Life Planning and Life Balance
Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults
Sunday, November 19, 2023
Elder Clark G. Gilbert: Thank you, Elder and Sister Cook, for your wonderful counsel. Christine and I are excited to discuss this first question regarding life planning and life balance.
Sister Christine Gilbert: We have a busy family. My husband has always had demanding work expectations—as a Harvard professor, the CEO of a media company, and the president of two university organizations. During all of this, we both served in busy Church callings. But our most important responsibilities have always been to our marriage and children.
Elder Gilbert: I was reminded of this when I had a season leading the Deseret News. How many of you young adults actually read a printed newspaper every day? Raise your hands. That’s exactly what I thought—almost no one. I was given the responsibility to help transform the Deseret News from a traditional newspaper to its digital future. It was an incredibly demanding season. At the time, we had seven of our eight children, and I was serving as a bishop.
One day, out of the blue, President Boyd K. Packer called and asked me, “Brother Gilbert, I’m inquiring about your family. Are you paying enough attention to your wife?” I paused and answered, “Probably not.” He then said to me, “Brother Gilbert, you will lead this media group for a season, but you will be a husband and a father for eternity.” He then gave me an assignment to have a weekly date with Christine.
He next asked me what time I was going to bed, to which I replied 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning every night. His response was counterintuitive to me. He said, “You think this all depends on your own effort. You don’t trust the Lord.” President Packer gave me an apostolic curfew, which I have strived to keep ever since.
Sister Gilbert: So if you have a curfew and a weekly scheduled date night, how do you manage other significant responsibilities?
It starts with planning. Since the early years of our marriage, my husband and I have held a weekly calendaring session every Sunday night. For us, this is a commitment we never miss no matter how busy we are.
Second, balancing life responsibilities also requires shared goals. Even when we have to be apart, we still feel united when we have a shared purpose. So when my husband was traveling with work or I was up teaching an early morning seminary class or he was out on a ward assignment, if we had calendared those responsibilities and were aligned in our purpose, we were together even when we had to be apart.
Elder Gilbert: Still, there are times when you need to put clear boundaries around certain choices.
Clay Christensen, a dear friend from Boston, once shared how a supervisor had asked him whether a Sunday morning meeting or a Saturday morning meeting would work better for a weekly, regularly scheduled team meeting. Clay responded, “Years ago, I decided I would commit Saturday to my wife and Sunday to God, and if you would like either of them back, you will have to ask them directly for their permission.”
Certain commitments need to be non-negotiable in your life. For our family, this has included Sunday church attendance, weekly family home evening, morning and evening family devotionals, and time together as a couple each week.