Mirthright

One of the brethren who is a member of the Houston Police Department related the following true story:

One Sunday afternoon he saw a car run a stop sign. He turned on his red lights, and as the car pulled to the curb he noticed a “Happiness is Family Home Evening” bumper sticker on the rear. The large family inside didn’t know the policeman was a member, and the following dialogue took place.

“What’s the emergency?”

“We’re late for church and we’re all going to give talks.”

“Oh? What do you mean, ‘give talks’?”

“Well, you see, we’re Mormons, and we don’t have paid clergy; so each Sunday a family from the congregation is asked to put on a part of the program. That’s why we’re in such a hurry!”

The officer, still writing the citation, paused to ask, “What is the subject of your talks?”

A little voice answered from the back seat: “Obeying the Laws of the Land.”

Monty Yoakley
Spring, Texas

The choir was practicing “Oh, Divine Redeemer” one day when we came to the phrase “remember not my sins.” The word sins was sung on a dotted quarter-note, followed by a rest. When the choir members kept holding on to the dotted quarter-note, ignoring the rest, the choir director said, “Stop holding on to your sins!”

Paula L. Morrow
Santa Ana, California

I must have been a sad case before I was married, because my father used to call my hope chest my “articles of faith.”

Becky Harding
American Fork, Utah

Our children were very proud of their daddy when he was sustained as bishop of our ward. We didn’t realize just how proud, though, until the following Monday morning when five-year-old Gary asked if he could take Daddy to school with him. When we asked why, his reply was, “I want to show and tell him.”

Sally K. Graham
Farmington, New Mexico

When we informed our little three-year-old sister-in-law that her sister was going to have a baby and that she would then be an aunt, she thought for a moment and replied, “I would rather be a kangaroo.”

Gregg R. Wilkes
Denver, Colorado

I was feeling sorry for myself at having to shop for groceries on a Saturday evening, when I ran into one of the sisters in our ward, a mother of nine children. She had the two younger children with her—one in the cart, grabbing at the items in the huge heap of groceries, and the other toddling behind, holding onto her skirt.

“Hi!” Sister Smith said enthusiastically when she saw me. “Isn’t it great to have a night out?!”

Ann Bateman
Salt Lake City, Utah

Raw courage and pioneer spirit did not end with the Saints crossing the plains—nor did their sense of humor. While helping one of the Idaho Saints bail out the more than one foot of mud and slime from his flooded home recently, we were amused each time we passed the new sign which read, “Please wipe your feet before entering.”

Wayne B. Lynn
Centerville, Utah

Can you call back tomorrow, Brother Jones? It’s our family night. (Illustrated by Dale Kilbourn.)