seems like too much to bear, heed the counsel of Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “I bear my witness that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I testify to you that, thanks to His love, it is possible to change. It is possible to leave our weaknesses behind. It is possible to reject the evil influences in our lives, control our anger, become meek, and develop the attributes of our Savior.”4
Unfortunately, I—and many of us—usually lack in the discipline department (thanks, mortality), even when it comes to small things, things that could be accomplished in just a few minutes. But all we have to do is try. Try to improve. And believe that we can! As President Russell M. Nelson taught, “The Lord loves effort.”5 As we choose to try and desire to improve our mastery over ourselves, the Savior will lend us His strength to change our hearts and to succeed and to become new creatures through Him (see 2 Corinthians 5:17).